by Open mind 23 Replies latest members private
How about:
"Of everything about this sick, twisted, f*cked up religion that I could rail against, I think I personally feel the worst about what I have done (or haven't done) to my sibling. It truly rips my guts out that [I] went along with the Borg for many years and never once talked to you out of a stupid, misplaced loyalty."
That would work for me.
Madame Quixote:
Would it be OK if i just give you the phone number and................ Just kidding. Very well said. And thank you very much.
Bizzy Bee:
Thank you. I guess if I just let my heart take the lead, I'll be fine, except I've got to bring in the brain on the maintaining the charade part. If it's not good enough for my sibling, well, I will certainly understand and at least I've made a first step.
Anybody have any experience either making or receiving a call like this?
Open Mind
Hmm lemme see...(scenario)I am long time df'ed and an awakened relative was going to call what would I like to hear?...this....."I forgive you for waxing your gran's moustache when she was asleep and gluing action man boots to her budgies feet"...you're exonerated......woo hoo
Hey OM
My sister colorado5591 on this board was dfd for years. I did not talk to her for years (wasted) because I loved her and didnt want her destroyed.
I didnt even tell her I was DA'ing. I wondered what I might possibly say to her after treating her like crap for all that time. She saw my DA thread on this board and welcomed me back with open arms. Im looking forward to seeing her at the dallas fest in a few days.
Dude, a contrite apology goes a long way.
DONT WAIT!
Your sibling might be angry at you for cutting them off from your life. Be prepared in case they are not happy to hear from you. Doing a mea culpa is not easy, but a necessary thing, if one is to truly get free from the WT Society.
If I talk to my sibling right now, my sincerity may be seriously suspect because I'm not ready to throw my arms wide open yet. I'll be glad to pour my heart out, but I also have to say that I've got to maintain this heartless, cruel charade as long as I'm still working on my family.Would you buy that? Or would you say, "Come back when you're ready to welcome me with no strings, stigmas, or stupid game-playing attached."
I could easily understand someone feeling that way. So, do I wait for, possibly more years, or make the call now? My heart says, call now, and I'm going to. I just feel horrible about maintaining the charade. But, I'm not willing to throw in the towel on my immediate family over this either. If I blow it all up right now, I doubt that I would succeed.
Any suggestions on how to word the "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, but, BTW, gotta keep playing this stupid game for now" portion of the conversation?
Open Mind
Spill it Open Mind! We only have today, and we only have one another. Tomorrow may be too late.
To BFD: Thanks for everything bro. I feel your pain. Know that you are loved uncondtionally.
Nvr
"I'm sorry. Now, how and where can I help, THE OTHERS?"
sKally
I think as long as whatever you say is sincere then your sibling will be overjoyed to have you back in their life....
it's really helpful to line up your allies like that. it really helps to have some *outside* support for when the going gets tough...
Two years for me. On my wedding day, six months after, not one of them made contact. They wouldn't have been struck by lightning just sending a text message. From that day on, I stopped missing them. I was having such a great day and they didn't even nod.
My point is that if I do hear from them one day, and an apology isn't within the first few sentences; not for the wedding thing, just for going along with the shunning... I don't think I'd want to continue the conversation. I would, just in case they're in a less stable situation than you re whether they want to stay witnesses, but I wouldn't want them back in my life if they don't acknowledge the way they have treated me. You might be surprised at exactly how badly you have treated them.
I think your sibling would understand completely if you told them that you're very subtly trying to make the move out, and would not sabotage you. You'd know better though; maybe your sibling isn't so bright.
I'll be glad to pour my heart out, but I also have to say that I've got to maintain this heartless, cruel charade as long as I'm still working on my family.
Yep, I'd buy that. Tell us how it goes!!!
