I simply gradually quit going. Of course, this was many years ago and maybe the "rules" have changed, but rather than create drama among my family, I just let them think I was becoming materialistic and spiritually weak. At least it kept them talking and associating with me rather than cutting me off. Things are changing now though. I guess the WTS is cracking down on them. But I always wondered why people write a letter of disassociation rather than just stop going.
Why do people choose to d'assoc by letter instead of just fading?
by journey-on 33 Replies latest jw friends
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OUTLAW
Because..They take it personally..WBTS could care less..Your just one more head of cattle that didn`t make the grade...OUTLAW
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Xena
Because we all have different needs and some people need or want the closure it gives them.
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purplesofa
Closure
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juni
Hello. My name is Juni and I DAed myself from the WTB&TS.
Why? Not for any immoral reason, but because I wanted them to be clear with the fact that I made the choice not to be a part of what they promote. I wanted them to leave me alone. My husband decided not to DA. He felt "why bother".
Also, I have no other relatives who are JWs. It really is a personal matter that each person has to decide for themselves.
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jgnat
Some people need a clean break.
Another advantage is that the elders will stop calling. No more peeking from behind closed curtains.
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BFD
That's a good question. My sister converted a guy and they got married in a KH in 1974. It was the last time she ever stepped foot in one. No one ever bothered to try and contact her. Me, I was 16 in 1976 was baptised in '73 or '74 (can't remember) but I wanted out because I couldn't take it anymore even though I still believed it was the "truth". I would go outside and smoke a cig between the public talk and the WT. I got the boot shortly after that.
If I knew then what I know now, I just would have faded. But, I was young and dumb and full of cum.
BFD
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IP_SEC
1. Cut the cord. You dont want to talk to me? I dont care, doesnt matter how much DNA we share.
2. Dont want no 'shepherding' call
3. I was very well known in my circuit. I hoped it would impact some.
4. Dont ever want my name assc. with a no blood taking, pedo allowing, thought killing group of people.
5. UOH! JUST MY STYLE.
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uninformed
at this point in organization history a lot of people are not allowed to fade. We quit meetings 11 months before they disfellowshipped us over the UN/NGO deal. Course I wrote 4 letters to the WT during that time. Brant
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gymbob
I DA'd myself because the elders didn't give me much choice.
I tried to do the fade, but I had some real buckaroo elders in my town and they just were not going to let that happen. (I was a ex-bethelite, pioneer, etc.)
I started to miss a few meetings and they would come by on saturday afternoons and ask, "hey, where the heck have you been lately?" So I would tell them I was sick, or working over-time or some other excuse, when I was really researching Jehovah's Witnesses online and lurking on JWD when my family was at the hall. After a few weeks of that, they came by to visit IN SUITS, wanting to know what was going on.....
I tried, but lying is just not me.....after I told them that I had some real questions about some of the doctrines of the org., they got the JC together (plus, this was when the whole UN thing was going down, that was big for me). I told them that I wouldn't be there. They said if I don't show up they would DF me. So, I came to the hall that night and handed the elders a note that said I choose not to be associated with JW's from now on, period. Basically telling them "you can't fire me, I QUIT!".
My wife (now ex-wife) was also reporting to the elders what I was doing, that didn't help.
In the end, I wouldn't have lasted long. For me, it's either pee or get off the pot. Both of my kids are going to be DF'd this thursday and frankly, i'm proud about that. They've been away for a few years now and really don't give a damn what the local elders do. I'm glad to be part of watching the borg's numbers fall. And the funniest thing about the whole deal is, none of the elders even know my kids!
They grew up and moved out years ago. Their publisher record cards have been in the files for years, nobody comes by to visit or see how they are, but now 4-5 years go by and they've got to make a annoucement because it's come to their attention that they now attend a church somewhere! Great sheperding, uh? GYMBOB