The many ways Jehovah's Witnesses harm children

by under_believer 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • under_believer
    under_believer

    Was talking with my therapist this morning and I made the comment "I guess I don't mind if she is a Witness as long as it doesn't harm the kids." This got me thinking about all the ways that being raised as Witnesses harms or can harm children.

    1) Teaches children to have an air of superiority regarding other human beings.
    2) Teaches a siege mentality about the evil, horrible world where children feel like the world is out to get them.
    3) Superstition regarding demons and Satan
    4) Sets kids up for teasing and ridicule because of no holidays, no flag salute, and constant pressure to "informal witness" at school. This feeds back into #2.
    5) Often Witness kids miss out on cultural touchstones of their generation--cartoons, movies, music, etc.
    6) Heavy discouragement to go to secondary education. This leaves adult Witnesses ignorant, often unable to properly provide for themselves and their families, and unable to reach their full potential.
    7) No blood transfusions, of course.
    8) The "two witnesses" rule raises the likelihood that pedophiles will go unpunished and abuse again.
    9) Families are often torn apart by the disfellowshipping arrangement. There is no overestimating the ill effect this kind of turmoil can have on children.
    10) Independent thinking is heavily discouraged, meaning that many Witnesses grow up without the tools to question what they're being taught or told--whether by the Society or others.
    11) The Society's primary motivator is guilt, institutional, grassroots-enforced, top-down guilt. I do not know a single Witness or ex-Witness that doesn't have serious issues with guilt. It is just not healthy to be raised with constant guilt.

    That's everything I can think of off the top of my head--anyone have anything to add?

  • Zico
    Zico

    Children are raised with a very unhealthy view of sex.

  • La Capra
    La Capra

    Children are taught to be "conditionally honest." If someone is not entitled to honest information, or if it could hurt them, they are taught (by example and instruction) to lie. Shoshana

  • BFD
    BFD

    How about

    Growing up thinking my father, grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins will be bird food "really soon".

    Thinking I was going to be bird food "really soon" because I could not live up to the standard

    Afraid every time I got a cut that I would bleed to death because I was carrying that effing blood card around with me

    Being told that Satan's demons lurked around every corner

    What a healthy way to raise your kids.

    BFD

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    It represses, suppresses, and oppresses them. I was raised in it and you always feel like you're teetering on the edge of something. It made me shy around "outsiders", suppressed much of my creative urges, and made me fearful and afraid to speak up. And you miss out on so much fun stuff.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    If I had children going to the Hall, I would be doing everything in my power to end that. That would
    include becoming DF'ed if necessary, being shunned by my mother and others. You may not feel
    the same way, that's your decision.

    I read HOW TO RESCUE YOUR LOVED ONE FROM THE WATCHTOWER by David Reed.
    http://www.amazon.com/How-Rescue-Your-Loved-Watchtower/dp/0801077524

    David states something to the effect that tearing up your kids lives can do more damage than just
    allowing them to go to the hall and making sure they get a balanced view of things from you.
    I don't have the book anymore (gave it to someone else) so I can't quote him.

    My point is that David disagrees with me, perhaps he is right. You can harm your kids by making
    them have to decide if Dad is apostate and evil or if Mom is misled by a mind-control cult. You can
    encourage them to have a balanced view of life, education, material goals, etc. You can fade and
    allow them to fade some with you. David thinks that most of them will leave the religion if you do that.

    I say, "MAKE SURE THEY DO NOT GET BAPTIZED AS CHILDREN. MAKE THEM WAIT UNTIL AFTER
    THEY TURN 18. That will give them a chance to reject WTS without ever getting baptized and later
    shunned." Shunning is terrible to put upon a teenager or barely adult person. Steer them clear of that.
    Consider telling the wife that you don't want them to have the added pressure of the Theocratic Ministry
    School until they are straight A students.

    "They have enough pressures with schoolwork. That's their job. No arguments. "
    Also, consider avoiding their become regular publishers.
    "They aren't baptized and their obligations are not firm until they are baptized, so maybe they can go with
    folks in the recruitment field service work, but I don't want them to become regular publishers until they are ready."

    Just my thoughts.

  • TheCoolerKing
    TheCoolerKing

    Being born into the JWs and growing up as a JW child, I feel as though I lost out on my childhood. I never knew what it was like to celebrate my birthday or have a birthday party. I could never join in with the other kids in school for the holiday celebrations, like Thanksgiving or Christmas parties. This is NOT a normal, healthy childhood.

    But I think that even worse than these things, is that a JW child is taught to only care about those people that are fellow JWs. No one else in the world matters. That is very sad.

  • aarque
    aarque

    Being raised a JW is also socially backwards... not being able to have friends on the outside, and close friends on the inside were frowned upon. So, my sisters and I to this day are not close to anyone except each other. Even being out all these years hasn't made a difference... none of us can get past that "wall" that exists between us and the rest of the world. We know a lot of people, but don't have any close friends at all.

  • Uzzah
    Uzzah

    Interesting your first point about the air of superiority. Yet that is mixed with regular dosages of "you are nothing and worthless " messaging.

    So worldly people are scum and JW kids are specks of dust, deserving of nothing. They are never good enough and must always do more.

    They also grow up never knowing unconditional parental love. At any time a parent or sibling can stop being part of your life if you screw up.

    Nope not at all damaging to a child's psyche

    Uzzah

  • Who are you?
    Who are you?

    They miss out on having their parents raise them....instead they are raised by the WTS. Every single unneccesary and potentially damaging example mentioned in this thread is a result of allowing a book publishing company to tell you how to raise your child. F*** the WTS.

    UnderB ...it is awesome that you are in therapy! Your are on your way to giving your children what they need. Good for you!!!

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