Taliban/Osama jokes

by BoozeRunner 6 Replies latest social humour

  • BoozeRunner

    Q:Why does Osama always carry a piece of shit in his pocket?
    A: It's his photo ID

    Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
    A: Nothing, yet.

    Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
    A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

    Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
    A: Duck

    Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
    A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

    Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
    A: So they can see their Air Force.

    Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
    A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

    Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of shit?
    A: the bucket

    Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
    A: Two days.

    Q: Why don't bin laden's people eat shit sandwiches?
    A: they can't stand bread

    Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
    A: because the camels can't handle it


  • TR

    LOL Boozy!

    I have a moral question for you.

    This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is important to decide what
    you would do.
    The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in
    progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and
    structures destroyed.
    Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news
    service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You
    come across Osama Bin Laden who
    has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a
    tree limb and is about to go under, You can either put down your camera
    and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he
    loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think
    carefully before you answer the question below: > > > >


    Which lens would you use?

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • TR

    New TV schedule for the week

    > > 8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
    > > 8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
    > > 9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
    > > 9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
    > > 10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
    > >
    > >TUESDAYS:
    > > 8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
    > > 8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
    > > 9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest
    > >Things"
    > > 9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
    > > 10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
    > > 8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
    > > 8:30 - "When Northern Alliance Attack"
    > > 9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
    > > 9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
    > > 10:00 - "Veilwatch"
    > >
    > > 8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
    > > 8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
    > > 9:00 - "Veronicas Closet - cFull of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
    > >and Veils"
    > > 9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
    > > 10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"
    > >
    > >FRIDAYS:
    > > 8:00 - "Judge Laden"
    > > 8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
    > > 9:00 - "Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things"
    > > 9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
    > > 0:00 - "No-witness News"

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • JanH

    A hilarious one I just received, though it's prolly old: http://yonkis.ya.com/imagenes5/guerra/talibamm.htm

    "come mr taliban turn over bin laden". sound & picture.

    I didn't know Dubya had rhythm...

    - Jan
    "Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets

  • Tatiana

    What Osama reads.......


    "Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)

  • TR

    THE GREAT WALL --An American Dream !!!!!
    > >
    > >Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladin and "Uncle Sam" are out walking
    > >together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
    > >"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says
    > >theGenie.
    > >The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
    > >farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of
    > >Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for
    > >Osama Bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan,
    > >that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
    > >Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around
    > >Afganistan.
    > >"Uncle Sam" (A former Air Force Airfield Manager), asks, "I'm very
    > >curious.Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well,
    > >it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the
    > >country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."
    > >
    > >"Uncle Sam" says "Fill it with water!"

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • Sirona

    What do Osama Bin Laden and Nylon Knickers have in common?
    They both irritate Bush.


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