Am I in some sort of phase?

Inquisitor

Why I am so obsessed with Christianity? I've been reading many books on religion and church history, which I would never have done before. I'm consuming all this information but I don't know what the purpose is. I don't feel like I'm searching for Truth. I am at a stage where I'm convinced that there is no such thing... at least not in Christianity. I can be a "cultural" Christian, but never a believing one. Am I trying to build up a buffer of knowledge so that I will never be deceived again? What is my behaviour a response to?

Why can't I let go?

Why can't I not bother with religion altogether? I don't get it. You would think that having been duped by one religion and seen the theatrics of JWs and Bible-waving anti-JWs, I should be so sick of Christianity to the point that I am not interested in it. And yet...

Why?

INQ

DJK

What is my behaviour a response to?

Possibly the loss of someone close, friend, relative or a woman. Age can do it to you too.

Don't focus on it too hard and it will pass.

OnTheWayOut

It could be that you have entered a phase. Were you obsessed with JW's or anti-JW issues for awhile?
Has some other "phase" of life just ended? Is there a reason to reflect?

KW13

Why I am so obsessed with Christianity? I've been reading many books on religion and church history, which I would never have done before. I'm consuming all this information but I don't know what the purpose is. I don't feel like I'm searching for Truth. I am at a stage where I'm convinced that there is no such thing... at least not in Christianity. I can be a "cultural" Christian, but never a believing one. Am I trying to build up a buffer of knowledge so that I will never be deceived again? What is my behaviour a response to?
Why can't I let go?
Why can't I not bother with religion altogether? I don't get it. You would think that having been duped by one religion and seen the theatrics of JWs and Bible-waving anti-JWs, I should be so sick of Christianity to the point that I am not interested in it. And yet...
Why?
INQ

i often saw myself as a kind of drug addict coming off the harder stuff, needing something to replace my addiction till i got rid of my habit. the need to pursue religious topics and even talk about being an ex-jw is a phase. eventually it all comes to a point for some lucky people where it has little or no bearing on their lives. you may be one of those but expect to wait!

greendawn

Perhaps you are trying to differentiate between the JWs and real Christianity, let's not forget that the dubs are deep down a Judaic religion masquerading as Christianity. It projects the image of the severe NT god on centre stage and relegates the Christ to a minor position.

Or perhaps you want to clear some residual insidious JW influences from your subconscious mind.

Narkissos

In one of his last movies Ingmar Bergman has a character say something like: "We cannot believe in God anymore but we cannot dispense with him either." Which is only partly or mildly true concerning Western society at large but may be very true of some individuals, depending on their personality and their particular history. I have often felt like that. At some point it was no longer about "belief" (at least in any realistic, non-metaphorical sense) but it was still a part of "who/what I am". Moving on to me could never be "just snapping out" but reading again, from an ever changing perspective.

Bumble Bee

It could be a phase. When I first started questioning things, I studied more than I ever had when I was a JW, read lots, especially the bible, listened to sermons etc.

Now it's all out of my system. I don't want anything to do with organized religion anymore, don't find myself reading up on religion anymore either.

Who said "This too shall pass"?

BB

anewme

I think...........if you really trust God.......then you know he is going to forgive you and still love you even though you dont become a monk and study about him 9 hours a day and flagellate yourself for your sins.

I mean RELAX MAN! You are neither perfect nor a murderer so whats God going to do with you?
Tell him you love him if you do. And follow Christs example of simplicity and joy and kindness to your family and neighbors. What is there else to do?

Too much studying makes one argumentative and arrogant and in the end hypocritical and unhappy.
Better to just be simple and "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" and do not worry.

"God loves the sparrow" so be like a sparrow and chirp happily and thankfully while on earth and dont worry.

anewme

Sorry. I sounded like Im whacked.

Im feeling really good and have some happy crazy dulcimer music on, sipping peach tea while outside I hear my little roostie "errrrrking" (which is what roosters do when they are not crowing)........

So anyway things are clear and simple and life is good at the moment.

Hence my strange comments,

Peace,
Anewme

BridgeOverTroubledWater

Why can't I not bother with religion altogether?

Guilt.

At least that's what it was for me...

Am I in some sort of phase?

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