How about when your kids ask questions, tell them to look it up in the Bible?
Hubert
The "WHATEVER!!!" List. (Opinions wanted on a get-the-kids-out strategy)
by Open mind 14 Replies latest members private
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OnTheWayOut
I don't have kids and didn't intend to comment on how you handle them. I do like Carla's suggestion.
BUT if your goal is to get the kids out of the organization, stop using the loaded language.
Don't say "But, I'm not leaving the truth over it." It's not "the truth." Try breaking yourself of the language.Even as a so-called active Dubby, you can do this with your kids, and yourself.
"It's part of being a Jehovah's Witness." (Not one of Jehovah's Witnesses, but a JW.)
"The door-to-door distributing work."
"Literature Study (instead of Bible Study)"
"Steve or Judy (instead of Brother Jones or Sister Smith)"
Spoken prayers can be to God or Our Heavenly Father, leaving out the name "Jehovah"If you are bold, you can have fun with the "Borg" meaning Brooklyn Organization and the shortened "JW"
for the members, saying "members" in front of your wife or other JW's as a more subtle word.
Get to where you refer to them as THEY or THEM. State opinions on the need for further education and
retirement planning, take vacations other than DC trips. -
vitty
There is a really good example of someone getting his family out , during the weekly family study, on the Freeminds website. He does it very subtly over a number of months. I think he starts by asking them how they would answer difficult questions in FS, then tells them to research the answers.
I will try and find the link if you are´interested ?
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Open mind
Carla:
sometimes a 'I dunno' with that very slight edge in your voice detectable only to teenage girls will speak volumes as well.
Thanks. I'll tuck that one away for occasions when there isn't time or we're under surveillance.
Jez:
do not let them get baptized until they are at least Jesus' age when he was baptized. He did, after all, set the example.
I've read that one several times on this site, but it finally just clicked into my dub-think brain to actually mention it to the kids next time we have the "how long can I put off baptism" talk.
DJK:
I get the feeling you are just keeping the peace and trying to go with the flow for your wife and kid's.
Yes, you've pretty much hit it there, except I'm also trying to make sure I don't waste my time while "going with the flow". I want to take advantage of every opportunity when it drops in my lap, plus create some opportunities at pre-selected intervals.
Nosferatu said re: nose studs:
"You know what? You're right! Let's go get you one."
Great idea. Just not quite ready yet. Wifey needs to be a little more behind that idea. Yeah, I could pull the "headship" card, but I never have up 'til now and I don't think that would help our marriage at a time when I'm really working at strengthening our relationship.
Scully:
(b) not discourage any desire they have to further their educations.
This is one area that we're all on board with. Sometimes I think my wife hates janitorial work almost as much as child molestors. She despises it and has almost completely gotten out of it. The kids openly talk about going to college in conversations with other dubs and man does it chap some of their hides. Especially the hardline recruiters for Window Washer U. That's the only school we're adamant our kids not attend.
If they have friends outside the JWs, it will go a long way in helping them see that "normal" people aren't all that bad.
I'm working on this on several fronts. Not just the kids, but my wife & I as well.
Sass_my_frass:
Try to make it actually physically happen, so that they can get a concept of how long their list is getting.
Good idea. At this point, I think I'll start making a private list for each family member with the idea of using it when the time is riper. In the interim, I might just verbally recite what's on a person's list, when an issue comes up.
Nvr:
Got my 13 yo son out!
THREE CHEERS FOR NVR!!!! How long ago? Did you post details? Looking forward to the day I can post the same thing.
Hubert:
How about when your kids ask questions, tell them to look it up in the Bible?
Love that! For the right issue, that could be very useful.
Onthewayout:
stop using the loaded language.
Excellent reminder. It drives me crazy when I catch myself using it by accident. I'm still using some of it here and there on purpose. Especially around Gestapo elders with finely tuned "Apostadar". But, I'm really trying to completely cut it out around the kids. Thanks.
Vitty: I believe your talking about Jim Whitney, aka "Amazing" on JWD. His story was one of the first I read as a newbie lurker and it gave me much hope and practical ideas. Some of our family "studies" have been pretty far out there thanks to his suggestions. I tell my wife that if we try to stifle free thinking in our kids, they're just going to resent it. She reluctantly agrees.
Thanks again to everyone and if there's any more $.02 out there, please let me have it.
Open Mind
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kierkegaard
I think a good one to add to the list is:
Why are there no open forums to ask objective questions at Jehovah's Witness meetings. In all aspects of life, from the moment we speak we ask questions. In school, at work, at play it is expected and encouraged to ask constant questions, to be constantly examining, and constantly defining our perceptions on everything. All civilization and culture is based off of this one fundamental aspect of life.....questions. Why then is one considered "weak" or "apostate" when one wants to ask questions at JW meetings. After all where else to ask spriitual questions than at a spritual table. I've asked several elders this question and all they could do is throw their hands up and say that is not how the organization works. My response was that "if you are telling me that this is God's organization, and im asking for spiritual help, he would say that is not how the organization works?" That sent a clear message to me, God would not say that, this must not be God's organization. Since then ive realized that "God does not dwell in temples" or in organizations, meetings, conventions, synagoges, monasteries, only heaven.