how long were you out before...

by lydia 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Athanasius

    Hi Lydia,

    I have been out since 1984. In the spring of that year I read Ray Franz's book CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE. No JW can read that book and remain in the Organization in good conscience. Being an elder I could't just suddenly walk away without creating suspicion. So I resigned as an elder and then became hit and miss with meetings. I attended my last meeting as a JW in October 1984. However,in the 1990s just for fun I have attended some JW meetings at KHs where they don't know me. The JWs thought I was an interested person and would try to convert me. They always failed though.

    It was through FREEMINDS that I learned of this site. I live in California.



  • RR
    The JWs thought I was an interested person and would try to convert me. They always failed though.

    Since we moved quite a few times since we left, none of the JW's in our area know us. ALthough I remember while on my route I was delivering mail ['m a Letter Carrier] I delivered a letter to my old CO, we even talked but he didn't recognize me with the beard.

    No JW ever visits us twice, once I make a comment they deny ever happen, I take them to my library and their eyes opo out their as I show them from their own publications.

    Religion is man's attempt to reach God,
    Jesus is God's attempt to reach man.

  • lydia

    I too moved to an area where they don't really know me, but my x-brother-in-law is a sub co and he had some elders stop a while back. They haven't been back since (they didn't like the Christmas Decorations I guess! hehehehe).
    Keep posting here - we love to meet new ones who have left!

  • Mommie Dark
    Mommie Dark

    I spent several years working at overcoming the cognitive dissonance I experienced my last few years in the cult; there was no 'event' but rather a series of incidents that helped to open my eyes and free my mind. I left in 1986 for good but I had been mostly disaffected for several years prior.

    We went online in '93 and I spent a lot of time learning facts that confirmed my suspicions about this cult. I found Kent and Randall's excellent information sites, and began corresponding with them and with other exes who helped me find reams of accurate information to finish deculting my soul. Randy saved my life, literally, although he's too modest to admit it, by daring me to tell some of the scary stories I had bottled up inside me. I would probably have deleted myself along with my work if not for his challenges. I was on the Philia mail list in its heyday when a hundred mails a day or more was not unusual.

    I used to be much more serious and sincere, and active in countercult awareness concerns, but the older and (physically)sicker I get, the less patience I have with the self-delusional and the apologists. I'm a cranky old bitch and I usually don't bother to sugarcoat that fact.

    I took down my website, and try to keep a much lower profile than in the past. There are wiser and kinder advocates to act as guides, and I leave it to them to actively reach out to newbies. I never refuse a direct request for help, though, not being entirely heartless; I still get regular emails from people who have read my articles at Free Minds, and I answer them all.

    I've spent years in therapy trying to learn to cope with the nastiest effects of my lifelong brainwashing. I still haven't entirely found wholeness, and still suffer painful gridlock if I try to seriously pursue any creative art. That deep-imbedded self-loathing is a WT gift that keeps on giving despite fervent attempts to erase it; I'm currently incapable of putting earnest effort into the slog work of writing, and I never ever sing at all any more. Serious writing is as painful and horrible to me as vomiting ground glass. I've learned to accept that I may never finish that novel or write another word beyond these off-the-cuff conversations at message boards. I've learned to enjoy my canary and the wild birds and the wind, and to let their voices sing for me. I'm still learning to accept that I may always weep when I hear good music. It isn't a wonderful life but it's all mine, and I own it entirely, one minute at a time.

    I have a gorgeously wonderful adoring young husband, two grown sons with ADHD who are fine young men, and an amazing ten-year-old son who is the light of our lives and the sweetest reward in my little world.

    I've been visiting here and annoying folks since last winter.

    Haven't had a Jdub come by my house in at least seven years, drat the luck! I have no idea what might pop out of my bitchy mouth if they ever do...might be fun to find out, eh?


  • JWinSF

    I decided to DA in January 1994 and advised the elders of it. They didn't really try to change my mind. I read the books "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom" by Raymond Franz after I initially made my decision to DA and knew that when I sent my letter in March 1994 there wasn't any reason why I'd want to remain in the corrupt and untruthful Organization [my decision to DA initially was due to my sexual orientation].

    I got on the Internet in the summer of 1996. First a regular on Watchtower Observer's message board, then a regular on H2O. When H2O made changes a while back and the frequency of posts declined, I came here based on a friend's recommendation. That was a few months ago.

    And, I'm from San Francisco

  • AMarie


    I was disfellowshipped about 2 years ago and inactive for about 2 years prior to that.

    At first, when I stumbled upon this website a year ago, I could not bring myself to join since it was "apostate", but decided to linger. I finally joined a few months back and love the title.


  • lydia

    Thank you for the posts so far - it is wonderful to find out how long it toook until everyone found our "home" here.
    I guess I should be fair and let you all know something about myself,so here goes:
    I left in 2000 after finding out that my husband at the time was leaving me for his mistress. Fun times. I only found this board in Aug. of this year and couldn't wait to join in. Very glad to be here.
    MommyDark - I admire your input alot - so very honest. I too have a son with ADHD - perhaps sometime we will converse some on the trials of that.
    I live in Central Pennsylvania also.

    Looking forward to knowing all of you better!

  • Englishman

    Been out 29 years.

    Been extremely opposed for 10 years.

    Been on the net 2 years.

    Weston super Mare, Somerset, England.

    OH yes! In answer to queries, Weston super Mare is Latin and means Weston-on-Sea. There's lots of places Something on Sea in the UK, most of them were super Mares up until a hundred or so years ago, we're just a bit slow here!


    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • Billygoat

    Been out for 11 years.
    Been here for about 4 months.
    I live in Dallas, Texas.

  • Budda Belly
    Budda Belly

    Been out since '89

    Opposed since that year.

    Came here about 1yr. ago

    I live in Laguna Niguel, Ca

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