I have no mouth, and I must scream

by under_believer 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  megsmomma

  Under...It is obvious you feel like you must do things to appease them and not make life miserable....but, from your comments...you sound like you are not real fun to live with right now because of your unhappiness. That is what your kids and wife see. A grouchy guy, hatin life......Let them see you free and happy. You can come home early on meeting nights and PLAY with the kids till the last second when maybe they'll get ready for the meeting...and YOU DO NOT HAVE TO....maybe someday they will stay home with you, seeing as you are so happy.

  SHOW YOUR FAMILY YOUR TRUE HAPPY SELF...BY FINDING THAT SIDE OF YOU!!
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  jwfacts

  For the same reasons I did what you are doing for 10 years. 10 terrible depressing years. I spent 10 years thinking how pointless my life is and how much i will hate myself when I am old and dieing knowing that I did not live the life i was meant to live. One of the greatest moments of my life was the day i was disfellowshipped, the world lifted off my shoulders. Even though I went through Post Traumatic Shock at loosing my family and friends and not knowing what I believed I still woke every morning grateful for finally being alive.

  It took 12 months for me to rebuild a life, but I have never been happier than now. Luckily my wife stopped going to meeting when i was disfellowshipped. She was disgusted at how I was dumped by my family and realised by that alone that the religion can not be truth. My children said how happy they are that they no longer have to be part of that "stupid" religion. Who knows, maybe at least some of your family would support you too.
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  Gill

  JWfacts - Of course his wife will support him, and his children.. My husband must have been depressed for years. He became the most wonderful person on the planet as he gradually pulled away from Watchtower land and felt his feet and started to be happy for the first time. His happiness was reflected in how he treated us. Even when I still 'believed' the watchtower BS, I prefered to be with this happy loving man than the miserable people in the WT Society.

  It's all in how you play the game.

  He got his head round losing all of his family except for us, his immeadiate family and my parents, who treat us as normal.

  People get used to things.

  All will be well if you can remain happy and of course loving and kind.

  There does not have to be any confrontation. ' I don't want to' will be the words that other people will have to get used to. 'No' is a fabulous word and excellent for your self esteem!
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  Brigid

  Under_believer,

  You will find no ill-judgement here, my friend. You must do what you feel you must. When the pain of your situation becomes unbearable; the stress of duplicity, of hiding yourSelf, of hiding from yourSelf, you will have no more choice then you did when you were born from your mother. But these things cannot be rushed anymore than a fetus can be ripped from the womb without damage. You may wander the void for many many years or lifetimes or you may wake up tomorrow and shed your trappings. The choice and your life are yours.

  Do what thou wilt.

  We are here.....

  We are here. Voices and ears and helping hands when you reach for us in the dark path you now tread.

  Love and Much Light, my friend...

  ~Brigid