THE HAPPY FACTOR

by Dogpatch 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gayle

  "People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be" - Abraham Lincoln

  I was mostly happy as a child growing up (since 9 yrs old) in JWs. However, after becoming an adult and for sure a mother, I gradually got a "crisis of conscience." I started re-evaluating everything. One item was this: was I happy back then? Not always, but mostly. I did not love to go to meetings, and I did not love to go door-to-door. I'd usually go door-to-door with a friend (back then kids could go together door-to-door) where we would talk & giggle between houses, I'd pioneer with young friends that were fun. When I went with those who were so serious, I was miserable. School as a JW kid would be awful, but I would try to make friends there to some degree and be a good student. I realized I was happy back then but not to the credit of the JW organization. I found my way to be mostly happy, in spite of the JW organization. So even since leaving the JWs, I have found it is my responsibility to be happy. Now, it is just easier.
• 

  Anti-Christ

  I'm much happier today and a little bit more as time goes by. I think it has to do with learning my "authentic self". Wen you'r a jaydub they teach you to wear a social mask and wen your raised in it it's harder to discover who you realy are. My mother in-law is a second generation jw she has so many psychological problemes it's sad. My brother in-law also second gen. is an alcoolic on anti-depressents, his mother and sister are on anti -depress.his wife( my wife's sister) third gen. is freeking out. She is starting to question the WT I guess it's a good start.
• 

  mcsemike

  I think in a way some aspects have been discussed before. There is always that "elitist, special" group that a JW now belongs to. Not to say they are necessarily mean or arrogant, but there is a certain comfort in being unique or in an exclusive club, for example, "I'm in Mensa and most people aren't" or "I'm saved and you're not". There is also that factor of revenge whereas I've heard many JW's say, "Now the world will pay for how they treated us (read ME) all these years. I may be corny, a dork, ugly, fat, stupid, whatever, but God says I'm better than the successful people and I'm going to live and get "fixed" and all the beautiful people will die". I've seen this often in my psych field.

  Others are just too comfortable to change or think, for that matter. They cannot stop outside the box and say "what if this isn't the truth"? It's not possible for them emotionally to take that step. Those who have belonged for decades have too much invested: money, time, pride, ego, the works. To admit now that they were wrong and wasted their lives and possessions is more than they can bear. So they stay.

  Some are old and sick. They will die soon and what could be better than to wake up feeling and looking like Superman and living forever?

  But the bottom line is that most JW's are miserable, and they can't hide it. And now that people have quit and are doing well and are happy and lightning hasn't struck them dead, some JW's begin to wonder if they shouldn't quit also.

  There are many more things that could be considered, but these cover a ton of ideas.
• 

  avidbiblereader

  You are only a happy witness IF you are going at it Full Bore without a thought in your head.

  I seen plenty of babies smiling and happy with a diaper full of sh#t but only because they didn't know any better.

  abr
• 

  mcsemike

  To ABR: I liked your analogy. Very appropriate. Same level of IQ, education, and knowledge. Same material composition.

  It really does matter how you view it all. So many millions just do not know any better. The sadness and irony is that they believe they do, that we don't, and that we should die for our error. We don't wish the rank and file dead just because they are JW's, so why do they wish us dead?

  I guess the warning Jesus gave about being careful about judging people doesn't matter them. Yet I thought they knew every scripture and the correct understanding.
• 

  BizzyBee

  "When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things." I Cor. xiii. 11.

  There is a difference between being 'child-like' and 'childish.'
• 

  endlosung

  Mind Novocain, people in general like to have every thing figured out in advance, and not have to think for them selves.

  The same reason that people go to palm readers, make john Edwards rich, and follow ghosts around.

  Reminds me of Bill Murry on ground hog day, "People eat blood sausage Rita, People are stupid"
• 

  gumby

  The topic in this thread is the reason I wrote this thread,

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/130414/1.ashx

  So, how bout you Randy, are YOU happier? Me, i'm not sure really, and that bothers me

  I do know this, if I had it to do over again, I'd leave them if I knew they we're bogus....even if it made me unhappier.

  Gumcantlietohimself
• 

  TheCoolerKing

  This topic really made me think about something. At one point in my life, after I had left the JWs, I was extremely depressed. Yet whenever I would talk to someone about my problems, I always had a smile on my face. People would ask me all the time, "Why are you smiling as if you are happy, if you are really so depressed?"

  Finally a friend of mine said something to me that made it all very clear. She said, "I've finally figured you out. You smile all the time to hide the pain that you are feeling." After she said that I thought about it and realized that she was absolutely right! That "smile thing" was something that I learned as a JW. Many times I was sad and unhappy as a child and a teen. But "The Organization" always said that we should be happy people, so I always made sure I smiled, regardless of how bad I really felt on the inside.

  I think that it's actually the same for many JWs. While they may appear to be happy on the outside, they are in reality in alot of pain on the inside. It's a really sad situation.
• 

  Dogpatch

  avidbiblereader said:

  You are only a happy witness IF you are going at it Full Bore without a thought in your head.

  Exactly! I went full bore until 1979-1980 with the Franz Incident at Bethel, which caused me to change direction. I never lost happiness, but lost my naivete, which was very disconcerting. Big life changes, a lot more uncertainty. But Gumby, I never lost my happiness and continue to be happy for the most part. Perhaps it is a state of mind I inherited from my dad:

  http://www.freeminds.org/family/ken.htm

  Randy

  Net Soup! http://www.freeminds.org