conspiracy theories after leaving or being disfellowshipped

by rosalyn 11 Replies latest jw experiences

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  rosalyn

  Greetings everyone:

  I need some feedback on treatment after leaving or being disfellowshipped: not necessarily about how you were shunned by family members, ex-friends etc. but please don't hold back if you would like to let me know about that aspect. I may relate one or two situations of my own if this thread gets going.

  What I am looking for is: Did you notice anything that might have been taken as attempts to discredit your name, sanity, credibility etc. Stalking by our former group.?

  I never felt that anyone was going out of their way to "keep an eye on me" but I remember commenting to my non-witness sister-in-law that several times when preparing for a birthday parties witnesses would come a knocking that Saturday morning. I always chocked it up to coincidence but she said "ya know many of them would know when the kids birthdays would be through the witness relatives....maybe they are popping 'round on purpose"

  It did make me think a little but not much because we would often have these celebrations on varying weekends either before or after the actual date. Also I didn't dwell on it much because I was having major fun throwing these kiddie parties. I will openly admit I did dwell on other things

  I would so appreciate some ideas on this because I have a dear friend who is going through a hellacious time right now with some scary thoughts on such possiblities. He has sometimes felt that they might even be following him.

  I will make one short comment about being able to recognize "them" in a crowd. I have been in a car with a friend and pointed ahead and commented "there they are: out knocking on doors" I am talking of a distance of about a block or two away and not being able to see faces. She is quite impressed with my observation skills I am such a sleuth

  Looking forward to everyone comments.

  barbara/rosalyn
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  Junction-Guy

  Here is my opinion, most JW's wouldnt bother following or harassing ex members UNLESS they were perceived to be a threat by actively speaking out against the WT Society or the local congregation.
  
  Current JW's under suspicion, Yes most definitely!! The elders have been known to go on stake outs trying to catch someone in some kind of afair.
  
  
  By the way I too have a keen sense of picking JW's out of crowds, I call it my Dubdar
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  Finally-Free

  Hi Barbara! Long time no see!

  Did you notice anything that might have been taken as attempts to discredit your name, sanity, credibility etc. Stalking by our former group.?

  There was a lot said about me by JWs, even to my former neighbours who were not JWs, to alienate me from people in the community I grew up in. There was one car chase, one slashed tire, and my current neighbours noticed that my home was being watched. They provided me with license numbers. It stopped once a police report was filed. The JWs are also aware of my new security system now. It was funny to watch a video clip of one leaving a tract in my door handle. Her attempt to avoid having her picture taken was funny, but futile.

  W
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  Pahpa

  I agree with Junction Guy

  Most JWs will not harrass an individual who has been disfellowshipped. To the contrary, they will make at effort to completely shun you. In fact, most JWs don't know what to do when they meet a df'd member.

  Undoubtedly, the slander of df'd members takes place mostly within the congregations. (They have to justify someone leaving "God's organization." ) I think they would be more reluctant to discuss the situatiion with "worldly people" who probably would sympathize more with the df'd invididual.

  Of course, there are always the exceptions.
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  rosalyn

  Thanks for the imput so far. Insightful.

  Something I had forgotten about. (I have been unattached since 1981 on my terms and 1985 by their terms.) So you forget things and that's a good sign. Many witnesses are janitors, cleaners right? Banks etc. I remember cleaning the Avco Finance when I was 18. Never ever gave it a thought to rifle through any drawers or the like but how secure are these places really. I don't know because I just never gave it a thought until today. This was suggested to me by my friend when we had recent telephone conversation.

  Plus there are some who are in positions of trust like nurses, hospital technicians. In a perfect world, if they are doing their jobs right they won't let personal opinions get in their way.

  I work in a library and there is no way I would tamper with a JW's(or anyone else for that fact) over dues and loan periods etc. to cause them inconvenience. My job is too important to me and I wouldn't jeopardize it for those people anyways.

  I do remember one JW who would have fines constantly and the line of questioning was quite accusatory towards me in particular. She never came out with "Are you doing something that I am getting all these fines?" but came so close to it. My work ethic is very important to me and they aren't worth it. I don't even tell other people what they take out of the building.

  But now that my friend has mentioned this angle I have to be honest... I don't have the same amount of confidence in their honesty as I do in mine.

  Does anyone remember the term "righteous lying"? Like I said before I have blessedly forgotten so many things and it just sounds like something we did when in the organization.

  Wew I am having a trip down memory lane here......In 1981 I remember letting my husband think I had left the organization but when he was on the afternoon shift I would go to the meetings and I would go out in service when he was on day shift.....Did that for several months.

  more later

  ros/barb

  Anyways that another angle to look at.
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  Honesty

  Did you notice anything that might have been taken as attempts to discredit your name, sanity, credibility etc. Stalking by our former group.? rosalyn

  All of the above when I was still 'technically' a JW but suspected of apostasy.

  It all stopped when I called Bethel and shared my observations and intentions with the Service Desk. I was announced 2 days later at the local congregation level.
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  Junction-Guy

  Yes Roslyn, the term righteous lying, is actually known as "theocratic warfare strategy"
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  lonecat

  I faded over a period of roughly 3 years, so the local dubs did indeed stalk me, looking for something to D/F me for. I had a friend I grew up with that was D/F'd and she worked at a convenience store I frequented. I caught dubs outside on more than one occasion, watching my rapport through the window.

  I also had my own 2 sisters -both mind controlled Borg robots- going through my medicine cabinet looking for evidence that I was having sleepovers with the opposite sex. My own sisters! What a sh*tty thing to do.

  I had other local dubs asking friends, co-workers and acquanitences about my personal life in an effort to learn of something they could use against me. This went on for about a year after my final fade in late 1986 and until an elder came out to my home and I told him to make sure he let these people know if they didn't mind their business there would be repurcussions, and these would be physical if they were ever on my property again.

  What a sneaky, gossipy, backstabbing lot these people are. It's like little kids who can't wait to get home and tattle on each other. Pathetic.
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  Frannie Banannie

  I have a dear friend who is going through a hellacious time right now with some scary thoughts on such possiblities. He has sometimes felt that they might even be following him.

  Barbara, your friend sounds as though he has complex PTSD from his experiences within the WTS. Paranoia is a sure bet, because it's one of the symptoms. I'm familiar with this particular aspect of the healing process, because I experienced it a great deal after leaving the WTS. I was isolated and had no one to talk to, didn't seek counseling upon exiting the WTS for 7 years.

  I had written letters to the GB AND after my df'ing, I went on a letter-writing campaign, writing letters exposing the WTS scriptural shortcomings and mailing copies of these letters all over the world to all of the WTS branch offices. I felt that they might kill me, because my letters were probably doing a lot of damage. I snicker to myself about my imaginings now, but they were very real to me then and I was totally paranoid.

  It would be a good thing for you or your friend to peruse the "Best of....." section of this forum where Lady Lee has compiled a lot of info on the trauma that occurs to those exiting a restrictive religious cult and make copies of the info on these particular threads:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/4783/1.ashx

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/5386/1.ashx

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/7827/1.ashx

  Your friend might want to have a copy of the second post in the following thread ( http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/16/57203/1.ashx ) to take with him when he seeks counseling. The info will help him and his counselor to better understand what he's going through. And if your friend finds that his counselor is not understanding, tell him to keep looking until he finds one that DOES understand. Not all of them are in the psych field to actually help people.

  Hope this helps.

  Hugs,

  Frannie
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  rosalyn

  thanks for all the replies so far.

  After having a face to face conversation with this friend yesterday and later in the day, physically going to the location he referred to in our chat I realize that he is suffering from a paranoia or the such.

  We all know there are truly mean spirited people in the organization and they would be nasty souls even if they weren't JW's. But having the ORG behind them gives some the right to snoop through medicine cabinets, spying and the like.

  I remember the mindset. I checked up on a girlfriend when we were 17 years old and sure enough she was "being naughty".I never reported her but went to herself myself and appealed to her. She denied her actions. Ended up being publicly reproved and months later a baby arrived on the scene. She is a witnes in very good standing today(nasty piece of work she has become too)but I remember being very concerned for her spiritual welfare. It feels so good not to have to worry about someone's spirituality anymore doesn't it?

  What is even better is being free from most of the after effects?affects? I know we are never completely free of the damage but getting to the point in your life where you know you are doing better than you were 20years ago and then 5 years ago and that tomorrow will be even better. I love the feeling of having most of the bitterness gone where I am concerned. But I can get rather emotional when I hear what others are going through and just hope they can hang on. Because it really does get better....just takes a bloody long time sometimes.

  My friend has such a long way to go. Plus he was in a vehicular accident in the summer of 2003. Had no vitals when the paramedics arrived. Serious head injury resulting plus other physical things too. Still working things out with the insurance companies. And those stinking insurance companies could use a good ass kicking. I know they have to examine everything but sometimes it's plain ridiculous.

  For those of you who pray please do so. For the rest of you keep my friend in your thoughts.

  I do look forward to reading more comments and will be printing items off for my buddy.

  rosalyn