by prophecor 16 Replies latest jw friends
Would you be comfortable knowing that your co-workers, neighbors and or friends could find out so much about you, how you thought, felt and believed on so many issues? Could you let others who don't really have a clue as to who you really are, come here and look you up?
Would you consider it a good start for someone who wished to get to know you, to start here?
First of all, JWD is public space. Anyone can take the effort of reading our works here and find out what we really think. Keep that in mind when you post.
BUT, in developing a relationship with flesh and blood people, self-disclosure is a finely tuned dance. Reveal a little of yourself, wait for them to do the same. If they draw back and start talking weather or sports, that's a hint that you are demanding too much intimacy, too fast. Back off and start again. If, on the other hand, they progressively reveal more of their real selves, do the same. This way your personal selves are both protected and respected.
I would never approach a new friend and direct them here to find the "real me".
I don't know who I am myself, how could someone else figure it out? If any of you know please tell me.
Ken P.
Hello prophecor,Thanks for the interesting topic.
Seems to me Ex-Jay Dubs have more in common with each other than Jay Dubs have with each other.
Hello Buddy- Great and 100% true!
I think this is easily explained. Quite simply, we're being true to ourselves for the first time in our lives.
We didn't even realize it while we we're in but we were conditioned on so many levels to say, think, and do things because it was expected of us rather than because we thought it made sense or really came from our heart. I'm by no means saying we were faking or insincere in what we did. We just did so many things without thinking it through the whole way. Now we can be real and express our true selves. I think because that's so new to most of us, we may find posting here a little more exhilirating than would a "normal" person posting on a "normal" discussion board.
Nvr
First of all, JWD is public space. Anyone can take the effort of reading our works here and find out what we really think. Keep that in mind when you post.
True but unless we told someone we posted here and our user name they might have a bit of difficulity in finding us.
Interesting question. Since I tend to be pretty upfront about who I am and what I believe I don't think I would have an issue with anyone who knows me or might get to know me reading my posts. Though sometimes when I go back and read I realize how much I've changed and how far I've come, hopefully they would take that into consideration.
This is a place for growth and learning and anonymity helps facilitate that for people who have grown up with lots of shame and oppression. Hopefully, JWD is for outgrowing old ideas, for talking outloud and anonymously, if we choose to. It is public, but anonymity is important to many here.
Obviously, we would all post our real names here if we all felt okay with that. Much of what we discuss here, we discuss with strangers and much of it is intimate, personal and painful. I would not feel okay with everyone I know reading all of what I write here, especially on my drinking days.
Part of the reason for that is that I know my feelings (and your feelings) are not facts. How I feel today about a person or experience I share about today may change with time, reflection and by the simple act of writing about it here.
JWD is a place for sharing and catharsis with people who know and understand where I have been. Not many people in my personal, day-to-day life know all the details of my childhood, although they know the basics - that I was brought up in a cult and that my family is nutters. That's quite enough for every one else to know.
There are other things I share as well with the people I know personally, such as my atheism, but that's not something I wear emblazoned on my tee-shirts, although I'm beginning to feel that I ought to. I certainly don't discuss much of my liberal, feminist politics when working for conservative Republicans here in the deep south. There are a few things one learns not to do in the interest of not alienating oneself from income.
It is good to feel anonymous when discussing personal issues, such as familial abuse, guilt, shame, fear and such associated with being brought up in a cult.
I feel that what's here, stays here. It's public, but my name probably won't be, at least not on this forum.
True, Xena, but it always pays to be careful. Consider, for instance, an exiting witness whose PARTNER decides to join JWD as well. They better NOT have been flirting with other members of the board, if you know what I mean. Also, we have a couple cases a year where a teen has been a little TOO candid in their opinion of parents and authority, and their parents have found their account. Oops!
This board, in it's intimacy, gives the illusion that it is a private group of like-minded people, warmly welcoming. In truth, what we discuss here is open to the world.
Good morning prophecor!
I've been very open about who I am, but then I'm df'd and never going back, so as far as "exposure" to JW-land, I couldn't give a flip.
There have, otoh, been many posts that I had typed out and ready to go, which I didn't post, so as to not disclose potentially compromising information about other people, however inadvertently. In fact, even on JWD, my long-standing practice is to delete any personal information (caller ID's, e-addy's, things like that), unless I'm absolutely assured that they don't mind being "known."
Sometimes my trusting nature has disserved me...but, all said and done, the community of mutual support and understanding I've found on JWD (the only db I to which I post) is far more than worth the relatively minor disappointments I've encountered along the way.
Craig
"Obviously, we would all post our real names here if we all felt okay with that. Much of what we discuss here, we discuss with strangers and much of it is intimate, personal and painful. I would not feel okay with everyone I know reading all of what I write here"
Yeah! I wouldn't be comfortable with having people who know me read the things I have posted here - I'm open here in a way I can't be elsewhere, and even here it is threatening. I know that a dedicated snooper could find out our identities, but the ordinary person couldn't, or wouldn't bother I suppose. As for the government, who cares what they think?
That's a hard question to answer...
I think it may provide a good start at understanding a certain facet of who I am, but I wouldn't say that my posts here would be a sufficient substitute for meeting me face to face. Nothing beats the full "Richie Experience".
I think, to a point, it depends on how much a person posts here, and what they post about.
but that's just my opinion...
