How have appointed bros handled leaving the WTS

by Leander 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • rem
    rem

    Leander,

    I was in your position not too long ago. I got to the point where my conscience would not allow me to give certain talks, conduct certain studies, or place WT literature in field service. At one point I just stopped turning in my time hoping that the elders would remove me. For at least six months I didn't turn in a time sheet, but the brothers didn't ask me to step down!

    Finally, my father shared a letter of questions I wrote about the Society to my elders and they had an informal meeting with me. We all agreed that it would be best if I no longer served as an MS and my deletion was announced at the next service meeting. It was exactly what I wanted. Soon after that I stopped attending meetings. My wife and I are doing the slow fade out right now.

    My wife and I had discussed these issues way before all this happened, though. Even so, it still put a bit of a strain on our marriage, but we are doing much better now. I would suggest talking to your wife about your feelings before stepping down so that she can understand where you are coming from. I tried not to attack the WT, but simply explained that my conscience would not allow me to do certain things because of what I had learned (I couldn't teach about 1914 was a big one for me). Certain things just didn't seem right to me. After sharing these things with my wife, and after some time she felt the same way.

    I'm not sure what the standard announcement is anymore, but our P.O. just announced that I was no longer serving as an MS. The word "deleted" was not used. I was surprised.

    rem

    "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so."
    ..........Bertrand Russell

  • ISP
    ISP

    I'd work on your wife first. (I, mean you should!) You need to tell her a few things. You will need her to be on your side. At the end of the day you wanna ditch the whole thing, don't you? So you both need to walk away. Its going to be tough if your wife remains in it.

    ISP

  • Escargot
    Escargot

    Man, I know what you are going through! I was school Overseer and after reading Ray Franz two books, I knew I had to at least step down. I stated that I needed a change and that I was going to move to another hall hasta pronto. Nice way to get out of serving with no pressure.

    At the new hall, stayed low, worked on the wife (just brought out some of Brother Franz points now and then, it was so fun watching the light turn on with my Wife). Then after about one year, we DA ourselves....... Hang in there.......

    Erasmus (1520 AD): "If we want truth, every person ought to be free to speak what they think without fear."

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    I stepped down as a Ministerial Servant about three years ago.
    My excuse was that I felt that my other responsibilities (work,
    family, etc) were preventing me from doing the kind of job as
    an MS that I felt was needed. Therefore, it would be best if I
    stepped down, at least for a little while.

    The PO had a personal chat with me, encouraging me not to let
    anything affect my spirituality, so I assured him adamantly that
    I would not. Since then, we have been fading slowly.

    I guess the next step is to stop reporting time. I haven't been out
    in service since March, but I never miss a report.

  • bluesapphire
    bluesapphire

    Hi. This is how my husband did it successfully.

    One day he was appointed MS. He didn't want to accept it and had not been reaching out for it. He told them no. They pressured and pressured for a whole month and he finally said yes.

    Then he stopped going out in field service. Stopped turning in his time and stopped even going to meetings.

    It was really embarassing for the elders when the CO came around and they had to tell him that the one they had just recommended was inactive.

    We never heard if they deleted him or not. Don't even care! Just went on with our lives.

    I was harrassed a few times until they came over one day and were moded because the TV was on full blast and they knocked on our door for five minutes. The door was unlocked so I went over to the door and locked it. They heard me do it and they looked at the CO and left. Never heard from them since. They even know I go to another church now. Still haven't heard from them.

  • tell all
    tell all

    just tell the other elders that you will not be able to continue your responsibilites as m.s. or elder due to emotional problems then give them a note stating that, with your signature and date. if you don't resign your membership from the hall soon, you and your wife will be labeled as domestic terrorists and will go down with the kingdom hall titanic ship. look up the megiddo project report, the jws are considered apocalyptic cults.

  • Thirdson
    Thirdson

    Leander,

    I heard a CO tell a meeting of elders and M' Servants that we have to get our priorities right. Number 1 was ourselves, we needed to care for own spirtuality. Next came our families and third the congregation.

    You can step down/leave the position under the excuse of your own spirituality. Simply explain you are strugling with too many problems at work, are stressd to the point of being physically ill. (I bet that isn't far from the truth) Simply send a letter stating you need time to care for yourslf and your family, you are not setting a good example for the congregation and the congregation could suffer as a result. Say you resign your position because the responsibility is too great.

    I disagreed with the majority of the elder body over the way a certain matter was handled where the "good old boys" could let things go regardless of the treatment of others. In my letter I stated I could no longer work with the elder body and for the sake of the congregation I would resign. No other elder spoke to me about my decision but I guess they what they said in their letter when I moved was not particularly favorable. But by then I couldn't care and drfiting away was made easy.

    I hope this helps. Good luck.

    Thirdson

    'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

  • sleepy
    sleepy

    Leander

    Hi,
    I'm in exactly the same position as you at this present time.
    I've only spoken to my close family, well actuallt my wife let it out when we had them round for dinner, about my doubts.It turned into a very tense evening.
    Anyway I have been to a meeting in three weeks or been on the min for 2 months.
    I'm still an MS as far as I know.
    I'm hopeing they'll take me off soon as I don't really what a confrontation at this time.

  • metatron
    metatron

    Easy as pie! You are depressed! Write them a letter saying
    depression prevents you accepting any responsibility. Stop
    going out in service - don't give any talks.
    Do the same with your wife - take it real slow - years
    of brainwashing won't evaporate overnight.(I know!)

    As you may know, the Society announced some time ago
    that MS's and elders's are NOT ALLOWED TO RESIGN! This is no joke-
    check with your congregation secretary and he'll have the official
    letter in his file. They have to agree to let you resign.

    Arrogant bastards, aren't they? Remember you are depressed!

    metatron

  • Teirce
    Teirce

    Here's my useless opinion and hopefully you won't need it.

    Dude, the fact that you're afraid of cracking an egg means you're in tough shit, because I was in the same boat. Remember the line from that Atlantis movie? "Them guys are like the Lakota. They can SMELL fear!" I tried playing softball and requesting to step down about 3 fucking times. I'd be happy if it was only my impression, but what I got out of it was: You aren't permitted to resign if you have one iota of speaking ability, a vocabulary in excess of 60,000 words, or can form complete sentences. I did manage to drag my feet enough before I switched congs that they couldn't send a letter of recommendation, but the new brothers were all over my ass. My breaking point was nothing less than disassociating myself. They had too many Needs and just weren't having it.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit