Our son is in jail for a crime. My fam says its my fault for leaving JW's.

by ontarget 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    Dont let your JW family lay the guilt trip on you. I work in a jail, and I have seen plenty of JW kids arrested. An elders young son was arrested a few years ago for armed robbery. The son was disfellowshipped, but his elder father arranged to have the memorial emblems brought to the jail for them to pass around and deny. JW's arent exempt from committing crimes, they are just better at keeping them concealed sometimes. Try talking to your son, and listening to what he has to say, try not to be judgemental with him, but offer a listening ear. Find out if drugs were involved in this, and ask him what was going on in his mind when he was committing this crime.



  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    Obviously your JW family doesnt read the papers or they would see that the good brethren all around them are into trouble and sinning. The blindness is on their part. When I DAd and some nasty inlaws started treating me like crap, I was told "What do you EXPECT? You LEFT JEHOVAH! So dont start complaining and blaming everybody else for your problems! You BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF!"

    Yep...your leaving Jehovah has caused earthquakes, the hike in gas prices, global warming and probably Britneys shaving of her own head.

    Im sorry you had to find out what jerks your relatives have become. But hey...now you know and you wont have to lay in front of that bus again.

    Im sorry about your son. He made a couple bad decisions. Hopefully this will straighten him out eh?

    hugs, Loves

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Don't feel bad, and don't blame yourself.

    I think it is pretty rare these days boys don't get in to trouble just once with the law. Support him, but be firm. He probably would have been in a lot worse trouble if he was still in with the witnesses.

    Sending love and best wishes for a good outcome! (Parents of 18 and 22 year old sons!).....Good boys but bad on occasion!

    Take care.

    r.

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    ((((ontarget family))))

    Sorry to hear that. Forget about the self-righteous pricks and focus on seeing that your son gets the best legal (and perhaps medical) help he needs.

    (As a side note, I wish we could all learn to look at every young "criminal" the same way you look at your son now.)

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I am sorry, certainly painful,,but remember JWs are nothing more than "Job's friends" in spirit. There is no support there for any problems. They "shelf" everything in their simple minds. They quickly get rid of their own people if there are any problems, then turn around and state they don't have problems like everyone else. Such a lie! Maybe there is a support group of parents that understand truly and can be supportive. I hope you don't self-condemn, nobody got a perfect parent, most try to do their best.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    ((((((((((ontarget))))))))))

    A true friend is one in time of distress. I don't remember exactly anymore, but there's a proverb that goes something like that. I guess they don't even follow their own beliefs....

  • ontarget
    ontarget

    Just wanted to thank everyone for the support and advice. It is very helpful to know that thier are ones out there that care and support you in difficult times. We have wondered if there could be a possibility of bi-polar or some other mental health issues. Everyone that knew him before he moved cannot believe that he would do anything like that (teachers,friends,neighbors). I am going out to Sacramento to try and find out what is what and hopefully get him some help. Thanks again to all you wonderful loving friends (true friends in times of distress)!!

  • NowImFree
    NowImFree

    Hi Ontarget,

    I know exactly how you feel. I have a son who has been in trouble with the law and it has been heartbreaking for us all. We just recently found out he has bi-polar disorder, and has been misdiagnosed and treated with the entirely wrong medication for the past 3 years. Now he is on the right medication for bi-polar disorder but in the meantime, the damage was already done as far as his legal problems. It has been very stressful, and he has been very depressed with himself for getting into trouble and causing the family to go through this too. Just be there for your son, he needs you more than ever, and don't pay any attention to self righteous judgemental people. Most of us have done things at one time or another that could have landed us in trouble, but maybe we just weren't caught. Going through this with my son has changed me, it has made me much more compassionate about other people and their problems and it has also taken away any old judgemental self righteous attitudes that carried over from my previous JW days. And it has changed my son, he is now getting the help he needs and is taking his life and his actions a lot more seriously. Sometimes things happen for a reason.

    Hang in there, you and your family will be in my prayers.

    Nowimfree

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