Update- My fade and the elders inaction

by OnTheWayOut 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Here's the story in a nutshell.
    I stepped aside as elder in a foreign language congregation with a resignation letter in August.
    I cited doubts in doctrine concerning "This generation" and 1975, and also said I don't "know"
    the Governing Body well enough to teach their doctrine. The elders would not take action on the
    resignation until they got instructions from the Mother organization, but I turned over all my
    responsibilities then-and-there. One primary duty was maintaining territory for several counties
    that were worked in the language.

    The CO visited in October, the PO had to beg him to talk with me. He gave me 15 minutes of
    his time, saying he had a dinner engagement and had to leave. He told me I had everything I
    need in the WT Library to restore my confidence in the WTS and GB. He did not offer a prayer
    in my behalf, nor was he interested in listening to my doubts. He admitted that Mother's
    instructions to the elders was to "snatch me out of the fire." He was so rushed that I told him
    to go take care of the 99 and forget the 1 strayed sheep, I would be fine on my own.

    That same month, October, I turned in my first ZERO hours service slip, and it's been ZERO ever
    since, so this is the 5th month with no service. One more month, I will be "inactive." The elders
    have offered friendly chit-chat, but have not asked to speak with me at all. I have missed around
    50% of the Service Mtgs/ TMS and maybe 60% of Public Talks/ WT study. Since mid-January,
    I totally stopped going to the bookstudy- so it's been 6 weeks since I attended that at all.

    The bookstudy overseer has finally had other publishers ask me to come to the bookstudy, saying
    they miss me, and he, himself, followed suit today, asking me to come to the bookstudy, but
    doing so right as the meeting started, so I didn't have to answer, then not mentioning it again after
    the meeting.

    The territory for several counties was turned over in August in perfect condition, updated. The MS
    who just inherited the territories from the Service overseer showed me the mess he was given and
    asked for my help. I declined, saying that's a privilege the brothers wouldn't want me to have. I
    noticed that the territories have not been updated at all in the 7 months since I turned them over.
    Every pioneer is complaining to the elders about the mess they are in.

    When the elders do try to speak to me- I imagine it could happen before the CO visit (gotta clean up
    those reports) I will say "No thanks." When pressed for a meeting, I will say we need to set up an
    appointment, and I want my wife present for any discussion. I will try to make the appointment for
    a month or more away (they waited 5 months so far to "snatch me out of the fire" so my request for
    one month would be generous). If they agree to my terms, I will say I have nothing new for them so
    I will listen. After they say stuff, I will do my best to say "Thank you, apparently I am still on my own,
    you only approach me after months of inactivity. I am fine." Then I will walk out.

    What do y'all think? Any input?

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    You are a prime example of what is called "Brain Drain".

    They are loosing their best and brightest leaving them with incompetent buffoons to do the job. Brain Drain is affecting them at all levels of the organization. The more people who leave the worst it gets.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    "Brain Drain".

    I don't totally agree. I was a company man, not a great shepherd.
    They are company men, not great shepherds. I felt that I became a better
    shephard as time went on, but I read something in IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN
    FREEDOM. Ray said many elders are not spiritual shepherds, but rather they
    are spiritual taskmasters. They tell you to get spiritually strong by going in
    service more and being more regular in meetings. They tell you to do more, and
    things will get better. With the exception of the last year or so, I feel that I was
    just a spiritual taskmaster. I am more aware of that now that I see that they have
    no answers for me, and don't make time to listen.

  • Save My Soul
    Save My Soul

    Great JOB!!

    I do not think the org. will have anyone intelligent people left. Unlike Mormons, baptist, ect, they want educated people. The witnesses want dumb janitors that will do as they are told. Do you know of any others that have left because of doctrine? The assumption is always immorality in my area. Those that leave for doctrine disappear. You never hear about it.

    Congrats again!!!

  • MinisterAmos
    MinisterAmos
    I don't totally agree. I was a company man, not a great shepherd.

    For the most part that is what the Org is comprised of.

    The surest way to succeed in any Company is to CYA and let the rest sink or swim.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    OttO, I think you've done a jam-up job of fading, you ol' Apostabubba, you! I especially like the part where you told that taskmaster to go take care of the 99, you'll be fine....heheh Good job on everything in your story, OttO! And I think your plans for handling any possible "meetings" with them or a JC are spot on.

    Frannie

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    OTWO - there seems to be two camps that post here. The ones who the elders called on and "encourage" them to return, they seem stressed because they were chased. Then you have the others that say that no one called on them to get them to come back, they seem upset that no one chased them.

    I ended up moving because I was to close to the Hall I grew up in and the constant reminders either by running into people or people stopping by to encourage me was stressing me out. I moved to the big city knowing that the JWs from the burbs were frightened of the big city and used it as the present day Sodom and Gomorrah (sp?), so I was pretty safe in not being chased all the way in Chicago.

    I don't know it is like when an elder leaves. I am sure that to the higher ups it is more upsetting then just a plain jane publisher. But fight the good fight. Do what you feel you must and know that in the end YOU rise and fall on your own merits. IMHO, you already know what you want and are working towards it. I bow to your strength. I am sure it had to be hard, I felt that my removal was difficult and it was just me (jane publisher) and no husband or kids to worry about.

    Peace to you. L_G

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Thanks for the encouragement, guys. Fading, from what I have generally read, is
    usually slow and painful. I am trying to do it kind of fast, but hopefully carefully
    enough. I had considered totally stopping my meeting attendance immediately a
    couple of months ago.

    It's really hard to sit and watch the animatron-like Q&A sessions.
    "Why do true Christians go door-to-door preaching?" "Everyone knows
    that [paraphrase the WT, rearranging the words slightly to show everyone how
    smart I am to agree with WTS]."

    I have all my ammunition ready for teaching the elders what the Society is all
    about, but as you all know, they can't handle the truth. I am able to make some
    progress with my wife, and I am pretty sure she won't try to help them lead me
    to a JC.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    OTWO - there seems to be two camps that post here. The ones who the elders called on
    and "encourage" them to return, they seem stressed because they were chased. Then you
    have the others that say that no one called on them to get them to come back, they seem upset
    that no one chased them.

    I am aware of this discrepancy. For the record, in my case- I am thrilled that they take
    no action to help me. I hope that it continues. I only have to be "upset" that they take
    no actions, in order for them to see that I have been let down, so I no longer wish for the
    help of these men. "Leave me alone."

    As for the reason many are upset that no action is taken to "help" them, it is simply
    because (no matter what they want from the elders) these men are supposed to be
    God's princes on the earth, His spiritual shepherds to provide safety and refuge to the
    flock, reflecting God's mercy to the weak, and providing strength. What they actually do
    is tell people how to be better salesmen of WT literature.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    OTWO,

    I bet they do nothing. They don't want to touch you. Every time they think of you they're reminded of their own doubts. The C.O. cares about three square meals a day, no mortgage/rent, and all the green handshakes he can get and nothing more. You scare them crapless. Having said that, continue to take the high road. You'll gain nothing with confrontation.

    Realizing we've got lots in common,

    Tu hermano,

    Nvr

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit