a letter i wrote to the papers thats not being published..

by Messy 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Messy

    HI All: i am ok. im starting to return to my normal self again. the psych meds are helping me alot, although i am determined to get to a point where i dont need them. i am not a psychiatrist, so i will leave that up to him. this forum is really helping me.

    heres the letter:
    Attention Brian MacLeod, Don MacDonald, Wayne Chamberlain
    >c/o Sudbury Star
    >February 19, 2007
    >Please publish this letter for me. I think you will find it very
    >I am 25 years old, and work as a nurse in psychiatry. I am writing
    >this letter in behalf of my wife and her family.
    >Jessy was raised in a religion that will remain nameless for now.
    >She has had some interesting and excruciating experiences while

    >trying to leave said religion. I feel it is imperative that others
    >know her experience, with hope
    >of helping others in a similar situation.
    >To start with, her brother committed suicide two years ago, he was
    >gay and raised to believe that because of this genetic difference he
    >would never have God’s approval. His experiences while growing up of
    >being teased, called a “Jehomo” at school, and being shunned by the
    >kids in the congregation tortured him, as I read in his journals
    >after his death. Her father and step-mother, little sister and half
    >brother are still part of the religion and I hope more than anything
    >that this letter will bring them back into her life although I fear
    >the opposite reaction.
    >While trying to leave this religion, she stopped attending meetings

    >for approximately 2 years, and the elders from her congregation
    >started knocking on my door every so often, at my parents home where
    >we lived. When her brother passed away I told them to leave her
    >alone for a
    >while to grieve. They gave her 3 months of peace then started to
    >show up at our apartment and eventually at her job. Her co-workers
    >told me they would walk up the hall of the nursing home she worked
    >at in their suits and black trench coats asking for her as late as
    >10 PM, they knew she worked late. She started having panic attacks
    >and called in sick often enough that she was hauled into the office
    >for absenteeism. When we couldn’t take it anymore she agreed to meet
    >with them, knowing they would likely disfellowship her. Being
    >disfellowshipped in this religion means that EVERY
    member worldwide
    >is forbidden to speak to her including immediate family. They told
    >her she was going to be disfellowshipped not for fornication (sex
    >before marriage) but for a rebellious attitude i.e. avoiding them,
    >missing meetings (off the record of course). They said she was
    >forgiven for her sins but still
    >needed to be punished, to help set an example for the congregation.
    >They have no idea how much she suffered before, during and after.
    >They told her that the disfellowshipment would be announced in a
    >week so she had one week to “make things right in God’s eyes” and
    >marry me. The rush was necessary so that her father would be
    >permitted to attend our wedding. Her sister and her boyfriend (now
    >husband) also came.
    >Since then, she continued taking panic attacks everywhere, the mall,

    >the grocery store, walking down the street. Every time she would see
    >a member who used to greet her with hugs and love, we would instead
    >be given a cold stare, or no glance at all. While sitting in line at
    >the hospital, a close family friend walked by and gave her the
    >dirtiest look ever. This distressed my wife greatly who’s health was
    >quickly declining, all diagnoses related to stress. We had to leave
    >hometown to avoid such encounters.
    >Long story shorter, she had an ‘acute psychotic episode’ (nervous
    >breakdown) and was on a psych ward for 2 months. Afterwards she fell
    >into a deep depression and said she thought about suicide 24/7. She
    >is still having difficulty today but says always that she is much
    >happier than she’s ever been in her life. She is going through

    >counseling and has regular visits with a psychiatrist. She is on
    >some serious psych meds to help her with the insomnia, anxiety,
    >depression and other related illnesses. The psychiatrists are
    >working hard to undo the pain she’s suffered.
    >We live in Barrie now, we both work full-time and are living the
    >good life. She can shop now without looking around the corner. The
    >only thing missing now is her father, and siblings who are still
    >part of the religion. I write this letter crying out to them to come
    >back into her
    >life. Before being D.F’D she had the elders promise her they would
    >look after her father for me since she was always a “daddy’s girl”,
    >and the only one who was there for him when he spent his stint on a
    >psych ward. Last I heard from my ‘sources’ he hasn’t hardly left his

    >house in the last two years, and no one has stopped by to check on
    >him for her.
    >No religion should ever cut you off from your family. It is
    >unnatural, unchristian and downright mean. Thankfully “there exists
    >a friend sticking closer than a brother” as one of her favorite
    >scripture says. She and I have many new friends now, who treat us
    >like family. Her best friend of all, next to me of course, is also a
    >former member and they are working together to get themselves back
    >to a healthy normal state. She said that scripture always makes her
    >think of him. He is no replacement for her big brother, but he
    >certainly fills
    >a void. My parents treat her like one of their own, and she always
    >says ‘it’s nice to belong to a non-denominational family who hold
    >Christian values without
    being part of a religion’. I also know that
    >the elders will likely now announce that I am an “apostate” (or
    >anti-their-organization) and her ties to her family will be cut
    >forever unless they leave the religion too. So this letter is to say
    >goodbye for her as well. Since her father and sister aren’t
    >returning my phone calls or e-mails anymore, we feel this is the
    >right time to for her to say her last goodbye. “I love you Daddy,
    >Kiki, Jack McCrack, Katie-Marie, Bastini. Please don’t forget me. I
    >know I will never forget you.”

    i am going to post it soon.
    theyre not publishing it.
    i spoke to my dad and tried to help him. 5 hrs into the convo he told me love doesnt exist, its just man made. i told him how could you say that when your bible is man made. and it says GOD IS LOVE - so youre saying god doesnt exist? i am very sorry for you. and he hung up after saying he was just trying to show me my own foolishness. i know he said that because he truly feels that way. i will pray for him to find real love and love him from a distance. he is like poison in my veins anyway.

    thanks for continued support and correspondance. it feels good to know im not alone.

    ps im changing my handle since i realized that messy jessy grew up and isnt messy any more. it will be sister golden hair surprise after my favorite song by America.

  • sf

    Sister Golden,

    Welcome a-board....

    Well I tried to make it sunday, but I got so damn depressed
    That I set my sights on monday and I got myself undressed
    I aint ready for the altar but I do agree theres times
    When a woman sure can be a friend of mine

    Well, I keep on thinkin bout you, sister golden hair surprise
    And I just cant live without you; cant you see it in my eyes?
    I been one poor correspondent, and I been too, too hard to find
    But it doesnt mean you aint been on my mind

    Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
    Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
    Well I tried to fake it, I dont mind sayin, I just cant make it

    Well, I keep on thinkin bout you, sister golden hair surprise
    And I just cant live without you; cant you see it in my eyes?
    Now I been one poor correspondent, and I been too, too hard to find
    But it doesnt mean you aint been on my mind

    Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
    Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
    Well I tried to fake it, I dont mind sayin, I just cant make it

    Doo wop doo wop ...

  • winnie

    I sympathize wth you, and only wish that papers would publish letters like this. It may make others think twice before joining the jw's. I suppose they would have legal issues etc with publishing?

    Does anyone know if they would publish something similar if you paid for an add and took full responsibility for it?

  • Junction-Guy

    I wish they would publish it too. Perhaps if you shortened it they might publish it. Even though JW's arent mentioned in it specifically, it can be figured out just by reading it. Newspapers have no problem publishing articles that disparage churches, but they seem reluctant, especially here in America to expose Cults, especially JW's.

  • R6Laser

    Maybe it wasn't posted because there are stories like this all over the world and is nothing to hold interest. Or maybe because the world we live in everyone has a personal story that one can tell that will leave people wondering how can things like that happen.

  • sf

    Make them into fliers and PUBLISH/ DISTRIBUTE them yourself; door to door.

    This way YOU make sure it's getting to the public.

    And yes, I do this myself.


  • SilverNyte

    Hey, Sister Golden Hair Surprise. Love ya! Unconditionally.



  • becca1

    I'm glad you're doing better. Keep up the good work.

  • SilverNyte
  • hubert

    Maybe you should walk right into the publishers office and demand to know why they didn't publish your story? Maybe you need to add to the story that it is in fact Jehovah Witness cult that you are talking about, and ask them to put it into the letters to the editor column. Probably add some of the shunning policy info in the letter, too.

    Good luck with whatever you can do with this. Like Skally says, you can hand deliver it to people. Hey, if the j.w.'s are allowed to do this, why can't we?.


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