HI All: i am ok. im starting to return to my normal self again. the psych meds are helping me alot, although i am determined to get to a point where i dont need them. i am not a psychiatrist, so i will leave that up to him. this forum is really helping me.
heres the letter:
Attention Brian MacLeod, Don MacDonald, Wayne Chamberlain
>c/o Sudbury Star
>February 19, 2007
>Please publish this letter for me. I think you will find it very
>I am 25 years old, and work as a nurse in psychiatry. I am writing
>this letter in behalf of my wife and her family.
>Jessy was raised in a religion that will remain nameless for now.
>She has had some interesting and excruciating experiences while
>trying to leave said religion. I feel it is imperative that others
>know her experience, with hope
>of helping others in a similar situation.
>To start with, her brother committed suicide two years ago, he was
>gay and raised to believe that because of this genetic difference he
>would never have God’s approval. His experiences while growing up of
>being teased, called a “Jehomo” at school, and being shunned by the
>kids in the congregation tortured him, as I read in his journals
>after his death. Her father and step-mother, little sister and half
>brother are still part of the religion and I hope more than anything
>that this letter will bring them back into her life although I fear
>the opposite reaction.
>While trying to leave this religion, she stopped attending meetings
>for approximately 2 years, and the elders from her congregation
>started knocking on my door every so often, at my parents home where
>we lived. When her brother passed away I told them to leave her
>alone for a
>while to grieve. They gave her 3 months of peace then started to
>show up at our apartment and eventually at her job. Her co-workers
>told me they would walk up the hall of the nursing home she worked
>at in their suits and black trench coats asking for her as late as
>10 PM, they knew she worked late. She started having panic attacks
>and called in sick often enough that she was hauled into the office
>for absenteeism. When we couldn’t take it anymore she agreed to meet
>with them, knowing they would likely disfellowship her. Being
>disfellowshipped in this religion means that EVERY
>is forbidden to speak to her including immediate family. They told
>her she was going to be disfellowshipped not for fornication (sex
>before marriage) but for a rebellious attitude i.e. avoiding them,
>missing meetings (off the record of course). They said she was
>forgiven for her sins but still
>needed to be punished, to help set an example for the congregation.
>They have no idea how much she suffered before, during and after.
>They told her that the disfellowshipment would be announced in a
>week so she had one week to “make things right in God’s eyes” and
>marry me. The rush was necessary so that her father would be
>permitted to attend our wedding. Her sister and her boyfriend (now
>husband) also came.
>Since then, she continued taking panic attacks everywhere, the mall,
>the grocery store, walking down the street. Every time she would see
>a member who used to greet her with hugs and love, we would instead
>be given a cold stare, or no glance at all. While sitting in line at
>the hospital, a close family friend walked by and gave her the
>dirtiest look ever. This distressed my wife greatly who’s health was
>quickly declining, all diagnoses related to stress. We had to leave
>hometown to avoid such encounters.
>Long story shorter, she had an ‘acute psychotic episode’ (nervous
>breakdown) and was on a psych ward for 2 months. Afterwards she fell
>into a deep depression and said she thought about suicide 24/7. She
>is still having difficulty today but says always that she is much
>happier than she’s ever been in her life. She is going through
>counseling and has regular visits with a psychiatrist. She is on
>some serious psych meds to help her with the insomnia, anxiety,
>depression and other related illnesses. The psychiatrists are
>working hard to undo the pain she’s suffered.
>We live in Barrie now, we both work full-time and are living the
>good life. She can shop now without looking around the corner. The
>only thing missing now is her father, and siblings who are still
>part of the religion. I write this letter crying out to them to come
>back into her
>life. Before being D.F’D she had the elders promise her they would
>look after her father for me since she was always a “daddy’s girl”,
>and the only one who was there for him when he spent his stint on a
>psych ward. Last I heard from my ‘sources’ he hasn’t hardly left his
>house in the last two years, and no one has stopped by to check on
>him for her.
>No religion should ever cut you off from your family. It is
>unnatural, unchristian and downright mean. Thankfully “there exists
>a friend sticking closer than a brother” as one of her favorite
>scripture says. She and I have many new friends now, who treat us
>like family. Her best friend of all, next to me of course, is also a
>former member and they are working together to get themselves back
>to a healthy normal state. She said that scripture always makes her
>think of him. He is no replacement for her big brother, but he
>a void. My parents treat her like one of their own, and she always
>says ‘it’s nice to belong to a non-denominational family who hold
>Christian values without
being part of a religion’. I also know that
>the elders will likely now announce that I am an “apostate” (or
>anti-their-organization) and her ties to her family will be cut
>forever unless they leave the religion too. So this letter is to say
>goodbye for her as well. Since her father and sister aren’t
>returning my phone calls or e-mails anymore, we feel this is the
>right time to for her to say her last goodbye. “I love you Daddy,
>Kiki, Jack McCrack, Katie-Marie, Bastini. Please don’t forget me. I
>know I will never forget you.”
i am going to post it soon.
theyre not publishing it.
i spoke to my dad and tried to help him. 5 hrs into the convo he told me love doesnt exist, its just man made. i told him how could you say that when your bible is man made. and it says GOD IS LOVE - so youre saying god doesnt exist? i am very sorry for you. and he hung up after saying he was just trying to show me my own foolishness. i know he said that because he truly feels that way. i will pray for him to find real love and love him from a distance. he is like poison in my veins anyway.
thanks for continued support and correspondance. it feels good to know im not alone.
ps im changing my handle since i realized that messy jessy grew up and isnt messy any more. it will be sister golden hair surprise after my favorite song by America.