The Courtship from hell.......I started driving up to Rhode Island in September of 1972. I would go about every other week. I needed to "step down" as a book study servant, because at the time Daryl Christianson had come up with this brillant Idea that all the book study conductors should visit everyone in their own book studies AND everyone in someone else's book studies every 2 months.........So between, Bethel, and a part time "G" job, going up to Rhode Island and shepparding everyone in the book studies, it was just to much. So for the first time in my life, I declined a "privilege of service"........It didn't feel that bad......and in fact felt damn good.......Little did I know I was leaving one hell for another one.
What I 'm about to tell you...........is the absolute truth!..........we had 2 dates in a year and a half........that is TWO dates in 18 months.........."2" dates...........The only time they would let us be together with out a chaperone was in the field service...........The WHOLE courtship was spent on her parents couch in the living room......with one of them in the other room! I didn't know it at the time, but her mother's family had an old family tradition of getting pregant out of wedlock.....her grandmother did it back in the 1920's, her mother did at 16 years old with good old Bob in the 1950's, her aunts did it and most of her cousins did.............Elaine was convinced, that was were ALL her troubles got started, getting knocked up by Bob.................and she was DAMN sure it wasn't going to happen to Debbie..Poor Debbie was told by her mother that it was............ S.E.X..........that broke up her parents marriage too......Because Bob had SEX with another women............So SEX and the Devil go hand in hand......BAD...BAD...BAD...stuff.......but after you got married you could do "it" with your husband. After all, you HAD to give him his "dues"..........like paying a bill, you had to pay your sexual "dues" to your husband....... Sounds like real fun............It was the old "Just because I said I didn't believe in sex before marriage........... what would make you think I would after marriage?".........stuff.
One of the only 2 dates we went on was over to the presiding overseers house for dinner..........Elaine call him twice, while we were there, just to make sure we weren't having sex in the bushes outside......We had to call her when we were done too.........so she could time us going back to her house. Debbie had already lost one boy friend, because of her mothers bull shit .....He said "your mother is NUTS"......and left her.
They even called my Bethel elders, to see if I was good enough marriage material for their daughter..........I hated these people.I was going to show them...........These assholes and the ones at bethel too. No matter how hard they made it on me, I WAS going to survive....... I was going to MAKE IT.........I was willing to go through the gates of hell..........if I could just get out of there and get married to Debbie..........we would run away.........Her and me....... somewhere "theres a place for us...... a time and place for us............peace of mind and open air... wait for us ...........somewhere"........Happy ever after..........right?
She was the first girl I ever kissed on the lips..............I was 23 years old. We would sit on that old couch and talk about how great our life would be together..........we sneaked a kiss in, every now and then......11:00 p.m. Sunday night, I would jump in my old car and drive 3 1/2 hours back to N.Y.C........with aching balls. One night in the winter of 1974 at about 2:00 a.m. I feel asleep at the wheel on the New England Express Way going about 80 mph. and hit the guard rail.............bounce off it and back on to the road...........That my friends was the biggest wake up call I ever got..........It was about 20 degrees out......I rolled all the windows down and turned up the radio full blast to stay awake.............I just kept on trucking.
We got engaged in April of 1973...........We started talking about wedding plans with her folks. We said that we wanted a band.......they said "NO".........we said "we will pay for it"........they said "NO"........we said "we wanted..........some other things that we would pay for".........they said "NO"......They TOLD me "You, just show up on that day..........you have NOTHING to do with this wedding"......nice folks. I got out the bound volumes and showed it to "Gomer Plye"..........were it said "the groom is responsible for the wedding and reception!"................he said ......."NO".......I said "its here in the volumes".........he said "NO.......Elaine.......was running the whole thing HER way"
So I went back to bethel and went to Lyman Swingle one of the GB and told him what they were doing. He said "That until we got married they could do anything they wanted to us........but after we got married, Debbie would be in my household.......and I could call the shots then.......O.K. if that is the way they want to play it,...... FINE.................next time up there I had a little surprise for them......We were sitting around the dinner table and I said..........."Oh by the way..........since you guys have been such JERKS to us about this wedding...... we have decided to move to California afterwards!"...............They went NUTS......yelling and screaming..........They kicked me out of their house and told me "never to return again".....ah the love.