The New Watchtower Arrangement and Breakfast Cereal

by OUTLAW 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs


    In the near future there will be a Watchtower that only JW`s can read.What you don`t know is,only Jehovah`s Witness`s with secret "Decoder Rings" can read it.....As many of you know,all dead Jehovah`s Witness`s are being sent to the WBT$.Some will be stuffed and sent back to Kindom Halls.This will help bring up meeting attendance.The rest are being used in the new WBT$ breakfast cereal "Dub Puffs"..Jehovah`s Witness`s can get thier secret "Decoder Ring" by sending in 6 box tops from the new WBT$ breakfast cereal "Dub Puffs" and thier first born..Buy "Dub Puffs" by the box or by the case..Be the first to be able to read the Watchtower in your Kingdom Hall!!...OUTLAW

  • Zico

    I'm glad I'm not the first born!

  • SirNose586

    You know the cereal would keep longer than the average flash of "new light!"

  • lawrence

    You're right about the decoder rings, but they are only a start. To get through some of their convoluted interpretations ("meat" not "milk") one will need a set of Urim and Thummim, Aaron's budding rod, as well as a wifi line to a seraph. No joking folks, the "meat" might also require a gmail account to a cherub and the Prince of Persia, who was detained for 3 weeks.

  • AlmostAtheist

    LOL! "Dub Puffs"! Guaranteed to stay stupid in milk.


  • blondie

    Will the cereal be "Miracle Wheaties"?


    "Guaranteed to stay stupid in milk..???..Bwa-ha-ha-ha!....."Mircale Wheaties"..Good idea!..WBT$ could start a whole line of "Dead Dub" breakfast cereals..Jehovah`s Witness`s are anything the WBT$ says they are..Doctor..LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • greendawn

    You have a great sense of humour outlaw. The JWs will no doubt buy the dub cereals because they are the only cereals having the special blessing of jehovah.

  • dedpoet

    Outlaw, don't give them ideas!

    I can almost see them going for the idea of stuffing dead jws and sending them to kh's if meeting attendance continues to fall.

    And dub puffs - guaranteed to stay stupid in milk lol

  • Lumptard

    It's people! DUB PUFFS IS PEOPLE!!!!!!!....sorry, just finished watching Soylent Green

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