Why did the monkey lose the tennis match? Because he was playing against a cheetah!
The "Stupid Jokes" Thread
Did you hear about the lucky fisherman?
His wife had worms!
good ones outaservice and msDucket! Lonely sheep i know what you mean - i was in a class of 4 yr olds this week and they told me a joke but it was so funny and cute the way they told it (even though it didn't make sense to me!)
"How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?"
OK, this one is actually funny out loud:
(so where they would usually say Interrupting Cow Who? you interrupt them, get it? )
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:
What's green and flies?
you know it's funny.
My 4 yo son told this one to my boss, a senior partner in the law firm in which I used to work:
What kind of tick lives on the moon?
Three little Boys were concerned
because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been Baptized and didn't go to Sunday School.
So they went to the nearest Church.
But, only the Janitor was there.
One little Boy said,
"We need to be baptized
because no one will come out and play with Us.
Will You baptize Us?"
"Sure," said the Janitor.
He took them into the bathroom
and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.
Then He said, "You are now Baptized!".
" When they got outside,
one of them asked,
"What religion do You think We are? "
The oldest one said,
"We're not Kathlick, ...because they pour the water on You."
"We're not Babtis, .because they dunk all of You in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, .because they just sprinkle water on You."
The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water!"
They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do You think that means?"
"I think it means we're Pisscopailians.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. In effect this made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.