Husband to give wife's funeral talk

by ThomasCovenant 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ThomasCovenant


    A local elder is to give the talk next week at his own wife's upcoming funeral at the Kingdom Hall. I've been told he seems as happy as can be. She died from cancer and leaves behind 6 grown up children, youngest a teenager about 16 I think.

    Could someone please point me in the direction of the funeral talk outline?

    Surely he'll veer off it talking of his own wife. Would anybody stop him if he turns it into too much of a eulogy for her?


    Thomas Covenant

  • Crumpet

    As far as I know its not JW law not to talk about a person at the funeral. I just thought it was encouraged to use it as a time to witness to any non believers present about the hope of life after death - etc?

  • Poztate

    The scrip funeral talk is usually given at the hall. It has 5 minutes about the person and then rambles on about JW beliefs for the future. (Like a Free home Bible study? )

    I don't believe it is mandatory to have it that way and if family insists they can change the talk (elder willing) to include more of the persons life and less of the religious BS.

    Do not expect anyone (other than the elder) to take the stage and comment on the persons life (wife or family) It is a highly controlled WT event and they hate it when they can't control things.

    I refused to go to several close funerals of relatives because of this and also explained WHY when asked. The family was not amused...

  • MeneMene

    Here's a site that has the outline: There was another on JWD not too long ago but can't find it right now. The one above looks like it is the same.

  • Gopher

    At the last JW funeral I attended, they only talked 2 minutes about the deceased (my grandmother), and it was practically read verbatim from that little handout they printed for the funeral home.

    Here's the outline of the infomercial funeral talk:


    REMARKS REGARDING THE DECEASED (Use any that apply and are appropriate.)
    Details regarding age, birth, when married, and so forth
    By whom the deceased is survived
    Dedication record, including privileges of service
    Exemplary qualities displayed by the deceased (Eccl. 7:1)

    Worshiped Jehovah, the God of wisdom, justice, love, power
    Had faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12)
    Appreciated God's purpdse regarding earth (Gen. 1:28)
    Sure to be realized (Isa. 11:9; 55:10, 11; Rev. 21:4)

    Why good people die
    Disobedience of Adam (-Gen. 3:19; contrast with Genesis 2:7.)
    Offspring inherited deat6 (Rom. 5:12)

    Condition of the dead
    Soul is mortal (Ezek 18:4, 20)
    Dead are unconscious (Ps. 146:4; Eccl. 3:19; 9:5, 10)
    The resurredion hope
    Made possible by sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Matt. 20:28)
    Christ's resurrection a guarantee (1 Cor. 15:22, 23)
    God uses Jesus to raise the dead (John 5:28, 29)
    For the anointed, resurrection is to heavenly life (1 Cor. 15:51-54; Rev. 20:4, 6)
    "Other sheep" resurrected to life in earthly Paradise (Luke 23:43; John 10:16)
    Armageddon survivors can hope to see the deceased one again soon
    Others too are in line for resurrection (Ads 24:15)

    Can comfort the bereaved; loss is mutual
    Take to heart uncertainty of life (Ps. 90:12; Eccl. 7:2)
    Makes us think about how we are using our life

    While living, make good name with Jehovah God (Eccl. 7:1)
    Lay up treasures in heaven (Matt. 6:19-21)
    One way is to take zealous part in witness work, if qualified (Matt. 24:14; 28:19, 20)
    In this way and by godly conduct, we contribute to sanctification of Jehovah's name
    (Prov. 27:11)
    Resurrection hope an incentive to learn and do divine will(l Cor. 15:58)

    (Note: Instead of eulogizing the deceased, use the material in this outline to give a fine witness
    concerning the truth. Good balance should be observed in this regard. Doctrinal points can be
    presented as beliefs of the deceased, which served as motivation for him. Purpose of talk is to
    uphold Jehovah God as a God of love and mercy and at the same time bring comfort to the
    bereaved. Use of a song such as No. 102 (53) or 187 (93) is optional. A brief prayer at the close
    is fitting When arrangement is made to go to the grave, it is well to consider quite briefly the
    hope through the Kingdom, reading one or two scriptures, such as Job 14:14, 15 and
    1 Corinthians 15:5413-57. This service may also be closed with prayer, thanking Jehovah for
    the resurrection hope, which is of great comfort. The talk need not exceed 30 minutes.)

    Printed in U.S.A.
    S-3 11/90

  • mama1119
    Instead of eulogizing the deceased, use the material in this outline to give a fine witness
    concerning the truth

    Really??? Does it really say that???? It can't..can it?? IS this real? Thats horrible.

  • 95stormfront

    Every JW funeral I've ever saw went by that outline. It was little more than a few dry sentences about the deceased then on to the WT infomercial.

  • willyloman

    That's the way the outline reads, as I remember it. Yes, it does say that! Dub funerals are nothing more than infomercials for the organization.

    AS for the husband giving the "talk" for his late wife, there's no rule against it. But I believe it's pretty tacky and bound to make some in the audience uncomfortable. Why can't he sit and grieve like he's supposed to?

    I saw a father do the wedding talk when his son got married. He started off fine, then started to tear up and get emotional, next thing you know he was off on some story about something that happened when his son was a little boy. Everybody in the hall, especially the young groom, started to fidget. The father finally composed himself and went back to the outline. But it was the longest wedding talk I have every heard in a KH.

    The potential for similar disaster certainly exists in this case as well.

  • anewme

    Maybe he wants to give it himself to guarantee it is more personal. I hope so.

    If he does it straight from the outline that will be very creepy.

  • truthsetsonefree

    That is the outline. I gave it many times. No matter how humane I tried to be, there was no getting around the fact that it is as has been said an infomercial. In most cases, the funeral home's handout or equivalent is what is read. Sometimes the family will put something together about the person which is then read by the speaker. And sometimes the speaker doesn't even know the deceased since only elders (in some cases if the funeral is not at a KH servants) are allowed to give these talks.


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