I was baptized in Adelaide South Australia in 1983 and around this time my first wife and I , along with our small children decided to go to the Bethel in Sydney New South Wales as part of our holiday one summer. We camped along the way as we travelled the coast road from Adelaide and had a really interesting time and when we got to Sydney we decided to stay at a caravan camping ground right near Bethel ,so we did not have to travell far the next day for our visit there.
When we pulled in to the park and went to register at the office the two people in charge seemed to be very strained and distant when we spoke to them .We setup our tent and unpacked to settle in for dinner and on the way to the shower block I spoke to someone there for a few minutes and remarked that the people who ran this park did'nt seem too freindly. He then pointed out why, that day a man had killed one of his family and everyone felt nervous and upset because of this .
Of course I jumped into Witness mode as I was full of "the Spirit" not being long baptised ,but just got a blank stare and I knew I should not persue this any more - I feel so stupid now but I'm sure some here can relate to this blind faith enthusiasm as a chance to witness to the great god of the printing presses and think we can help heal all the troubles of the world!
This is the first part of a two fold experience because this was an upsetting experience and what followed the next day proved to be a disturbing experience too.
Remember this next day we were all going to Bethel on what was supposed to be an uplifting pilgrimage ,if you will, but what happened at Bethel the next day haunted me the rest of my witness days and even now, though now I probably understand more as to why I felt disturbed for all those years.
In the morning we got up and showered and dressed in our witness clothes and I was disturbed by what had happened at the park the day before ,but here we were going to gods house and we had extra reason to be glad to be witnesses did'nt we? All feelings of depression would disappear now as we were going to the holy Bethel and life is good right?
Wrong ,from the outset when we met the girl to guide us I had this terrible feeling of darkness,depression, overbearing weight closing in on me while the half awake guide told us about this and that . "And this is the MEPS computer for enabling gods people to translate for our literature much quicker blah blah.." and all I could see was piles of half openened boxes of computer gear lying untidily on the floor thru a window of a passageway with no lights ,and it certainly did'nt look like the brothers were enthusiastically putting all this brilliant software that the brothers had written and the business world was clamouring to get hold of to good use - no - all the hype we were told about it came crashing down in a heap at that moment and left me a bit perplexed. But we moved on and looked about and were invited to have a meal with Bethel family and it just felt cold ,and business like but without any smiles and getting complascent looks over the tables at us as if they were enduring us there.
I remember saying to my wife how I felt really uncomfortable there and could'nt wait to get back to our camp ,and that even in the Navy I had'nt felt that oppressive feeling of authoritarian pressure and judgemental weight and un happiness from the people there. Rather than feeling refreshed by being there , I felt worse now compounding the terrible news of what had happened the day before at the park .Things like this which should have served as a warning as to what I'd got myself into in that religion but I was to an extent already trained in thought to dismiss these gut feelings and reason it away as though it was actually me who had the problem.
All the time I was a witness thereafter I would never look forward to a CO or DO visit and would avoid any responsibilities as far as a MS could do because I could feel that feeling at Bethel always come back to haunt me ,I just felt there was always something wrong here. I did of course talk to them and over the years and witness with them, some CO's and DO's would even seek my advice on circuit and congregational issues for they would,nt get much help from some of the dickheads running the congos for they never shepherded and were completely out of touch with the needs of people. Well that's it ,did anyone else feel these things when visiting or staying at a Bethel? The murder at the park was a bad experience but it did not affect me as much as what happened at Bethel, I just mentioned the murder to contrast the feelings I had which were much worse at Bethel ,is'nt that something?