I'm new....and I have a rant

by Faded-out 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    Hi, and welcome!!

    Everyone else has already given some good ideas!! I love the "bribe the kid"!! Just wanted to say hello!

    shelley

  • needproof
    needproof

    Hi, Welcome to the board.

    It's not often that I have the patience to read a long post all the way through, but your thread read well and in parts was quite humorous. Counting on the fingers of one hand with most fingers missing was classic.

    The Society can be a real pain in the ass, can't it? Once it becomes a part of you, it will spread like a virus towards other people you know - soon enough, everybody is contaminated which leaves the leaving process extremely difficult.

    Having a kid in the situation makes it tons worse.

    The Witnesses claim to be a loving bunch of people, but in reality, they are a nasty bunch of gossipers. When I left, after about ten months, I watched from the window as they tried to call me (they only attempted a couple of times) and then, since they thought I was not in, I heard them congregate outside and gossip about my business. I mean, it was really obvious. You should have seen their faces when I slammed the window shut.

    There isn't a lot of advice that I could give you in this situation. I am so pleased you have discovered the truth about the WT and have read CoC. You have more power over this situation and these people than you may think. As a former Dub, you have the ability to know what they are thinking and about to say before they actually say it. You have been there, you know how their brains work (or not). Use this skill to your advantage.

    The kid is still young; you can turn her to the good side still. Do it subtly, dropping doubts into conversations. WT mind control goes a long way, but it can be broken, we can all testify to that.

    I hope it works out for you, I really do.

  • JimWood
    JimWood

    I agree completely with WOnce. If you put yourself on their radar you will get the ax dropped on your neck. So depending on the age, maturity and the depth of your relationship with your kid, could the treatment you receive by the borg give him/her some new light on what being baptized means. That is to say if you only request that this issue not be pushed until your kid is older, a simple request, and you get DF’ed how will your kid perceive this? Having three of our own we have gladly ‘taken the bullet’ so our kids are not in a cult. Play your cards right (including recording the JC meetings, where single party consent allows) and you can allow your kid to see what actually happens behind the scenes.

    For what its worth.

    Jim

  • mia_b
    mia_b

    welcome faded out! if you DO discuss with your child be very subtle. don't want the mind control to cause it to have to shop you. and under 12? WTF???

  • Cellist
    Cellist

    Welcome to the board, faded out. I hope you can put a stop to the baptism.

    Cellist

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I truly feel for you and understand your parental concern for your child. I am a mother of five (now a grandmother), and four of the five have graduated college and the fifth is almost halfway completed, none of them were baptized, as I left the organization when the kids were around the ages of your child. Their father, was mostly inactive by then, but still took them occasionally to meetings and would still try to preach to them pro-JW.

    Is there a way you could request and agree for your child to wait at least regarding the baptism, say another year or two? During that year, really grow in your relationship with your child, encourage your child to really enjoy just being a child, have a lot of fun, maybe encourage a sport program, possibly using that for the child to avoid a meeting or two, or a mutual hobby, having good friends at school, encourage this child to have a goal of college, as the child is so intelligent- compliment that as much as possible (asking what occupational interest there might be and that you will ensure you will do everything possible for the child to achieve that dream), often express your "unconditional" love and that God has that kind of love for this child also.

    Please keep us posted on your outcomes. Take care.

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    Welcome Faded Out!

    I hope you're able to fight your child's baptism. We're here for you!!

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Welcome.

    I agree with the posters that said be really involved with your child and develop activities like sports or a hobby to do together. Never down the mom as this will cause stress to the child and it will put it in the middle-a terrible place to be. I would also not down the WTS too much, either, as child will probably report back to mom anything you say. Just be the dad child will always fight to be with. Be the encouragement for education that child will not have from the Borg. Be the source of closeness and unconditional love.

    Check with your lawyer, yes, for recourses against the baptism.

    I know you will do well, because you care so deeply for your child.

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