Yes, I'm aware I don't need a KH to be moral. But I believe in Jehovah and his principles and the bible, so I think I do need prayer, study, and the responsibility that goes with saying your worship Jehovah in your heart.
What I am saying is that it does help to keep me level headed and reminds me of the need to try to keep my morality as it relates to trying to worship Jehovah.
One of the problems is I don't have many friends, if any actually. I don't come to think of it, I work and have those guys at work, but we don't hang out. I live alone.
I too have been surprised at some of the good decisions most human beings make. I don't look down on anyone for what they do, but I do disagree with some things that they do. But I've also known from experience people that you think seem good, but when push comes to shove they will choose themselves over anything else and what matters to them personally. And a lot of what human beings desire inside becomes greater because of choosing what we want first. And then it gets taken further, to say cheating, drinking in excess, hurting people, even killing.
I mean, I've hung out with all kinds of people, I was on the sailing team in college and that was one of the greatest experiences of my life. But it was one giant excuse to party, but I was able to keep myself thru it all. I never did something I thoght would have been wrong, never did drugs, never slept with anyone I wasn't committed to. But people around there were doing all those things and worse. Does it make them a bad person? I don't know, maybe. They might have good intentions, but our actions define what our hearts really desire. So I also don't think we can just excuse peoples behavior. I mean a lot of people in the Bible say like David, he was torn over what he did, it didn't make it less wrong, and he suffered consequences for it. How many people do you see that torn at heart over the things they have done? Crying out for forgiveness over it. I see a lot of people who seem like they don't think that anything is off limits and you should do it all and not care let alone feel bad over it. So should there be consequences?
Who knows, I'm not god, but I know what I think is wrong and what I think is right and if someone asks me I certainly wouldn't shy from telling them what I think or excusing someones behavior. That's my whole thing, if I was ever to leave for good, what would I become? I know a lot of witnesses that have left that turn to all kinds of behavior that would be wrong for anyone thinking rationally, I don't think it's fair to say "well they were restricted for so long and they are just acting out" I just think if anyone were to leave make sure you intend to live a good life and not just be angry, or be hurtful, or just try to get yours because you feel so taken advantage of for so long.
Anyway, that's how I feel. And as far as therapy, I'm kinda a cheap skate, so I would rather get it out this way. My insurance I don't believe would cover such a thing, maybe when I have more money, or something along those lines. Or can anyone recommend something that might be cheap, say less than hundreds of dollars an hour?