FTB, I've been in your situation. I know how tough it is.
I tried for years to get my wife to sit down and talk openly and honestly about my concerns about our religion. She wouldn't do it.
One time I raised a particularly difficult issue (mind you I was an elder for over 20 years), she walked away from me with her hands over her ears shouting, "I'm not listening to any of this!"
In retrospect, I realize now that that moment was the end for our marriage. We continued to live together for another 6 or 7 years, but we were essentially little more than roommates; although we did continue to "keep up appearances" while at the meetings.
Eventually I left her. I do regret that I couldn't figure out a way to reach her and get her to wake up, but I would still do it all over again. The only things I'd do differently would be to resign as an elder without any explanation to my fellow elders, quit going to all meetings and then I'd have separated and eventually filed for divorce.
Your own individual integrity is just too important to live a fake life pretending to be someone you're not for the sake of people that would drop you in a second if they really knew how you felt and what you believed.
Hang in there, make an exit strategy and keep moving forward!
I wish you all the best,