How to get my kids out

by SaneAgain 18 Replies latest social family

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Whilst children are young there is a good opportunity to show by humour that what appears to be true is often a deception. In other words an important lesson for childhood, which is filled with innocent trust, is that authority and appearances must nevertheless be challenged.

    Growing up has to include saying “no” even to adults sometimes. So it is very helpful for children to enjoy the experience of being kidded on by a parent and then allowed to discover for themselves the reason why something was deceptive. Hard to think of an example at the moment but I do remember when out walking in the countryside I picked deadnettle (not nettles that have died but a plant which looks like real nettles) and lashed myself with them for they have no sting. My son had to think really hard to determine what was happening because he couldn’t do it without getting stung until he realised that deadnettle only resembles the stinging ones.

    The Borg want to deny non JW parents their right to guide their own children...I've been there and its horrid.

    Perhaps JW children ought to be confronted with the grotesque demands of the Borg. Why are they so insistent in wanting to destroy the thinking ability of the young in their midst? They only want slaves, not thinkers.

  • TheFadingAlbatros

    Hi SaneAgain,

    I fully understand what you are going through now. Not easy, but not insoluble. It will take some time for you. I will come back and tell you what has happened to me before and more recently. But I will have to make my say more complete so that I can give you useful information. It will take me one, two or three more days because on one hand English is not my mother tongue and on the other hand I will have to collect useful information out of my brain, my heart an my own experince to help you to realize that a difficult situation today can turn into an easy one tomorrow.

    Thanks for reading SaneAgin and I will come back soon to help you, because I undestand you must get help.

    All the best.

  • Oubliette
    Your best bet is to teach your kids critical thinking skills all the while promoting a very positive and healthy self-image. If they have a strong and clear sense of self and are taught to be independent and self-sufficient it will be harder for the cult to keep its hold on them.
  • TheFadingAlbatros
    Dear SaneAgain,
    I was about to tell you about my own experience but I will not do it. Not at all by fear to be recognized, as I am no more, since a very short time, belonging to the JW org,, as I have decided to "officially" dissociate myself.
    If I give you more information about my own experience I will have to give you details about my wife and daughters, about their privacy life. And I do not want to do it by respect for them.
    Anyway let me tell you that only through true love you will get the love and the respect of your children back to you in due time. Love (with hugging and kissing) and some appropriate material sacrifices are always appreciated by children. Only your efforts will help your children to make the difference between true love and cult manipulation.
    Let me repeat it: a difficult situation today can turn into an easy one tomorrow, ...or the day after tomorrow.
    All the best and take care.

  • Viviane

    I want to emphasize what everyone said about critical thinking skills and being a good parent. I have been DFed for about 5 years, my children are teenager and almost teenager. I focused at first on being a good parent. When they were worried that I was going to die at Armageddon I simply said "I'm not going anywhere for now, let's deal with that when Armageddon comes."

    I took them to movies, made sure that at least on either Saturday or Sunday morning, instead of service and meetings, we went out for a pancake breakfast or to the park or on a hike, something fun but always wasn't "bad" in the JW eyes.

    I also let them watch a few things they couldn't in their father's JW house, letting them know I had no problem with it and when they are at my house, I have my rules and their father has his BUT that doesn't mean they run wild and do whatever they want.

    I also taught them critical thinking, a love of science and learning and how to play the "what is more likely" game. We used critical thinking figure out why other religions are crackpots and slowly applied that to Bible in general. Once we were at that point, the bottom fell out for any hope their father had of them being JWs.

    They've seen LoTR, The Hobbit, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Walking Dead, have had and been to birthday parties, etc.

    Remove the fear JWs instill and replace it with love and knowledge.

  • kairos

    Welcome to increasing sanity.

    I'll help you in any way I can.

  • Oubliette

    Viviane: "I'm not going anywhere for now, let's deal with that when Armageddon comes."

    That's pretty fucking brilliant!

    Viviane's strategy of doing fun things with your kids that aren't forbidden by JWs is a really good idea too. While I don't advocate the strategy that many parents adopt of being the "Disneyland Dad/Mom," showing them that you are a completely normal person living a fulfilling life is huge. It just is.

  • jwleaks

    Welcome SaneAgain. If you can identify the country you live in then this may help people in tailoring their answers.

    For example, if you live in New Zealand then this would help you:

    NZ High Court Ruling Stops Children Attending Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Hall

  • zeb

    You have a pm.

    and love them. Give them useful conversation. Useful books (with pages) praise and my fav. hobby stuff.

    and at their age early to bed with big cuddles before they go not wt horror stories.

    attend school meetings PTA etc to show support and interest in the school and in the kids.

Share this