Demons Demons everywhere, let every person watch and beware

by onacruse 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Paralipomenon

    Demon1: 'sup Satan how's it going?
    Satan: Not bad, those pesky witnesses still defying me 'n stuff
    Demon1: yeah, that's gotta be annoying, say got any new assignments today
    Satan ruffles through some papers.
    Satan: Hmmm, not much. It appears all the good "smurf" possession jobs are taken
    Satan: I do have a position for possessing a watch? Want it?
    Demon1: Aw man, a watch?
    Satan: Think of it, it'd be great! You can change time so people are late for meetings!
    Demon1: Pffft, I bet he'd throw me off a bridge or something.
    Satan: Bah, what are the chances?

  • frozen one
    frozen one

    I have a second cousin who heard from a friend who knows someone who met this guy who swears he heard it from a high ranking source...whew...that if you play a recording of someone saying the word "internet" backwards you will hear a demonic voice proclaiming, "All hail Satan who is your master. Satan is the true Lord over all of you. Evil is good and good is evil. Bow to Satan. BOW TO SATAN!!!"

    Scary stuff. Stay away from the internet.

  • sspo

    According to some witnesses if you are constipated, you're being attacked by the demons.

  • PopeOfEruke


    thats really interesting about the constipation! And do you know their is a solid biblical basis for claiming that Satan is behind all constipation? True!

    It's in the book of Revelation where it states "Satan was bound for 1,000 years"!!

    Now that's a bad case of being constipated, don't you agree??


  • greendawn

    One of the biggest frights of the JWs is that the world is almost totally under demonic influence and this idea can become an obstacle to many that wish to leave the org. In fact the average person in the world is no more demon controlled than the average JW, only those that actively seek contact with the demons are under their total influence. And of course it's a myth that demons can appear in our world and directly act upon it. That they can never do.

  • crazyblondeb

    This is really funny!! A couple weeks ago, while I was gone, my mom took an elder and went into my place. They removed anything that looked wiccan, or "demonized". I heard they burned it. I hope the stuff screamed and hissed at them.

    I can only imagine the stories they will share. Wonder if it'll make the assembly experiences?!?!? LOL

    Crazybb (of the demonic-possessed class!)

    my mom took an elder and went into my place. They removed anything that looked wiccan, or "demonized".

    I can't believe they are still doing stuff like that!!! LOL! Sorry about your invasion of privacy!


  • tetrapod.sapien

    apostates are demon influenced.

    how do you think they explain why people leave?

    the demons creep in... through what orifice i have no idea.



  • Leolaia

    All three are from the same issue:

    *** g35 11/20 p. 116 British Empire ***

    The Contemptible Work of a Demon

    In the London Dental Gazette is an account of a dental operation performed by F. St. J. Steadman, D.P.H., L.R.C.P., M.R.C.S., L.D.S., on a lady who visited a clairvoyant before the operation and was told the only hour the operation could be performed as 9:30 a.m. on a Monday, that the dentist would insist on having his way about the removal of the impacted tooth, and that she would die in the operation. All worked out exactly as forecast, except the operation was a complete success and the woman recovered. It was apparent that in this case the demon was familiar with Dr. Steadman's memorandum book and knew the hour he would and did select. All else was meanness of the basest sort.

    Fire-Walking in Britain

    Unwilling to learn anything from the Bible a flock of British scientists built a pit filled with seven tons of oak logs, one ton of firewood, one load of charcoal and ten gallons of kerosene, and after it had been burning for eight hours, and the surface heat was found to be 800 degrees Fahrenheit, they saw Kuda Bux, a young Hindu, walk the length of the pit, pausing fire seconds at each step, and emerge unscathed. This happened at Carshalton, Kent, and was a case of demonism, pure and simple. Two British medical students who attempted to emulate the feat were severely burned after a few steps and had to jump to safety.

    *** g35 11/20 p. 124 Roman Catholic Fascism ***

    Probably Pushed by a Demon

    At Kitchberg, Austria, a Roman Catholic priest was praying in front of a statue of the virgin Mary when the statue fell on him, knocked him unconscious and crushed his right hand. The probable explanation is that a demon (or the evil spirits found in the overindulgence in "communion" wine) pushed the statue from its foundation.

  • PEC

    apostates are demon influenced.

    Why would they bother, Satan already has us. Demons are only after jws because they have the "truth"

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