Got home from the meeting the other day and couldn't stop crying (page 3)

Thanks so much all you guys for your kind words. I'm very wary of going to a therapist.

I work as an engineer, I don't know if my insurance would cover this and I also wouldn't want to give the impression at work that I'm not professional. I know it might help but I'm just unsure for now.

The very difficult thing is I live alone in this town away from my hometown. And I really don't have any friends. I'm wanting to go back to school here for my masters, there is a very good engineering school here and my job would pay for it. So I have been planning to do that. That would be good.

I wasn't what you would call a traditional witness. More like a liberal witness, I went to college, played sports in highschool. I was on several societies in college. I was on the sailing team, which was great fun. I got to party and be young and stupid and get in crazy situations. But I never once comprimised what I believed in, even though it would have been easy to have all the sex one wanted. Especially with girls drinking way too much. But I just wanted to have fun and I did. Sailing was awesome, it's great on a clear day out in the sun with the wind blowing in the sheets.

I mean I just got involved with her right after college and before I knew it my world shrunk. She started picking off friends, limiting my going out by myself, cutting me off from family. And I let her all because of how she knew me so well, it seemed like it was right. That's so surreal, because she cheated on me, but I never restricted her life to try to protect myself. She always worried about me having other friends she didn't know, or hanging out for drinks.

I still have hobbies, so it's not all bad. I exercise, I like to box, I also am working on investing money which is quite a bit of research, and being by myself it's surprisingly difficult to take care of ones self in this world without someone working with you. Like your parents help when you're a kid, then you get married and you help eachother. I never thought about it too much, but I have it all under control for the most part.

I'm surprised that I have all my bills auto payed, I take care of my health, dental, etc. My car I keep up on regular maintenance, organize my place by myself, clean, do all the laundry. I know I'm 25 and a man and should be doing these things, but if you knew me growing up you'd think I would never make it by myself.

My friend Dan (who is a witness, but he's been my best friend for a long time). He's always told me he's never known someone like me who can just see something they want to do and get it done. So I guess I do have things that I can hold onto, call mine and feel a little better.

What a journey this has been. A tale full of sound and fury I guess.

Got home from the meeting the other day and couldn't stop crying

GetBusyLiving

JamieL

Share this