Got home from the meeting the other day and couldn't stop crying

by JamieL 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • JamieL
    JamieL

    I know everyone here thinks it's probably a waste of time for me to keep going to meetings cause I'm disfellowshipped. But I go for my own reasons, I explained these a while back when I first posted on here.

    It was getting towards the end of the meeting and I just couldn't stop thinking about her. My ex.

    My best friend, Dan, text me a while ago and made a joke that made me feel a little better. He's a JW, but we are like brothers so he contacts me sometimes and it makes me feel a little better.

    But I got to thinking about him being my friend, and her, and everything. I just couldn't get over how I felt then. She just, she knew me so well, inside and out without even having to try it seems. I just think about Dan and how all these years, not him, any of my friends, my parents ever knew that I got molested by my brother. I mean, I know I can act, and play everything off. But still.

    It never occurred to anyone why I set myself up for jokes? How I try to act so confident when I know I'm not? And I will let everyone joke about me just so they can feel better?

    But she did, that first time we were together, both virgins and so scared. And when it was over she was holding me, and we were talking, and she saw right threw me, and just asked me point blank....I knew I loved her right then. She looked right in me and knew how hurt I was, and knew exactly who did it to me. I can't describe the expression on my face...like someone found out about your worst secret but at the same time relief that you didn't have to come out and describe such a horrible thing and at the same time joy that someone could know you so well.

    I guess I was upset how no one understood why I was ever with this girl. I mean, she put me thru hell later on, and cheated on me after I asked her to marry me and she said yes. And I removed myself from being a JW cause I felt like such a hypocrite. I never thought it would be this lonely that night...when I was with her. But to have someone know that one thing about you. that you hid so well from everyone, and she accepted me at that time and never once judged me for it. Held me close, told me not to cry, that I was beautiful.

    Man, she ripped me inside out at the end. She told everyone she could what happened to me, that I was a fag. Who could say that? I was 10 years old and got forced to do things I didn't want to. She told everyone that I was a freak...everyone she could.

    I used to never cry when I was growing up, I never cried about what happened to me or anything. I only ever really cried when I was with her that first night. Now sometimes I cry, but I have gotten so good at the art of holding back tears, I know how to bite my teeth down so hard that the tears draw back in my eyes, and I swallow that slab of pain and let it slide over my throat.

    But I was just thinking about how alone I am, and how no one I know personally understands this or me. And how I don't think I will ever be with someone again unless they can know this about me without me having to say it. Just that moment, that feeling...

    Sigh. I guess it's not that bad. I mean I cried and I felt a little better and went about my day. I wouldn't say I'm neccesarily happy, or depressed. I have hobbies, I exercise, my life is in order except for my spirit. I feel numb to everything. I think actually, I'm kind of vile inside. That's probably why I don't pray, cause I allow myself to be vile and I don't want to have Jehovah listen to prayers from someone who does what he wants without regard.

  • Do Not Call
    Do Not Call

    So sorry you're having a rough time JamieL.

    Here's a big hug: ((((((JamieL)))))

    Hope things get easier for you soon, sweetie.

    Love DNC XXXXX

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23

    Wow dude... what a tough burden you have been carrying around. Anyone in their right mind would completely be able to understand why you are emotional and having a tough time - you sound like you could be an expert at experiencing tough times. One day at a time, man... Are you attending meetings because you intend to return to the cult or are you going for the purpose of mending family ties so that you aren't viewed as someone on the outside?

    Also, have you ever thought about seeking professional help from a counselor or psychiatrist? Especially is this important if you feel like you are a danger to yourself or someone else. Try to breathe, think rationally, and be patient. Read the posts on this board for comfort and closure. We feel for ya... some of us have been there too... - and we wan't to hear some good updates from you.

  • collegegirl21
    collegegirl21

    I am so sorry for that. That is not a good feeling to have and sometimes you just need to cry to let it all out. There's nothing wrong with that. We are here to listen! ((((hugs)))))

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    Is your brother still around and is he a JW?

    Outaservice

  • Rebirth
    Rebirth

    Aw Jamie, I'm so sorry that your heart hurts so bad. I totally understand why! You need to talk to a therapist. You've got so much inside that needs to come out in a SAFE environment. You can talk to us, but we aren't professionals plus we don't know everything about you and your style of handling things.

    I was able to LIVE because I started therapy. I would probably be locked away right now after the year I've been through. Therapy literally saved my sanity. Being a JW compounded by being a victim of childhood abuse is not something to carry around on your shoulders.

    Please get help, and keep talking to us here, we'll listen and support you.

    ((HUGS))

    Rebirth

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    Hugs to you Jamie....You have endured so much, and it just isn't right. I am sorry. Hang in there...and I hope you are feeling better.

  • Satanus
    Satanus
    and we were talking, and she saw right threw me, and just asked me point blank....I knew I loved her right then. She looked right in me and knew how hurt I was, and knew exactly who did it to me. I can't describe the expression on my face...like someone found out about your worst secret but at the same time relief that you didn't have to come out and describe such a horrible thing and at the same time joy that someone could know you so well.

    This same type of thing happened between a couple here. She also helped him raise the memory to the surface. He will post about it, if he wants. Don't feel too bad about her going and telling every one about it after afterward, and not understanding. It sounds like, while she has insight, she is young, inexperienced and maybe there are a lot of maucho people in your area, and maybe she needs to blend in w that.

    S

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    I go to therapy too. It really does help. I would be a nutcase without it.

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    So sorry for the pain you are going through. IMHO though, the worst place you should be going is the KH. They don't have anything to offer in order to help you. You'd feel so much better going to a counselor and working through YOUR issues!!! The WTS is only concerned about what you can do for them. JW's don't have a clue when it comes to helping overcome abuse issues...

    Swalker

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