I found this note:

by Sparkplug 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    I had started to post this a long time ago and I thought better of it. I ran across it last night and was again reminded of how absolutely kewl this poerson I wrote to is. I have edited the information that made it too personal to post and would like to share.

    A little background is that I was terribly wronged and this teacher stood up and fired a man who needed an ass kicking too IMO regarding his treatment of me as a student. It really was the first time I have seen someone with no vested intrest in me stand up for me and well to tell you the truth...with the way the world works...just do the right thing.

    I have this box of letters never sent. It contains notes of thanks or explainations to people that I cannot send them to because of death or perhaps circumstances...or my own fear prevents me. I plan to make them all into a book and keep it anonymous someday and well......here is one that would have been in that box, but I ended up sending it.

    I have kept this box for years and as I get older I find I dont have as many going in this box. I end up telling people exactly how I feel. You would be amazed at the response and the people I have gained back into..or just into my life. I wish it were this easy for our family and friends that are JW.

    "Hello XXXXXXXX

    I am writing this in place of a letter for the best teacher award we were admonished to write. I felt to nominate you especially when you are my current teacher would be a bit apple polishing. I also write this because I have all these things that really are perhaps some of the meats in the learning process that adult graduates may be afraid to admit in such raw and unabashed terminology. When a person believes what they speak of, the reaction is phenomenal.

    I hope that your night brings a bit of peace and relaxation to you. Get what you need to get done and don't worry about having changed the appointment for study. I too have spun in a million directions and I have so many questions I thought I should formulate a list. So I did and then I drowned in a backpack of lists. Death by Post Its! The extra few days allow me a bit of time to organize my thoughts. Then perhaps I should go see what I can answer myself instead of taking the easy route.

    So on a note of honesty, I have to come clean. I would not offer this information had you not noticed a change and awkwardness in my behavior last week. I was prepared to fight a ton of bears and climb huge mountains and do something profound, you know, really make an impact on the world as I prepared to drive home after the last night of US Constitution class. I could just hear myself accepting the award for humanitarian acts as I take a space in the list of great people that have changed the world. For just a moment I was Rosa Parks and my feet hurt. I was, as her pastor Addams spoke, going to stay seated so that others may rise.

    It was your manner of unconventional teaching gave me back the interest, motivation and joy that I allowed Mr. xxxxxx to take from me. Then you told me of firing Mr. xxxxxxxxx and I actually was pretty drugged up on medicine from having been sick, so I thought it best to refrain from talking until I felt better. Who knows what will come out of my mouth. Here it is. I must confess I cried all of the way home. (Not over xxxxxxx) The first reason is totally unrelated to his evil self. First I noticed you had an arsenal of medicine that it seems you have to take on a time schedule. I had this fear and panic rush through me after observing this. Please do not take that statement as an overdramatic psychological syndrome, it is just a prelude to understanding my being shaken up so extremely hard. An adjective of sorts. I have a few friends that carry such bags and it is not good at all. They really have to fight for most every day. Some are ‘family’ and have to endure terrible diseases that permeating our world. They struggle each moment, even as I write this. Another is faced with brain cancer and tumors on his spine. Children I know have diabetes and have to adjust the whole way they will live to satisfy the illness. These are very humbling situations that constantly keep me grateful for all I have. I have lost within the last few years the closest and most life impacting people I had in my life. In this loss I found an awareness of people’s plights. It is not for me to ask you questions and not for you to have to say anything. Just know the absolute concern for you that flows in my thoughts, coupled with one very selfish thought that I am not done learning from you.

    Now I am going to get really smarmy, so bear with me.

    Have you ever had a thought so horrible that the mere presence of it can make you feel physically ill? I cried till there were no more tears and yet my face would still not stop going thru the enactment of sorrow. It may have been the medicines or the experience of the very first time justice was shined in my corner, or I am just a worry wart…but I truly lost it. For I feel that you are a person that most anyone would be privileged to know and learn from. There are so many awful people in the world that it just broke my heart to think that you may have to deal with any of the health problems my friends do. You possess a skill in your capability to stir up the good stuff in people. This is apparent when people in our last class could not help but respect and actually enjoy you in spite of the straight laced, corset like outlooks they have diligently maintained; polishing each brad in their arguments and opinions till the only thing they can see is their own reflection. Your character stands tall and bright. So do not forget that when you are drowning. You make an impact, I am sure; on someone everyday you are on the face of this earth. Even by your absence, people will be affected.

    Had you seen how deeply I let him, Mr. xxxxxxx, get to me, you might have an appreciation for how much I needed to see that there are people in the world that "DO" listen. You heard all of us and did not take it lightly. To tell you the truth, I can not recall seeing that happen... ever! I was in shock, and thus my reaction. I could not believe my ears and I was trying to hold the full force of emotion from coming to the surface. I was for once given an example of doing something right because it is the right thing to do. This was improved upon by the fact it was done by someone with no vested interest in my life. What people preach, rant, and spout for the sake of the business world is often just talk. The veneer of political correctness they shalack on for the sake of the position they hold is striped off the plank immediately upon exiting the public eye. That is my sore point. The thing that gets to me and makes me loose all shreds of common sense I possess. Hypocrisy! It will make me behave as if my sensibility knob is stuck on, ' Actively stupid.' All the lectures and classes that are given to us every day in so many a forms seem to be only a shell to cover a disgusting mass of deception. I hate it when people of such character cloth themselves in their cloak of unfounded self righteousness.

    People have so many motives for things they do; usually having duped even themselves into buying the brightly colored capes they weave. I was forced to face the way I had internalized most everything that had ever raked on my last nerve. I happened to get to see a film on the experiment of the blue eyed and green eyed children. In that alone I saw how deliberate certain actions were done to make a person feel insufficient and unimportant. The whole cycle was self fulfilling. ‘You say that I am bad so I must be. So I am bad and you are proven true.’ It opened my eyes to my own reactions to people’s wrongful deeds. It was a new dimension into a characteristic I had taken as strength for so long. I now had a paradigm shift and I saw that my giving, turning of the cheek and “being a bigger person,” had made me the perfect victim.

    The hardest thing I think for a person to do is to actually not just fix the surface but to delve deeper and replant the soul. This is a journey I have been and remain on. This is a chore I started to attack with fervor as I ventured into this school. I have not really devoted my all to classes, but I have devoted all of the classes to myself. Even Mr. xxxxxxxx validated my theory on respecting a man by his merit and not his title. I at times watch as I get bulldozed over by the mental leaches in everyday life. Often I have felt that in order to succeed; there must be a sellout of values. This creates a quandary in my sense of what is right. I have fought to stay on that less traveled road, not for the eccentric oddity of it, but because I have this conscience that will beat the shit out of me as soon as I become cognoscente of any errors I make in analyzing my own motives and actions. Throughout all of this I have had some terribly humbling experiences and with each bit of knowledge I gain, although welcome and needed, there is opened up so many catacombs in my mind that were never filled. The more I learn, the less I know.

    The allotted parameters I thought would be filled as I gained knowledge have, much to my surprised been moved. Boundaries that my mind had set up as being “the goal” are taken out of the equation as I see how much I do not know. I do not believe a skunk knows that it smells. It is a skunk and that is what it had always done. I am finding myself bound by kindred spirit with that skunk. I sit as a demon upon my own shoulder arguing about all the injustices that are poured as hot tar upon the underdeveloped countries of the world and their lack of education. I play devils advocate with myself, just to discover that I too, am underdeveloped. So here I sit, just my skunk friend and me, stinking, and both of us painfully aware we need a bath. We did not know we stank, let alone we had all these parts. Now we find these parts have names and that there are different types of soap and the list of unknowns continues on and on.

    How does one know what questions to ask to get maximum benefit out of a study if he did not even know the study existed? How does a person choose a cause to pledge to when so many are now laid on the table for a smorgasbord of mentally stimulating delicacies? How do I concentrate on one subject when everything causes me to run around the learning table like Helen Keller?

    There was a time that just the awareness of my stench would have mortified me. The best part of this whole learning experience to me is the skills and tools I gained without enrolling in an actual class. I feel that I have attained a tidbit of knowledge that is priceless. I find in my quest for justice and parity amongst the people, that I had chosen a path and rallied for a cause that had no solution. There is not a defined fix. Furthermore the actual awareness that there is a problem is a good portion of therapy. The whole center of my thoughts tonight is this: There is no wrong nor shame in being stinky. The shame or degradation of a person’s spirit happens when one gives up on the fight for improvement. Tonight, my proverbial skunk and I are going to take a long, hot, bubble bath and ponder on the thought that maybe a bubble bath helped the creativity input into the Bessemer process.

    That is all."

    Overall you can see my ADD kick in, but what I am trying to say is tell the people you feel inclined to what they may be waiting to hear from you. Send these letter before it is too late. Don't wait. You may be amazed!

  • Undecided
    Undecided

    Very profound thinking and feelings. I couldn't write such a letter as I don't have feelings that deep and what others do don't affect me that much, or maybe I haven't been shot at like you have.

    Ken P.

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    Sparkplug cool letter and you just know the receipient must have been deeply touched. I have a friend that says so much is not said at the moment it should be said and I think this is along those lines. And it is a reminder to all that life is short and we should not hold back from letting those who touch our lives in whatever way and for however long know our feelings for them.

    Fifi

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    undecided~ If you have that baby gal in your arms...surely you have had some deep thoughts. children do that to us. Bring out the inner stuff. Vocalizing is hard though. I myself have a very hard time getting points across in person. Better in writing.

    and Fifi~ Getting it out when the urge comes is often best. Most times it never hurts to spread some love or thanks or apologies.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    Ok...portions of another note...different person and this was sent also...but it was in regards to a JW sibling and the changes that go on when you stand up to them. It also relates to opening up and letting people in. (edited of course) Hope it has some sense in it. I wrote this when I started hanging out with you apostates. lol

    To set the scene, he decided to move out of my home because I went out with a friend to the movies who was an ex JW. Here goes nothing...

    "I think my brother is afraid of how you put it in perspective about your relative that is a JW...Like if he pays any attention to the motions he goes through he will have to see how utterly mind controlled he has been. My brother is not one to deal with emotion, so I think he fears that and will not even face it. It is like that small shred of his definition of morality is all that keeps him going.

    He hemmed and hawed around and then let me know that XXXX was different because she been around for all this time. He is afraid that if I keep talking to you (heaven forbid) I will do things like have summer picnics, and have holidays together...you know bad stuff like that...ooh or worse you will come over and watch movies. I actually stopped my tears and looked at him and said, Oh like I do all my friends? He bellowed,"not while I am here." I just looked at him and shook my head. I think He actually got a moment of that veil being lifted off his eyes.

    He actually mentioned about Jehovah being brought up in this house and how I am not going to put the witnesses down on his time. He called or alluded to something or another about us sitting around and moaning and groaning because we got in trouble. I said do you really think that is all we do? I told him he made it more in his head than I did and that the only time Jehovah is mentioned to him is when he tries to put it onto me. And that he expects the old me to just take it. I am as offended by him bringing Jesus F***ing Christ into my life as he is by me calling the witnesses dried up bags of bones….from their own words. That he always brings it up was something he had to admit. He did. Then I have the matter that me writing to you about it kind of makes me feel like that IS all I do.

    Then I get mad because...hell its like they programmed that into me to. If I have the need to talk to another human about my tears...well then that is wrong. It is defaming someone or spreading gossip. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST ADMIT THEY NEED EACH OTHER? Yes it seems that in this society the ability to cope without the help of anyone is what most strives for. I don't want to be like that. I think by my life I have shown when no one is here I can survive....big F***iNG whoop!! It just means that I can be a lonely old coot. With all of the sarcasm I can muster....Check it out everyone…I am a strong woman and I can do it...There are you flabbergasted? Don’t you think I am all I am supposed to be now? I really get upset because it is like they had.. I said had…made me feel guilty for being offend. That is too trite of a word for that instance but the best I could come up with.

    So, here is what I am trying to say… I just am so tired of having to wait till the appropriate time, etc...Or anything to say I care. I don't expect you to live by this, but I can tell you now while watching XXXXX dying in that bed, or hearing XXXXX through the phone because he had too much pride to let me see him...that all they can say is they have looked at things wrong and that really I had the key the whole time. Now, then I over analyze and think that they are just trying to leave me something tender to hold onto seeing they are going to be gone…but I don’t hear them telling anyone else in our group and children the same things. In fact they told some to take an example from me. I want to scream…don’t do it. You will have to bear so much hurt. Strength, tenacity, and oneness with oneself, responsibility till it kills and all of the things that go along with the strength part are not what they are referring to. xxxxxx told me it was my ability to love. I really cannot hate most anyone. And ones I know to stay away from…I still do not hate. I just don’t love them. I may hurt from them, and if that means I care…so be it. I care way too much for everyone and it seems like a lesson in futility, but at the end of the day…I look at my brother and he is lonely and hurt. So lonely and Hurt.

    I look at me and I am hurt, and for a good 34 years I have been lonely but though it leads to a lot of hurt, at least I am living and it is like trying to make an invention work. There is disaster after disaster and yet at some point you get a finished product. The people who never try for fear of failing at the end of the day have nothing They never get anything. They are dead…but standing. BIG WOOP. I may have a pile of shit baggage ….BUT somewhere in each pooplet, there is someone, or something so great that I found. Now I wait for someone to choose to love me. Not be obsessed with me like the wierdos..but a real person who can look past all the idiosyncrasy’s and unpolished rough edges that I have and understand I am a person of change. I want to learn different and I want to make up for some of the things I missed out on. Sure I cannot bring back all of those wasted years but I can live now. I see people say…”What, you can’t bring it back, “I say…”SAYS WHO? It is like I said…They don’t try for fear of failing… (Sarcasm) I have learned to guard my heart some….and I hate that. It is comparative to taking away my innocence. I guess I took on the guarding when I saw that I may choose to be free spirited but my kids have not. And I never want to make them “endure” their mother. "

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    Oh and so you all know...These are older. I am settled on a lot of these subjects. lol

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug
    Then I get mad because...hell its like they programmed that into me to. If I have the need to talk to another human about my tears...well then that is wrong. It is defaming someone or spreading gossip. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST ADMIT THEY NEED EACH OTHER? Yes it seems that in this society the ability to cope without the help of anyone is what most strives for.

    So has anyone ever wondered about that? While being a JW...they even take away your right to cry over things. You can be the one wronged and you have to stay quiet and not make a stir....

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    I idled away a few moments and this is for you Sparkplug :-

    It is a second in time, a moment to choose

    The words can come out, win or lose

    Something dear that you want to say

    Something that is lost on another day

    And in that moment you make the choice

    You stay silent or you find your voice

    Stand up and be, or fade and walk away

    Black or white, no room for shades of grey

    Someone you love and dare not tell

    Easier to hide in your emotional shell

    A friend with whom you dont always agree

    You dont speak up but avoid their company

    Not asking the question for fear of being a fool

    Having no knowledge but looking cool

    The person you see being abused

    To get involved, or not, you have mused

    It takes a second in time to start a change

    To widen your horizon, broaden your range

    It only takes a voice to say the thoughts in your head

    Courage, not to wake and think "I wish I'd said"

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    It takes a second in time to start a change

    To widen your horizon, broaden your range

    It only takes a voice to say the thoughts in your head

    Courage, not to wake and think "I wish I'd said"

    FiFi...I think I like how you think. A LOT! Cant believe you read all this prattle. you wrote this above?

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    Yep..........I should be in bed, its 1.15 here but I fell asleep this afternoon after a bit of a heavy night last night and now I am wide awake and my creative juices are churning (That and the fact that husband is playing on Sniper Elite) But we do both have the day off tomorrow so its not to bad.............

    Take care

    Fifi

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