reproved but my elder dad and spiritual mum keep me at a far distants still

I am saddened to hear about your situation. I'll tell you that there are many here who were once in a similar situation and they have many words to help you better understand the organization that you are a part of. As for me, I remember when I was reproved and many in the congregation approached me after the meeting and offered words of support and encouragement. I have to say that not all people are bad, just most are being misled and have been blinded to the truth.

..truth.ceeker..

pauledwards

thank u so are you a regular at the kingdom halls?

bigmouth

Hi Paul. Welcome to the forum. So what's going on at home?

If you are still wanting to return to the meetings but want to talk here it may be wise to use your real name. There are many lurkers who would be thrilled to dob you in to the power brokers.

Cheers,
Pete

bigmouth

Oops! I meant may NOT be wise to use your real name.

pauledwards

whos bothered mate got nothing 2 lose.no i dont want too go again,why would i want too be brainwashed and listen too the gossips at the back of the kingdom hall.do you still go mate?

bigmouth

No, the last time I stepped into a hall was about 6 years ago at my mothers funeral.

It's taken me years of therapy and hard work to get on top of feeling worthless for never doing enough study, field service, prayer etc. etc. You know the story?

I've managed to get my wife and kids out now.

willyloman

Your predicament is another example of how the WTS uses terminology that purposely confuses the rank and file and then does nothing to clarify... it's as if they want the publishers to err on the side of judgmentalism.

The average dub is totally confused about the terms "reproved" and "private reproof." If you handed out a pop quiz at a KH and asked the brothers to choose definitions, even a mutiple choice text (in which anyone has a 25% chance of getting the right answer), the responses would be mixed.

Most dubs believe there are levels of reproof, i.e., private reproof is what you get for doing something sort of bad, but public reproof is when you do something worse. Those who believe this also think disfellowshipping is the final level of discipline, applied only when your head starts to spin and you projectile vomit on the judicial committee and start speaking in Satan's voice during the hearing.

The truth is, there are only two findings: repentant, or not.

Once that's established, there are only two options: reproof or DF.

And once it's established that reproof is sufficient, the only decision left is: What kind of reproof, public or private? Which depends on the circumstances (above).

If you read the society's own fine print: Private reproof is the reproof elders give when the person is found "repentant" and no one else knows what he/she did. Public reproof is given when the person is found "repentant" and others know about the incident that led to the JC. DFing is what happens when the elders, all qualified mind-readers and trained psychologists, don't buy your story and find you "unrepentant."

Your parents don't understand their religion's own teachings. If you are repentant, that's good. They should be ecstatic. Bring out the fattened cow, call all the relatives, throw you a party. But, in their misguided view, you have brought shame on the family and the congo, and God himself, and that's unforgiveable. To everyone but Jesus, anyway.

Woodsman

Its a judgemental religion where the members are not happen unless they do more judging than Christ himself. If they have their way there will be no need for a judgement day. Jesus can just ask them what they have to say.

vitty

willyloman

You are right in what you say. What I could not understand is if you are repentant why do you lose certain "privileges" like answering up?

Why is not all forgiven ?

reproved but my elder dad and spiritual mum keep me at a far distants still

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