Anybody have a three year old??? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

by mama1119 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  Xena

  Ditto on the ignoring the tantrums and giving her praise when she does behave well. You might also want to spend some time alone with just the two of you...I know it's hard to do when you have a baby but probably part of the reason she is acting up is she misses her time alone with you that she had prior to the baby showing up.

  On the ballet thing, some kids just aren't ready for it until later. It's a very structured environment, my daughter started at 3 and took to it like a duck to water but my niece didn't get into it until she was 5. Her mom tried earlier but she just wasn't ready to concentrate on it.

  And just remember 3 doesn't last forever...pretty soon she will be a teen.
• 

  GoingGoingGone

  I think that when a new baby comes into a 2 or 3 year old's life, it's such an upheaval in their world that they go ballistic. Showing them love and giving them attention are good, but they need the security of knowing that the same rules apply that have always applied. (One reason why they'll behave at Grandma's house and not at home.. nothing's changed at Grandma's.)

  When my son was about 2 and a half, we moved from the only house he'd ever known... He kept saying that he wanted to go home. Then he started with the tantrums. I felt bad for him, so I went easy on him for a while, until I understood what was happening with him, really. The next time he had a tantrum, I stopped in my tracks and looked at him in my best stern/shocked look and said that that behavior would NOT be tolerated!!! He straightened himself out immediately... and I had no more problems.

  If you didn't allow tantrums before but are allowing them now, your 3 year old might feel insecure in addition to whatever else she's feeling. Let her know that the same rules apply.

  Don't know if this will work for you, but good luck!

  GGG
• 

  Lady Liberty

  Hi dear!!

  I cannot believe that precious little cutie is guilty of such things!! Oh yes..but she is three!!! Terrible twos, Terrible threes, Terrible teens. It will pass!! Just stay consistant, and don't let her know she's getting to you. Like others have said here, she is doing this to get your attention. Even if it is bad attention. Yet when she realizes you will walk away and ignore her, that will confuse her, because she won't get a reaction from you. I remember a funniest home video clip where a little boy about two was throwing a crying fit on camera. He would throw himself down on the floor, the camera guy would back away out of site, and instantly the boy would stop the fit, was completely quiet, found the camera and started the whole crying , throwing himself down fit again. Again the camera moved out of site, the little guy picked himself up..quietly, no crying and found the camera only to repeat this over again. It went on for about 7 or 8 times. Showing, these little squirts know exactly how to push the attention buttons. It was really funny. So hang in there. I know this isn't funny now, but when she is all grown up and has her own child, you will get the last laugh then! Ha Ha Ha!! Call me if you need to vent...anytime dear!!

  Love ya!

  Laddy Liberty
• 

  wozadummy

  Some good advice here but it's always different giving advice to someone else and having to go thru it yourself with your INDIVIDUAL.

  Having grandchildren myself and seeing what goes on is really a door to the past and reminds one of how difficult it is to raise children .

  Never one to hit much I did though get to appreciate a certain Tupperware soup ladle spoon which became a symbol in the way of a reminder that continous bad behaviour merits a visit from Mr spoon. Hardly ever used it was a mighty persuader with just a little flick - other objects used like the hand can be dangerous especially if weilded with anger, but a little stingingflick does the trick.

  Some children like my daughter needed concerted effort to assert whose in control and she spent many times in her room with no toys to think about her behaviour. She was and is at 28 still a handful (thank god for patient sons-in-law) ah but when they have their own children that is when they have to face their past - ah sweet justice.

  My daughter in law is amazed at how I can handle her childrens behaviour , but all it is is practice and a realisation that they will grow up and it sure is great when they do and thank you later for all you've done for them!
• 

  troucul

  I don't care what anyone says. If timeouts don't work, a firm slap on the bottom will always do the trick. Just don't do it when you're angry. Have hubby or dad do it.

  At some point, depending on how big they are, you won't be able to do it. They might hit back. And then kick your ass.
• 

  Heather

  I know every child is different and although my 3 year old doesn't through bad tantrums and found something that has worked for me. My two youngest are 18 months apart. My 3 year old would throw himself on the floor and cry loudly. My hubby and I would take pictures of him while he was doing this and show them to him later and ask him if he looked mean or nice, ugly or pretty, kids his age can be great at manipulation. He understands alot of it...this helped or when he was throwing the tantrum i would hold a mirror up on front of him and say "your scaring mommy"..."see your scary face".. can you look in the mirror and show me a nice face, then we can do something".. Sometimes that works and sometimes you just have to ingore it. most kids that age want a purpose...want something to do. At the grocery stores here they have the mini carts that you kids can push.... if you have those give her an incentive..."mommy will let you push your very own cart if you can behave". Or find her little jobs to do... We have a kids size mop and broom and dust pan....my 3 year old loves to use these to help mommy.....let her know she can help the baby by sitting close and singing a little song. Any way... i hope you find something that works... i know how exauhsting it is to have a baby and a young one. take a deep breath and make sure you get to have your own time to yourself every so often.

  Summer
• 

  jgnat

  Ahh, the terrific threes. This is the time to set boundaries. When she finds out that bad behavior only results in SHORT mall trips, CANCELLED fun, and NO treats, she will calm down. You can then follow up, though, when she does manage to be "good" for a few hours at a stretch.

  Your toddler is acting hateful because she's WAITING for you to show her you are in charge. She desperately WANTS to know that you expect her to be a good little girl. In her inarticulate way, she may be WONDERING if she can be good. Teach her she can. Don't disappoint her.

  1. Make a plan for yourself on how you will deal with each of her behaviors as they come up, before it happens.
  2. Have a set of tools and tricks ready to use. You can use time out, a quiet room, reward systems, stickers, and so on.
  3. Pick one behavior at a time to work on.
  4. Sit her down and explain what your expectations are, and what the consequences will be. This can be very simple. I started bringing candies to the mall with me. I said a little speech for my children before we went in. "If you are good, don't grab anything from the shelves, stay by my side, and no screaming, you will get THIS. If you DON'T, we will stop shopping and go right home. Do you understand?" Two little towheads seriously nodded "yes". A few times they tested this out to see if I would make a scene in the middle of a mall. I didn't disappoint.
  5. Regardless of the potential embarrassment or inconvenience, follow through.

  http://www.familymatters.tv/level_4/parenting/boundaries.htm

  http://www.parentguide.com/parents/behavior/toddler-boundaries.html
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  carla

  Some really good advice here. I thought 3 was worse than 2 any day. In a restaurant if they started up and making a scene I would literally throw them over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and go outside. The other patrons appreciated getting a crying kid out of there and were usually amused. Calm as could be I would walk through with a squirming, crying kid. Once outside once they settled down they could go back in. Only had to do that about twice I think, they never did it again. If they know ahead of time what shopping will consist of, groceries, clothes or toys there is no fight. Some days they just don't 'get' anything, it's just shopping for necessities. Temper tantrums at home? Pick them up and let them go nuts, only in their bedroom though. As long as they are safe. They soon realize that with no one watching the tantrum loses its appeal.
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  mama1119

  Thank you everyone for your advice and great ideas!!!