Nosferatu's School of Dating - Lesson 2.2 - Building Rapport

by Nosferatu 26 Replies latest social relationships

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  J-ex-W

  Neil Strauss (aka Style) mentioned something interesting in his book. When a man is able to easily attract women, he will not resort to rape or suicide to "fix" his inability to attract the opposite sex.

  HOO!!!! Neil Strauss has no idea what rape and suicide are all about. Rape is not about sexual attraction, it is about violence--control. Rape is all about usurping power/ control...suicide is all about extreme loss of power/ control...both in the superlative. Neither balanced. Approaches that are balanced avoid extremes, period, so--yes--in that very B-R-O-A-D sense, what Strauss said could be considered true. As in the 'he threw the manure and hit the side of the barn''-sense, it could be true.
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  serendipity

  Great comments J-ex-W. They mirror my thinking to a great extent.
  
  Patting someone on the head is condescending. Don't do it.
  
  And if you try to get too familiar too quickly, that will make the more reserved women uncomfortable.
  
  Of course, perhaps not many reserved women will be the easy pickup targets at a bar.
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  J-ex-W

  Great comments J-ex-W. They mirror my thinking to a great extent.

  Serendipity---------I love you...especially as Stevie Nicks...my kinda woman! --Wish I were gay.
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  LittleToe

  The level of "personal space"-invasion that you suggest is likely to get you a kicking if you ever try it in Scotland, and probably many places in the rest of Britain, as well.

  Just my geographical 2p.
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  JamieL

  Nos,

  I applied some of your previous lessons today to talking to strangers. It worked pretty well. I was shopping for a coat rack at Bed Bath and Beyond and I found a door hook one (you hang it over the door has hooks on it). So I'm goin to the register. I've also been workin on eye contact, I tend to hang my head in conversations. I got this whole I'm not worthy to talk to other people in normal conversation complex.

  But I walked right up and made eye contact, said hello, how are you. Another girl comes up to the counter that works at Bed Bath and Beyond and was like "Girl I got a bone to pick with you" and she was like "Really, right now in front of a customer?" paused for a second, and I said "I don't mind girls, go right ahead." Girl behind the counter says "Really? You Don't" I said "Who knows, it could be fun to listen to."

  Anyway, just a short conversation. But I got a smile and it was good practice. I wasn't at all interested or anything, but I was practicing being conversational with strangers. I so want to be that person that everyone looks at and goes, man he's fun, he's so likeable, he's like gravity, everyone is drawn to him.

  But it felt good. I don't talk to people much and a live by myself.
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  J-ex-W

  JamieL-----------Good for you!!!
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  troucul

  Rapport building never ends...I mean never!