Lack of gatherings means the congregation only exists in the Kingdom Hall

by truthseeker 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseeker

  This is the situation with my congregation and I wonder if it is the same with yours.

  As many of you know, the Watchtower is not known for organising social gatherings of any kind for relaxation or enjoyment.

  Many of us only come into contact with witnesses while going to meetings and going out on field service.

  As soon as you leave the hall, the congregation ceases to exist, in my mind anyway.

  When you go back to the hall, the congregation exists, but only for the time you are there.

  Think about it - you spend 2 hours sitting and perhaps 10 minutes talking during each meeting. If you have no friends in the hall that you see on a regular basis, then you feel like you're on your own until the next meeting.

  My point is this: For those who still go but are not invited out anywhere, particularly if they are fading, do you feel that the congregation only exists in the Kingdom Hall?

  For me, I have almost no social contact with the dubs except for the few brief minutes before and after a meeting. When I Ieave the hall and go home, it all disappears - except for the control they have over my wife.

  Do any of you feel like this?

  I think if the WT actually made the effort to organise social gatherings, then the congregation would exist most of the time outside of the meeting arangements. Even the Israelites had their festivals. But, JW's do not even have ONE day where families come together for thanks/celebrations.
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  mrsjones5

  a virtual congregation - yeah I get it.
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  Qcmbr

  I dimly remember the 80's when it seemed that there was little life outside my congregation (and I loved it) people were closer and less bothered about stuff. Now we struggle to get a good turnout at activities and even though we are much better at organising good evenings or outings my heart still hearks back to dances with toilet paper drapes, hikes where the best prepared walker had trainers and a baseall cap and the thrill of ten people squeezed in a rusty mini doing a car rally. Yes, the congregation is getting further away but then so is my own family.
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  hamsterbait

  i rarely see or talk to Dubs apart from at the Hell. Even then I find few can be bothered with me - some elders just walk past.

  Fortunately i have a support network of loving and supportive worldlings, otherwise i would go mad with loneliness. In the last 20 years I can count on one hand how many witlesses have invited me to socialize with them at their home.

  I decided i was flogging a dead horse, and stopped inviting others to come to my home, eat my food until their ears are flapping, and drink my wine, then go away and say i encourage drunken gluttony. That was about 5 years ago.

  HB
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  LovesDubs

  Well it useter be that we were allowed to HAVE things like 1) Congregation Picnics 2) Night Club outtings 3) Wedding Receptions 4) Parties with DJs and "witness bands" that werent directed and restricted by the WT....and then they found out that WE SPEAK TO EACH OTHER at those gatherings and they cant have THAT going on. And pretty much JWs get drunk in front of each other and their sins are made known to everybody else. They like to keep us isolated. What better way to do that than restricting who you can hang out with in your free time and then not allowing you to hang out with them then either?

  Not only does the congregation disappear after the final prayer, but the good behavior as well.
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  Warlock

  truthseeker,

  Every point in your post is right on. The congregation does exist outside of the hall for a VERY SELECT FEW.

  Other than that, you're on your own.......................unless, of course, there is a rumor of wrongdoing on your part. Then you will get a visit, but it won't be for any socializing.

  Warlock
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  truthseeker

  Seems like I wasn't feeling alone then.

  Obviously, when I didn't know about the WT, I did feel alone, apart from the congregation. It's only now that I realize that the congregation I thought I was part of only exists within those four walls.

  If you're more involved, then you see more of the cong, but it's still generally only during worship/sacred service.

  Watchtower has nothing to attract anyone except everlasting life on a stick. Well, I'm sick of that stick and I can't honestly find for the life of me any reason to keep going other than to keep the wife happy and the elders off my back.

  One elder wanted to talk to me recently, my hours are very low, and my meeting attendance sporadic.

  Even when I was trying to do all that "Jehovah" expected of me, I still felt isolated going to the hall and leaving it.

  When I stayed home from the meeting it dawned on me how ridiculous the concept of the congregation is. You really don't see anyone outside the Kingdom Hall if your face doesn't fit.

  Recently, people have started shunning me at the hall, albeit very subtlely. Those who used to invite me round to their house only look at me in contempt as I show my face every few weeks. I'm almost completely ignored by the elders, except for maybe one or two.
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  drew sagan

  You are right on target with this.
  
  The only real time you 'associate' with fellow JWs is the few minutes before a meeting and Field Service. That's it.
  
  I don't know about the Saturday mornings at your hall but at ours is went like this:
  
  Does anybody have any special needs
  (Silence) Ok, Does anybody have pre-arrangements? (85% of hands go up) Well, looks like we are good to go.
  
  Field Service becomes one big social. Since people are divided in the congregation they all have their own arrangements before they even get to the kingdom hall, that way they are assured to have what they want in the way of their 'social'.
  
  In light of all of this I don't think it is inaccurae not to refer to these groups as 'congregations' but would instead label 'classes'. The atmosphere is much more like that of high school than of a Church. People are hanging out in the hallways before the bell rings. There are friendships and such, but just like high school most people are simply there just to get through it all.
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  garybuss

  I was mostly excluded from the factions and cliques, so my Witness world was mostly just meetings anyway. I married two Witness women and they were more influence on me than the meetings. I worked nights and slept afternoons and evenings, so my contact was Sunday meetings.
  
  The elimination of the social structure of the congregations by way of discouraging social activities as well as the elimination of the function of the family because of the shunning and snubbing practice has made it easy for more than a few Witnesses like me to quit associating altogether.
  
  
  
  
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  lfcviking

  Yes i know exactly what you mean. I used to go to meetings and have a little association afterwards then go home to my 4 walls & solitude. It makes it even worse when you go to work the next day and have to resist worldly associations & conversations with workmates which decreases your social outlet even more. So week after week of this JW imposed monotonous routine and yes it end up depressing you, and just to make it even worse, some up his own ass, over spiritual, self righteous brother will quote Prov 18:1 ;'One isolating himself will seek his own selfish longing' thus suggesting that you are doing it to yourself!