Lynnie you are in a great position to remind the congregation, your loving mother and cousin's that you are to be treated as if you were dead to them. This is how they have treated you for the past 35+ years. This is no longer your responsibility. They made their choice now they have to live with it.
I would also quote that WT to them about not making excuses to contact DF family members -- not even to email them. It's simply respectful of you to honor their wishes.