Do You Get Any Pleasure Out of the Holidays Since Leaving the Watchtower? (page 3)

zensim

We just celebrated our eldest daughter's bday for the first time since we left (she turned 10). We didn't go the cake and party thing, but she got presents and we went out for breakfast and then spent a celebratory family day together.

I was really emotional about it. It was such a relief to finally be able to celebrate the life of this child that came into our lives 10 years ago - it felt so natural. For me it was about the whole family honouring her and making her feel loved and special. We really wanted her to know how much we valued her in our family unit and how blessed we were to have her.

My husband and I talked about it later and realised how sad it is that as a JW no one ever celebrates your life! How sad is it that we didn't even celebrate a person's special value at least one day in a whole year? The JW mentality is that everyone is cut from the same cookie cutter - no matter what your gifts and talents all you are suited for is the same meeting attendance, same door to door work, same same same conformity - and don't you forget it. I think a lot of JW's have self-esteem issues because they are not honoured as an individual.

I still have a thing about the commercialism re holidays. However, after the weekend I also realised how important it is to the human psyche to have reasons to celebrate. Life can be so mundane and routine and it is too easy to get focussed on all the things going wrong. Even if we don't buy into all the reasons for the holidays, I think it is just about celebrating life, finding cause to have fun and take a break and generally spending time with loved ones. If you don't want to buy into all the holiday hoo-ha, then create your own reasons to celebrate something.

Xena

Loved your post zensim!

It never seemed right to me either not to celebrate my daughters birthday. I remember when she was 5 crying because she felt like she wasn't special enough for us to celebrate it...that was a turning point for me. I can do without celebrating my own but my baby is another matter!

hemp lover

Ditto. My daughter's birthday and Mother's Day are my two favorite days of the year.

I've enjoyed the last two Christmases for some of the same reasons you listed, Xena. Setting up our tiny pink tinsel tree, collecting new ornaments, etc. (I was going to say putting up the lights on the house, but they haven't come down since the first party I hosted.) I feel absolutely no compulsion to be drawn into gift exchanges with every person I've ever met. I buy gifts for my daughter and that's it. No guilt here about not reciprocating, because I simply can't afford it. And what's the point of giving a gift if it's based on who gave you a gift last year?

Little Drummer Boy - awesome post. That's what it's about for me, too. My daughter gave me a photo she took of herself with a poem she composed on the back - priceless.

evetteto

zensim, agreed whole-heartedly. My husb's children (11 & 12 ) were with us for 14 months and werent use to celebrating b-days, xmas or any holidays for the last 7 yrs...however Miss Thing ( me ) gave them a b-day party,cake ice cream. games, the works and told them they are very special to God. So special that he chose that very day for them to be born!! they enjoyed it to the fullest...gifts and all! My husb who studies with the jw's said nada!

Abaddon

The first year, no. Few friends as I'd left the Dubbies, I was student and most all the people I knew disappeared during Christmas. I didn't see anyone for three days I think.

Following year I had Christmas with my then-gf's family, and it was lovely. Really warm and loving. A few uninspiring Xmases since then, mostly in student days when most of my friends were back home in the vacations. A rather funny one at another x-gf where I made the cardinal mistakes of totally thrashing her entire family at Trivial Pursuit AND compunded it by beating her mum's High Score (she prided herself on being indisputed family Tetris queen) on a Tetris hand-held the first time I picked it up (blind chance more than skill). Another one at friends from Uni' after Uni meeting up at their house with a mutual acquaintence who was a fb of mine, very boozy and humourous. Then I move over here (from UK to Holland) and it's back to family CHristmas's again, which are great. I even go to Christmas Mass as my fiance likes me to.

This Christmas was the best, as I was able to give my 16 year-old daughter her first proper Christmas; seeing her face when we walked into the Chricstmas deocrations dhepartment was wonderful, and she still has her own tree up, LOL.

I had a few memorable birthdays at Uni', most years I don't get round to organsing anything but this year had quite a nice party, considerably tamer party than in Uni' days, but with family round and a fiance there's less potential for debauchery than with twenty people cramed into a student bedroom off their faces (with at least two who fancy me).

Do Not Call

I found it a bit of an anti-climax.

After doing without celebrating b'days etc all my life, when I was finally able to, I remember thinking, "This is it??"
I enjoy my kids' enjoyment of celebrations like Xmas and b'days. Xmas for us is more of a winter pick-me-up, as we don't get snow, just darkness, rain and wind for months, a decorated tree and some yummy food cheers us up.
As we're struggling for cash (due to JW work constraints for many years), we don't splash out much on gifts,
we tend to focus on us as a family unit at Xmas because we came so close to losing each other when my hubby left the Org.

My advice is relax and enjoy friends and family that you have.

Best wishes friend,
DNC XXXX

plmkrzy

Yesterday was my Crappy Birthday, http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/127389/1.ashx

lol! I know the feeling!

I'm sorry your B Day was crappy.

I missed the thread so I will wish you a better belated happy birthday today.

jayhawk1

I enjoyed each and every reply here. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my inquiry. With the first Christmas I had (and other holidays) I made the most of them. It was a new thing to me and I wanted to do it right. Ever since, the joy of each has diminished greatly. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my family and do so often. But that's just it, I do spend a great amount of time with family, so it hardly makes the holidays any different than any other day.

So it keeps me wondering, is there some sort of joy I'm missing? Or is this all there is and I need to keep my attitude simple?

I will come back to this thread when the need is there. That's what is so great about this board.

some-xjw-guy

Well the holiday is something shared in the collective consciousness right, so if you don't necessarily share in that collective but rather go with your family and immediate circle of loved ones, then that won't carry the same meaning.

A big collective is powerful, for better or worse, but what people don't usually tap into is just a simple intrinsic joy of life, which can be even more powerful. Same goes for peace, because if either is dependent on a lot of people around you being in the same state then it is ultimately undependable. Maybe people miss it by looking somewhere else, when it is actually right where they are. After all, those quality are always experienced in yourself right?

Do You Get Any Pleasure Out of the Holidays Since Leaving the Watchtower?

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