Next new rule: Since the "end" is now upon us, give us your $$$ and we will see to it that your money will go to theocratic interests. The elders will have you give them a financial report to assist your gift giving donations. (Plus it will all be tax deductible).
In the Future the WBT$ will be making New Rules!
by OUTLAW 31 Replies latest jw friends
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Finally-Free
New rule: Each congregation's service committee will ensure that all congregational assets are turned over to the society prior to the drinking of the kool-aid.
W
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Mastodon
I'm sure some have left lierature as tip. After all, you can't put a prize on salvation...
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betterdaze
In the future, all "gatherings" must be scheduled and cleared with the PO, and have no more than 10 participants present, 2 of which must be elders.
~Sue -
betterdaze
In the future, publishers will be required to wear GPS units to assure their whereabouts at all times, under the guise of confirming actual time spent in field service.
~Sue -
betterdaze
In the future, the Watchtower will simply bill your credit card a "Kingdom Publisher Donation" each month based on a "Kingdom Needs Estimate" that is announced at the District Convention. All will approve the Kingdom Estimate for the coming year, so no renewal notice will be sent. Pioneers will receive a small discount.
~Sue -
james_woods
I confess that I too am old enough to predate the approved hotels list. They used to kind of suggest hotels in the late 70s as I recall, but it seemed to be on a very informal basis - no big deal if you went somewhere else, stayed with relatives, used an RV, etc...there was also the informal custom to tape a watchtower up in your back window so that all the happy travelers could wave at each other on the road. Betcha that put up some real fine trucker chatter on channel 19, goodbuddy!
One very weird thing that I think went out in the 60s was having the host congregations go door to door soliciting ordinary homeowners to let visiting witnesses have a room in their house during the assembly. I think the idea was that the visiting witnoids could testify to their hosts and maybe pressure them into coming to the assembly and starting a study. They actually told us to suggest that the assembly was such a big deal that the local city just didn't have enough hotel rooms to accomodate us!!! I never personally saw a single instance where this actually happened. And I found it a lot less embarrasing to just sell the magazines as usual.
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Paisley
jayhawk
OUTLAW, since you brought it up about marriage...
JW couples getting married must ask permission to use the Kingdom Hall. And of course evaluated to insure both are in good standing before Jah.
Only Jehovah Style music can be played on the PA System.
No rice is to be thrown.
(Have they banned the decorating of the car?) If they haven't, that will be next.
I don't see how wedding cake is any different than birthday cake, so they should ban that. Besides, there is no mention of a wedding cake at the wedding Jesus attended.
Perhaps the elders need to institute pre-marriage counciling, that way the woman will know her place early on.
Elders should investigate any couple who choses not to be married at the Kingdom Hall to find out why they can't get married before Jehovah. Surely there must be some good reason for turning their back on their creator on such a blessed event.
(What else can be done to insure the JW wedding will be a miserable event?)
That is some funny stuff jayhawk!! LOL! I have to break it all down - I find everything you said very interesting:
I don't see how wedding cake is any different than birthday cake, so they should ban that. Besides, there is no mention of a wedding cake at the wedding Jesus attended.
(What else can be done to insure the JW wedding will be a miserable event?)
Elders should investigate any couple who choses not to be married at the Kingdom Hall to find out why they can't get married before Jehovah. Surely there must be some good reason for turning their back on their creator on such a blessed event.
I've already had a long-time pioneer sister express this very sentiment. That she might not attend a family wedding because of the lack of appreciation the couple was showing for Jehovah, by electing to have the wedding in a beautiful park instead of the Kingdom Hall. How pathetic! I do believe the Creator built the lush earth, not any Kingdom Halls, himself.
JW couples getting married must ask permission to use the Kingdom Hall. And of course evaluated to insure both are in good standing before Jah.
Only Jehovah Style music can be played on the PA System.
No rice is to be thrown.
It's my understanding, these rules are already in place?
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Paisley
betterdaze
In the future, all "gatherings" must be scheduled and cleared with the PO, and have no more than 10 participants present, 2 of which must be elders.
~SueIn the future, the Watchtower will simply bill your credit card a "Kingdom Publisher Donation" each month based on a "Kingdom Needs Estimate" that is announced at the District Convention. All will approve the Kingdom Estimate for the coming year, so no renewal notice will be sent. Pioneers will receive a small discount.
~SueI don't think you're far off on either of these becoming a reality!
In the future, publishers will be required to wear GPS units to assure their whereabouts at all times, under the guise of confirming actual time spent in field service.
~SueOh my gosh!! Lol!
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Fleshybirdfodder
Don't forget that with the "adjustment" of the new food service (or lack there of to be precise) an accompanying article in the Kingdom Ministry listing recommended foods we should bring for our lunches. "nuts, dried fruits, light foods that will ensure you are refreshed and wide awake for the afternoon sessions." And of course NO alcoholic beverages or large coolers! Also let's not forget the attendants in the hallways waving their "please sit down" signs during the sessions and the "Keep moving" one during the breaks. I always felt like we were cattle being herded when I saw the latter signs. Oh, and take brief notes during the sessions or you will be lost during the convention review at the service meeting a few weeks later.
FBF