Personal Truths

searching4truth

I have been doing alot of soul searching lately. Having been raised as a dub and my entire world focused on that existence I seem to be a bit lost as to who I am. Everything my life was based on was a lie, so that being the case I find myself having to toss all my former philosophies aside and start from scratch. Admittedly this hasn't been easy, as a matter of fact it's been hell. My entire system of values has had to have been reconsidered and the verdict is still out on most things. I am having to find where I stand on all sorts of "personal truths" such as god, ethics, relationships, life, sex, politics, freedom, etc....... the list goes on and on. Most of us on here have some similarities in our past even though we come from different backgrounds. I have e-mailed a couple of people recently who expressed having similar experiences upon their exodus for the "truth". So I was wondering with all of you guys having different levels of experience, maturity, years since you left, etc.. what "personal truths" or conclusions have you all reached on anything or everything?

Abandoned

(((((((((searching4truth)))))))))

It's tough, that's for sure. In my experience, I do better when I focus on the positive. I've taken the time to determine what my dreams and goals are. I've made a lot of progress towards them and I'm getting better at sorting out my choices and choosing ones that are headed the same way I am. So, I think you should take some time to figure out what you want. I highly recommend the book, The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. It's very large, but it has a lot of excellent suggestions on defining and meeting goals.

choosing life

I always have felt that it would be more difficult to leave having been raised in the JWs. I left after 30 years, but I had some frame of reference to work from before I was indoctrinated. I was a young adult when I was lured into their false promises.

The most important personal truth I have learned in life is that a person's perception of truth is always changing. Think about it. What you thought was ultimate truth at 15 was much different than when you reach 20, 30, 40 ,50, etc. Experiences in life change who we are and what is important to us. Yet, if someone tried to convince us at any age that our perceptions were immature or faulty, we would have resisted them.

Give yourself time to explore the world with eyes wide open. Be open to new experiences and be willing to change as you learn new things. Try to look on the positive side of things and enjoy your newfound freedom.

exjdub

Everything my life was based on was a lie, so that being the case I find myself having to toss all my former philosophies aside and start from scratch. Admittedly this hasn't been easy, as a matter of fact it's been hell. My entire system of values has had to have been reconsidered and the verdict is still out on most things.

Searching,

All of your thoughts are quite normal and a necesarry part of healing. I was "raised in the (Lie)" and lasted until I was well into my thirties, so I had to start over as well. It is disconcerting at first, however it does get better if you take the time to explore.

The one personal truth that I continually remind myself of is: I have more questions at 46 than I ever did at 26 because I was so sure of everything when I was in the Borg. But I learned that I don't have to have all of the answers. I will never know the answers to everything...but that is OK, I am comfortable with it.

Remember that the object of any journey is not just to reach the destination, but to enjoy the journey and learn as much as you can. Most times the journey is more enjoyable and more useful than the destination.

One of the mindsets that I had to leave behind when I left the Borg is the need to be so sure of everything, even in the face of something that could never be proven. Take your time...enjoy the journey. Rejoice that you are free and can pursue any knowlege that you desire. Good luck on your journey.

exjdub

purplesofa

It was very unnerving at first to think about changing my entire world.

When I was your age I was getting divorced with 5 kids. Just new in the JW expericance. My marriage was based on alot of lies. I was crushed, shattered, lost, lonely........depressed. I think no matter how bad something is ...... when we lose it we grieve. Building a new life and belief system is not really what anyone wants to do.

Think of it as a challenge, try to relax, make your mistakes, hold on to what you can that is good, salvage it........you won't feel so overwhelmed. You have gotten good things for yourself in life. Keep that and throw out the rest. One day at a time.

Here I am 20 years later and learning a new way of life all over again. The only way I could survive it was to really get in tune with my inner self. The part of me that is real and constant. The core of me. I find peace there ........... my outer self can and will constanty change but the core of who I am remains the same.

Hope this helps in some small way,

purps

jaguarbass

So I was wondering with all of you guys having different levels of experience, maturity, years since you left, etc.. what "personal truths" or conclusions have you all reached on anything or everything?

Be leary of anyone who tells you they know what the truth is. Especially the truth of the unknowable. Life is meaningless. We are here to give it meaning. Religion is to control sheeple.

Outaservice

Personally, (I can't speak for others on the Board) I've come to the following conclusions..............

1. It's okay to vote

2. Church's are not all bad (but some are also abusive)

3. Blood Transfusions are Biblically okay.

4. There are a lot of good people out there, many who do not attend Churches

5. Holiday's are a good time to bond and show love to family (non-JW's) and friends

6.You don't have to have a 4 door car to be loved by God

7. It's okay to sleep in on Saturday morning

8. You'll never have the answers to all of your questions about anything

9. You are not an apostate.

10. You can mow your lawn on Saturday morning

There are of course many, many more things for the list, but this is just a sample!

Outaservice

Narkissos

Great thread, great posts.

I was 27 when I left JWs. I remember the relief I felt the day I realised (as I was conversing with a JW friend who was bombing me with questions on every possible subject) that I was not supposed to have an opinion on everything.

My personal experience since then (behind a number of successive "stances," because I could not -- and still cannot, obviously -- limit myself to pure silence) has been the gentle, mostly unhurried and unresisted, stripping of layer after layer of "truths" and "meanings". I don't expect anything (at least anything expressible as a "truth") to remain in the end, but there has been an implicit "trust" or "faith" in this very process overcoming fear after fear.

I smile at seeing my pessimism meeting optimism at zero grade : everything's gonna be all right.

TweetieBird

It is difficult at first but it does get easier and easier with each passing day. I love to read so for me reading different (previously forbidden) books, i.e. "Crisis of Conscience", "In Search of Christian Freedom" was a tremendous help. Someone else on this board recently recommended "The Four Agreements" and I am really enjoying that one right now. I still have a lot of family members in the Cult so I have to pretend when I am around them or talking to them on the phone that I still believe the lies but I am to the point right now that if they find out my true feelings, so be it.

Smiles_Smiles

I have had 2 1/2 years out.

This is my second time out though. My 1st time was when I was 16 and it lasted for 10 years. But during that time I was still very much attached/inslaved to JW thinking in many ways even though my body was free.

Now I can truly say I am mentally free as well as physically free. I had to let go of all the JW teachings on everything you mentioned. It was like dieing! I thought I would toss it all in the air (everything I had been taught) and see what comes back to me and stick.

As far as personal truths ... I have learned not to be attached to any specific 'truth' because it may change at any time (as I mature and grow more healthy). I try not to think I am 'right' about any 'truth' but that there are some that fit 'me' at given moments in time. And that same thing may be an 'untruth' for another person at that same moment in time. And that doesn't make either of us right nor wrong from were I am sitting. I am not here to convert or condemn anyone.

I must say that having the above emotional state brings me peace and helps me to honor every individual the best that I can.

Life is finally good and enjoyable!

Personal Truths

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