Newbie here with a DF question (page 2)

Justice-One

As long as you don't do anything to get their attention, they may just leave it at that.

Just another factor to indicate they are like the "Borg." Just keep your "warp signature" small, and they are not interested in you.

Welcome Steve--I was reinstated many years ago, then just quit going. People tried to get me to meet with the elders but I refused. They have left me alone, and they are counting me as 'inactive'. This is even though my JW sister has know that I have been celebrating all the holidays, and living an 'immoral' life according to their little rules. I probably just was announced as no longer one of JWs because I sent a letter to my sister recently letting her know how I honestly feel about the Watchtower Society, that they are an evil cult that breaks up families. I got tired of walking on eggshells around my sister and being oh-so-careful about how I spoke around her, apparently she thought I still had the JW mindset.

Anyway, I'm rambling on. Hope you learn the truth about the 'Truth'.

Wasanelder Once

If you inquire, or have someone inquire whether you are DF'd, it will put them on notice that you exist and that your conduct is of concern to someone. Then they dolts will investigate to see if you are a stumbling block for others, or if the one who asks for you is an active member of the flock, they may want to protect them from you. So, let it lie. You're good.

W.Once

Steve4nLanguage

Thanks everyone for the welcome and for your comments.I guess because I don't go to meetings/field service/identify as a JW anymore, I must be of little interest, as Backed away mentioned.

One troubling aspect is my family. My sister and mom and still active JWs, in another part of the state, and kept in contact with me during my inactivity. However, this past February I came out to them as gay (yeah, that was the 1999 confession), and now I'm being treated as DF'd, even though I've never been officially (at least that I know of). My sister tried to show her "compassion" by telling me that it didn't matter that I was gay to her (she had suspected anyway), as one sin is not worse than another (which I applaud her for thinking). But now that I officially told her about my lifestyle (she asked if I had a partner, and I told her that yes, I was in a monogamous relationship but unfortunately marriage is not legally recognized) she's decided to cut me out of her and my nieces and nephews lives because, as she said, "You've essentially disassociated yourself", even though I never sent a letter or anything, and I've never been DF'd.

Maybe I'm harping on technicalities here, but the troubling aspect is that some acquaintances from my former cong. will still talk with me (and some do know that I'm gay), but my family won't. That hurts. But perhaps it's karma; my mom had been DF's for a number of years while I was "Mr. Spiritual" and sadly I'm afraid that I followed the WTS dogma and had Limited Association™ with her (I had to borrow YoursChelbie's humorous idea there).

Wow, I seem to have spilled my guts here a bit. Is there another part of the forum for unloading like this? I still have pent up rage about the whole "higher education=satan" thing, of which I'm still paying for at age 43. Don't get me started....

Mystla

Argh, I typed a nice long reply and it was deleted before I could post it.. I really hate computers!

I faded after my Ex and I seperated.. my family was fine until they found out I was living with a man.. they started speaking to me again when we got married.. I know this isn't any help to you, I just wanted you to know that I understand where you are coming from.

My first attempt at posting was so much better...

Anyway.. welcome to JWD, you will find a lot of help here (probably not from me) and I look forward to reading your posts.

Misty

free2beme

I think you would fit under the category of someone who FADED away. Which means, your not disfellowshipped. If you made the stand to leave seven years ago, it seem apparent to me that you don't care either way. Good for you!

Abandoned

Hey Steve4nLanguage,

Welcome to the forums. To answer your question, I don't know. I'm a lot of help huh? You see I'm in a similar boat. I just stopped going sometime around the time of 911 and I've never been back. I attended a long way from where I'm living now and to my knowledge, I've never been df'd. I don't really care either. I did smoke for about the last two years I lived near my old congregation so it's possible that someone saw me do that and that they considered me da'd.

Newbie here with a DF question