Newbie here with a DF question

by Steve4nLanguage 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Steve4nLanguage

  I discovered this site only this morning, and have been reading for about 3 hours now. Very interesting.This is my first post, and I have a question, however, if this is the wrong forum please let me know or please move this post to the correct location. Thanks.

  I'll try to keep this preface short. I was raised a JW since birth and got baptized in 1984. I pioneered and did a stint as a MS, but since around 1993 my meeting attendance, etc. gradually declined. In 1999 I went before a judicial committee for something that I confessed to. I could have been DF'd, but I guess I seemed repentent enough that I wasn't. However, I have never been back to the KH since then (except a couple of times to an out-of-town KH for funerals). There's a lot more to the story, but for now I'll just say that I'm a much happier person.

  My question is: Even though I have never been contacted by the elders since 1999, is it possible that I could have been subsequently DF'd anyway, without notice? I don't really care one way or the other, it's just that there are a small number of JWs in my area who will still greet and talk to me in passing, but I don't know if they're still doing this because I haven't been officially DF'd, or if they're breaking the rules and showing some humanity.

  So, are any elders or others out there who know if one can be DF's without notice? Perhaps the trend now is to just leave inactive ones alone?

  Thanks.
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  riverofdeceit

  I believe (no personal experience in this matter) that they would generally contact you first, ask to meet with them. They would do this with a witness there, also, be it over the phone, or in person at your door. If you chose not to meet with them, on occasion they have disfellowshipped people(or just announced that you aren't a JW anymore, to make it seem like you disassociated). This is my layman's answer to you. More studied individuals can give you a better answer. Welcome to the forum.

  Edited to add that I was reinstated years ago (5 maybe?), and never returned. I have never been contacted and am not dfd. I attended my mothers funeral at the KH a year or two later, and was greeted normally. Currently the trend is to leave inactive ones alone, unless someone has a bone to grind with you, or if you are flaunting a "worldly lifestyle". Some have hinted at a possible change in this policy, but I personally don't think that is happening yet.
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  garybuss

  Welcome Steve,
  
  The Witness formatting isn't sticking like it did. Lots are greeting and being civil and I say if they respect me and people important to me, they have earned respect back.
  
  Shunning and snubbing was supposed to bring people back to Watch Tower Publishing Corporation sales meetings and unpaid religious literature distribution but it's not working and older Witnesses who have shunned and snubbed their own family members for years are getting sick and old and dying without seeing the shunned people comply and return. They notice it doesn't work.
  
  The Watch Tower Publishing Corporation's prediction of "shun them and they will want to return" has turned into another failed prophecy. We ain't comin' back! And we're not weak and we don't fall apart like a two dollar suitcase in the rain. So, I say return a kind greeting with a kind greeting.
  
  The Society is losing it's grip on lots of Witness people.
  
  
• 

  MinisterAmos

  PM me your real name and congo, and I'll call the KH to ask for you!

  (Now that's a cunning plan!)
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  Purza

  Just last week I had an active witness tell me that they will not DF you if they don't tell you first. Despite the fact that she is active, I am still skeptical of her certainty. I wouldn't put it past them to DF you and not tell you. I truly believe the elders can be sly and cunning.

  Is there anyone that you used to know that you can contact to find out?

  Purza
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  SWALKER

  You're probably not DF'd. As long as you don't do anything to get their attention, they may just leave it at that. There are a lot of faders on this board, including me, and I haven't been DF'd so far! I think a lot of it just depends on the elders.

  Welcome!

  Swalker
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  Backed away

  Welcome Steve!

  Speaking from experience, I faded many years ago and if they wanted to I could be DF'ed for all sorts of things. my family is spread out all over Cali so if they wanted to, they could form the witch hunt. my take is I'm of little interest anymore, they probably have enough on their hands making their own Congo feel uncomfortable and sorting thru those with a free will who decide to ask questions they cannot answer.

  I was swept under the rug, so were you most likely.
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  mouthy

  Welcome Steve!

  Great that you found the site. Good to have you. Wish I could answer your question. But hey! just accept love where ever it comes from. If they are still saying hello ----pray for them ---they too may join us here one day((((HUGS)
• 

  gumby

  My question is: Even though I have never been contacted by the elders since 1999, is it possible that I could have been subsequently DF'd anyway, without notice?

  They will not disfellowship you for not returning to meetings as lack of meeting attendence isn't a disfellowshipping offence.

  If you've engaged in some type of "serious or gross sin" and they are aware of it, they will try to contact you for you to meet with them. If you do not respond after they have tried to contact you a few times, then they can proceed with an announcement.

  Just last Sunday,The Watchtower Study article was about disfellowshipping with a picture of a sheperd bandaging up a sheeps leg and it was showing how the elders "seek out" weak ones and try to restore them.......but as Gary mentioned, the formatting isn't sticking and these proceedures are seldom if ever followed. Just read the comments so far and the comments to come and you'll see that those who leave the congregation are rarely sought out by the elders so as to heal those who stray.

  Btw......WELCOME

  Gumby
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  YoursChelbie

  What I have noticed is that the elders seem to be operating much like Worldly™ Courts of Law in the sense that before someone can sue you they have to give you notice. As long as they cannot “track” you then you may well remain in a non-DF state indefinitely.
  I have not gone in Field Service™ or set foot in a KH for almost five years. The elders in the last cong. I attended know that according to their definition I got an Unscriptural Divorce from my JW husband and subsequently married later on. They could have DFme had I been an active member. However, I have remained in a non-DF state so far because I am not an active member and/or they are too lazy to come and find me.

  YC