Nosferatu's School of Dating - Lesson 1.4 - Happiness

by Nosferatu 23 Replies latest social relationships

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W

    Odrade--- I don't know if you realise, but you hit upon an important point here. The despondent young men you mentioned were all college-age, in a college enviroment. [No, this is not leading into a JW anti-college rant.] These young men were all smack in the center of a 'transitional' phase, which all of our college years are, really.

    It's the transition from young personhood/ family dependence to young adulthood/ independence, which is a scary and emotional rocky time for anyone, especially those who have few welll-established strong emotional, financial, educational supports to sustain them. [Which is almost the definition of college student.]

    It's during this emotionally/ psychologically vulnerable time, when we tend to seek out those supports from whereever we can glean them, that CULTS can appear like a stronghold that will help ease transition, too. It's not just college age--it's any major life change/ transition that invites this vulnerability, for anyone. Having the solid supports already in place is what makes the hugest difference for people undergoing these transitions. That, an recognizing the transition phase for what it is...and being able to adjust their own responses within it accordingly.

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Actually J-ex-W, of the three examples I mentioned, two of them were college age, one of whom was actually in college - a freshman, the other was about 20. The last on I specifically mentioned was in his thirties. One was an Ex-JW, one a JW, and the other was non-religious. I agree that transitional times (college,) are especially vulnerable, but I don't think that either college "men," or men in transitional phases have a lock on creating fantasies around disinterested women.

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W

    Odrade--- True. But that's not my point. It's the despondency (over whatever issue) to the point of suicidal thoughts that made me think of transitional phases. Like the posters here--and yes, I've been one of them--who can become severely distressed during the transition phase they're in right now, regarding the religious 'jump' and issues carried along with it. College age is just one example of a major life transition. Every person posting on this board is at some point in their own religious transition. And having the supports here makes a HUGE difference to the ability to cope with the challenges! THANKS, GUYS!!! You are all great!!!

  • YoursChelbie
    YoursChelbie
    However, if that person is taking away from our existing happiness, that person should be removed from our lives.

    Sounds like a good sort of matter-of-fact closure for a relationship that has gone sour. This advice I do agree with, btw.

    This Lesson 1.4 sounds like a good "last chapter" in your book with Lesson 2.0 perhaps belonging more on Chapter 1. But anyway, each reader can pick and choose what content and what order is best for them.

    YC

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