by Nosferatu 23 Replies latest social relationships
I dunno, somehow most of that stuff seemed highly artificial to me -- words put in men's mouths to fulfill the fantasies of (young) women.
Back in the 1950s and 60s, that's all it really was. Unfortunately over time, it turned from a story of a woman's fantasy into a literal sense that men believed was the right way to live. I know I once believed it.
However, if that person is taking away from our existing happiness, that person should be removed from our lives.If you make it a goal to live this analogy, you will no longer have to fear being abandoned by a woman
Nos ya bastard,....are you havin a hard time gettin a gal or sumpin?
I guess much of what you are saying is true, but some of it isn't realistic as far as being expressed in peoples lives.
Let's say I'm happy but I don't have a dog....then I get a dog. I now say to myself..."boy, I should have gotten a dog along time ago because I'm not so lonely anymore and old charlie has become my best companion". 2 months later old charlie gets ran over by a fatass drunken truckdriver drivin an eighteenwheeler. Now you grieve and are sad because old charlie is gone and you had drawn so close to him.
Does this mean you wouldn't have been sad had you not let your emotions gone so far into old charlie?
The point is, anytime we lose a companion, we are hurt regardless of how independantly happy we were/are, and that there are many things in life that bring greater happiness than the happiness we had before.
Don't make me come over there and give you a nutsack buffin with coarse grit sandpaper.....ya hear?
Gumbaffoon
Does this mean you wouldn't have been sad had you not let your emotions gone so far into old charlie?
Not at all. There's nothing wrong with being sad over someone leaving you. However, would you say that your life is completely ruined because your dog got run over? Would you want to kill yourself because your dog is no longer in your life?
Unfortunately, there are many men out there who would and have committed suicide because their girlfriends have left them. This is the mindset that I'm aiming to destroy. Life DOES exist beyond women, but there's nothing wrong with grieving. Also, thank you for bringing up this subject. I'll touch more on "getting over your ex" later.
However, would you say that your life is completely ruined because your dog got run over?
No, but it may be in the dumps for some time.
I just talked on the phone to a fellow male poster here who lost his wife in April due to cancer and many times he was so down he wished he could have just taken a pill and ended it all.....because he wasn't happy anymore without his wife whom he loved dearly. He is just now coming out of the clouds and starting to live again. Does this mean he put too much stock into his wife and depended on her too much for his happiness......or did he respond as humans respond when they lose a loved one? I know you said grieving is natural, but somehow it seems to contradict your idea presented here. Maybe I just ain't had 'nuff coffee yet
Gumgriever
Does this mean he put too much stock into his wife and depended on her too much for his happiness......
Possibly, but it's not my place to figure that out. Only he can apply what I wrote to his own life, and only he can figure out if this was his problem or not. I cannot judge anything about their relationship.
The only thing I can hope is that people figure out their own lives. I can point them in a certain direction, but it's up to them to make the changes and choices to make this information work for them, and that's even if it applies to them.
Gumby, gumby. This is Nos' school of DATING! Not get-married-to-your-soulmate-then-watch-her-die-without-pilling-yourself school. I think "be happy with yourself," and "not fearing abandonment by a woman" is GREAT dating advice.
I've known more than a few boys and men who get suicidal when their kinda almost girlfriend decides to date other guys living in the fraternity next door. One slashed his wrists, another took pills, another one didn't eat for a week solid, there are more. These guys were obviously equating that woman with their entire life and happiness. When she moved on, they had nothing. That's insane. Women do it too. I remember spending what felt like WEEKS lying in the bathroom crying my brains out because some boy dumped me. I was insecure and not too happy with the kind of person I was then.
Sure it's natural to be sad, but letting your whole life grind to a halt over a DATE? Pretty good indicator that something is amiss in one's own life if so.
I can point them in a certain direction, but it's up to them to make the changes and choices to make this information work for them
Holy shitsky....we have another Brownboy
Ok nos, since Odrande striaghtened my arse out...I see where your coming from. If this is a NEW relationship and it doesn't work out and a person goes to pieces, then yes, they have put too much stock in one thing. However if they fell deeply in love and got their heart broken bad enough, then it's easy to see how one could want to end their life or whatever at least temporarily....especially if that person is weak emotionally. A guy that's week emotionally might even wanna end his life if he had too many viens in his nutsack and he can't hide them even with some chocolate wax of mine.
There.....how'd I do this time around?
Gumbicide
One thing about separation, there is a big difference between the death of a mate of decades compared to a breakup w a girlfriend of a few months or a few days. I can totally understand a severe reaction of loss at loosing a longtime mate. Getting over it and then even considering investing efforts into finding another would take a lot more time than going through the same thing w a short term girlfriend.
S
If I had too many veins in my nutsack I might end it all too.
The whole thought of GUMBY needing coffee to get over gumgrieving just seems so surreal to me....
