May I ask: How old are you? You appear to be very young. If so, it is very difficult to answer some questions. The only thing I can tell you is that you have to be true to yourself. You can't do things because others want you to. Again, the age factor is very important. I can advice you that you shouldn't live a double life. If you want to go back you have to be genuine. How do you feel about God, the Bible, JW's teachings in general? Go to another church? I wouldn't do that, you are going to find faults there as well, more than in the organization. If you are a spiritual person then think for yourself how to better attain a better relationship with God, without thinking about religion in general. Search within yourself and analyze what you've been taught. The reason for you being df'd even after going and confessing, might have been because, like you said you were "caught". Would you have confess if not? That is probably why you were df'd, they "sensed" you were not repentant. I don't know your family situation either and how they are treating you, if they are witnesses.
Again there are a lot of factors we need to know before we can give you the proper advice. I don't see how talking negatively about the Organization would help here. That they were involved with the UN I couldn't believe it until I saw it. And even then I still have a lot of doubts as far as the motive behind it. Only time will tell.
Let us know more about yourself without revealing too much of your intimate life. Maybe a little more background will be helpful in helping you.