Somehow.... I am winning out in the end...

by Billzfan23 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    that's good news, I was just wondering how your wife was behaving. Now I think of it, my born and raised dub wife was very quick to leave the bOrg when she checked up on the research I had done. I hope it works out as well for you two! ...got to go and get your pint of ale now! Cheers, Pete

  • esw1966
    esw1966

    That is SO awesome!!!!

    I am SO happy for you!!

    Keep showing yourself reasonable and things sound as though they will go very well for you!

    Congratulations!!!

    Ethan

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    Good news.

    *sigh...always just a little bit sad when I get to the end and see it not one of MY family members.*

    Merry Christmas to you and yours.

    lisa

  • unhappy
    unhappy

    You know what, I'm cautiously wondering myself - because nowadays there are just so many disfellowshipped ones and so much truthful information out about the WTS - that at least some JWs are starting to think more realistcally.

    Hope that that may be true but still we need to be be very cautious.

    best wishes and merry christmas

    happier now

  • valkyrie
    valkyrie

    Congratulations, BillsFan23! What an uplifting bit of news, and a welcome 'gift' for you! Keep using hope as your power source.

    Wishing you more of the same, and a peaceful holiday

    -V

  • fokyc
    fokyc

    ...she just might follow me!...

    Billzfan23 - OK lets know the strategy and the rest!

    I have been trying for years to get my wife round like this and failed miserably, I admit we are still together - BUT!

    A Very Merry Xmas to you too, AND everybody else who may read this.

    I'll have a Brandy and Champagne, what's yours?

    fokyc

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23
    Billzfan23 - OK lets know the strategy and the rest!

    I have been trying for years to get my wife round like this and failed miserably, I admit we are still together - BUT!

    The strategy was simple but I took my time and chose my words carefully - AND took to heart the advice handed out here on the board. I was kind to her and never acted irrationanally and tried to never act like a "know it all" - even over things that were clear and obvious to me. Also, I took the advice of those who said that the best tactic is to be very "questioning" - don't make statements but state your reasons as questions. For example - "Honey, I can't help but wonder just a little bit - Wouldn't a person on the society's writing committee be bloodguilty for the lost lives of those who died during the 13 years that the Watchtower organization viewed organ transplants as cannabilism and forbid witnesses from accepting them?" And... "You know God's thoughts do not change - he is the same yesterday and today as the scriptures say... but does this mean that God changed his mind about transplants?"

    Another HUGE tactic of mine was to play the role of the victim - and there was no deceit on my part... I know that I was a victim of the borg. I went on and on and on to my wife about how I would love to see my deceased siblings, parents, grandparents - and I told her what a huge blow it was to me to lose my faith in a paradise earth and in everlasting life because I feel that the organization is a farse. She was much more understanding of the way that I have been acting when she put herself in my shoes and thought about how SHE would feel if her beliefs were shattered. While I think she will remain a witness, I know for a certainty that she is now very confused and I'm sure her faith is shaken some. But she never discourages me from telling her the new things I have learned either.

    With VERY careful execution, I think many of even the most "die-hard" adherents to the org can be turned away eventually.

  • fokyc
    fokyc

    I agree that should work, I've tried it all for nearly 55 years.

    My wife just gets more entrenched, it doesn't matter what things happen or go on in the Cong.

    It's Jehovah's place and she is going to keep on going!

    I'm just so used to it now, I despair!

    fokyc

  • avidbiblereader
    avidbiblereader

    Bizfan, I hope it works out for you, I went through a very familar situation, my ex turned me in after she left for apostsy, divorced me and she had the same statements as your wife. Either way you will have light at the end of the tunnell, I pray that it is the light that you and your family deserve. I wish you the best.

    ABR

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    As you may know, billzfan, I like collecting success stories. It gives me an idea if our advice works. Congratulations, and best hopes for the months and years ahead.

    She was much more understanding of the way that I have been acting when she put herself in my shoes and thought about how SHE would feel if her beliefs were shattered.

    Brilliant of you to help her see things from your point of view. Moments like these jolt her out of the cult mindset.

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