I am happy to report to everyone on this site that I have discovered a Magic Sandwich™ that cures cancer. For a small one-time payment of your entire life of Thursday nights, Sunday afternoons, and recruitment work on Saturday mornings - it can be yours! For your peace of mind, I have provided answers to some commonly asked questions:
Q: Does your Magic Sandwich™ actually cure cancer?
A: Yes! I have several friends who have tried my Magic Sandwich and none of them have cancer. And they all say the Magic Sandwich is absolutely the best thing ever!
Q: Has the FDA approved your Magic Sandwich™ for the treatment of cancer?
A: The Magic Sandwich goes far beyond anything modern medicine can do. It doesn't just treat symptoms - it actually provides a cure! The FDA simply is not qualified to approve it. Think about that for a moment, a cure so powerful it goes beyond the authority of any earthly government! Isn't that great?
Q: What scientific research has been done on the Magic Sandwich™?
A: The Magic Sandwich is entirely consistent with science. Even so, science doesn't know everything. And the Magic Sandwich is proof of that. Science can only investigate the natural world. But the Magic Sandwich is truly a supernatural wonder!
Q: What if I don't have cancer?
A: There are many kinds of cancer that are undetectable. And many people find out they have cancer when its too late. But the Magic Sandwich cures every kind of cancer - even the ones we don't know about. Isn't that a truly loving arrangement provided by the Magic Sandwich?
Q: Why doesn't everyone know about your Magic Sandwich™?
A: Because most people in the world are too haughty and caught up in themselves. It is so heart breaking, millions of wicked people die every year because they are too proud to accept the gift of the Magic Sandwich.
Q: I have some friends who tried the Magic Sandwich™ but they still got cancer.
A: Sadly, some do not follow the appropriate prescription of the Magic Sandwich and end up with cancer. Only by being a loyal eater of the Magic Sandwich can you hope to remain cancer free.
Q: How do we know you're not just a Charlatan out to make a buck?
A: Is that really a chance you willing to take? Many have put off action because they were indecisive about the Magic Sandwich. And sadly, far too many of them have paid the price with their lives. Don't be like them, start making preparations to get your Magic Sandwich today!
Q: How do I get my Magic Sandwich™?
A: An Ordained Sandwich Maker* will swing by your house in the morning and make you one.
*All our Ordained Sandwich Makers are fully qualified to make Magic Sandwiches. Just because they don't know how it works, where it comes from, who's in marketing it, or really just anything about the Magic Sandwich - doesn't mean they're not perfectly qualified. Only arrogant and mentally diseased individuals would question the abilities of our honest hearted Sandwich Makers.