Can You Get DF'd If You....

by Englishman 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Have sex with a blow-up doll?

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • Makena1
    Makena1

    Englishman - as a former untrained clergy, I need more information.
    How many times did you have sex?
    Was anything besides the missionary position used?
    Are you turning yourself in, or is your partner wanting to confess?
    Did anyone else see you? (reproved before all onlookers - how do you write a special needs talk on this subject....?)
    Are you both repentant?

    Fess up - you know the drill...
    ROTFLMAO

    Makena
    Pass me that Guiness! :)

  • LDH
    LDH

    * http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=12567&site=3

    EMan you better be careful. As you can clearly read in the above link, Dung beetle will watch you. I'm assuming he's the 'spiritual sexual police'--probably had good training after being an elder, LOL!

    Lisa

  • anglise
    anglise

    No.
    Because it doesnt break the command of marriage making you 1 flesh, and if you are not married as a male you would not have "defiled yourself with a woman" and so would be pure and virginal (rev 14 v4)

    The same would of course apply to those of the gentler sex. IMHO

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    OK, well, supposin' I turn a blow up doll over and, well you know, don't do the vagina thing, does that mean that I can't be divorced for it - no vaginal penetration having taken place - but I can be given the welly boot for porn-ear?

    Englishman - nothin' could be finer than to be in your v----a, in the mornin'!

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    I think the elder's advise would go something like this:

    Englishman, as you know, in the Bible we are told at Colosians 3:5&6 to,
    Deaden, therefore, YOUR body members that are upon the earth as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covitousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of those things the wrath of God is coming.
    Now Englishman, as you see, putting your weewee in a blowup doll would be unclean sexual appetite so God will bring his wrath upon you. In a couple of days, me and two other elders will come over and have a hearing on your behavior.

    Does this clear things up for you?

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Jayhawk 1,

    Looks like I'm in for a

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    Englishman,
    Oh My God, your smily faces are too funny! It is all I can do to stay in my chair.

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

  • ISP
    ISP

    I think Doll-Abuse is not allowed in the WTS. However there would have to be 2 witnesses. No one would believe the doll........so you should be OK.

    ISP

  • HoChiMin
    HoChiMin

    Englaise,

    Have you been gone that long? You can only be disciplined if the doll talks back to you.

    HCM

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