Why is it so many Men agree to take on the Position of an Elder?

by restrangled 49 Replies latest jw friends

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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I agree with you W.Once. My father became an elder because he actually believed it was the "truth." This was after 20+ years of "inactivity". He died suddenly of a heart attack when I was eighteen so I never had the opportunity as a grown man to ask him exactly the reason for the complete turnaround (though I have my suspicions). The point being... I remember seeing my father pale knowing he'd had no sleep the night before because he'd been roped into a J.C., and I remember him actually disagreeing with our Gestapo of a P.O. once and it going to the "higher ups". I really think there are a lot of incredible, humble men in that organization, but they really have no power, because they never sought it. It's a fairly easy equation if we really look at it. Personally, I was told I was "perfect" for the position of Oversight if I just got my hours up. Never got there.

  FBF
• 

  sspo

  Restrangled

  I was an elder for 21 years, and was not a window washer and i tried to serve without any selfish motives

  As a matter of fact i did not like the attention or title, once i stepped down it felt good helping others and doing it without the title of elder.
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  Scully

  I used to know a few men who I believed were sincerely interested in the spiritual well-being of the congregation, who had extensive biblical knowledge and experience to share with others.

  When push came to shove, however, they always seemed to pull rank in a pissing contest.

  Some of the ones who I used to believe were the most diligent regarding the overall spiritual well-being of the congregation, were the same ones who decided it was ok to send a known child molester to the book study in my family's house (after being DFd and Reinstated™ - not once, but twice and later a third time - for molesting his step-daughter and then his own daughters) without informing my folks, because my dad was merely a Ministerial Servant™ and not privy to the details of the Judicial Committee™ meetings. But the Elders'™ daughters were kept out of harm's way, at least. I guess they figured that I wasn't worth protecting... that their own daughters needed to be kept away from that pig, but not me.
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  restrangled

  Waslander Once, my question was sincere, and so was your answer.

  You sound like you were another true older man/ elder. I am sorry you suffered so in your honest attempt to be what the position called for.

  It is difficult to read about your hard work, many people probably benefited from your efforts and yet, ....you are here. How frustrating it must feel to have given everything you did and not feel appreciated.

  How I wish someone like you had been in my hall. ......You probably made a huge difference in many lives .....

  Respectfully,

  r.
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  becca1

  sspo and WO: I agree with you both.
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  outoftheorg

  I can understand your feelings SSPO. For those men who really felt the needs of others in both a religious area and other areas where we all need help at times. I had and have respect for them.

  I had a life that required a lot of my time and efforts at home. My first jw wife abandoned both me and our 4 children ages 12 yrs. to 18 months.

  I remarried "in the truth of course" to a young lady 9 yrs younger than me. It turned out that she had some emotional problems and of course we had some children of our own.

  I was dealing with all of this when I was pushed into being an elder. I had neither the time nor did I feel that I was qualified to counsel others.

  It didn't take much to see, that to deal with the arrogance of elders with no real education or the personality, to really try to understand the problems that some of the jw's were dealing with, often personal issues within the family or marriage was not working.

  Of course when it did not work, they blamed the persons they were supposed to help.

  In the few times that I was asked to help couples with problems, I knew no scripture that I felt was going to be of help.

  Having some knowledge of psychology " read a few books on it" I would turn to this and just talking to try to help. Often the couple involved would really thank me for the help and I would get hammered by other elders for not using scripture.

  Do I have mostly negative feelings about elders? Yes of course. However I also knew a "few" who were really trying hard to help. I think you might fit in with that few.

  So when I describe MY EXPERIENCES please do not think that I am degrading you or your efforts to be the kind and caring person we all admire.

  Outoftheorg
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  restrangled

  I am so glad I asked this question tonight. I have learned things I thought were not probable.

  Because I was raised in a KH where the elders behaved like demons, I assumed it was true across the Board. From this thread I have learned that there are and were men who were truley inspired to be leaders and wanted to help those in their congregations without thought to titles, status and the like.

  To me, these seem to be men that were "inspired" not the GB.

  Sadly, these men seem to have been thrown away.

  Thank you for posting and I will be watching for more stories.

  r.
• 

  SirNose586

  Really? So if you try to refuse the eldership position, you get the thumbscrews put on you?

  Well...I suppose if I get used to the idea now, I can be ready for it when it comes. I know they're trying to groom me into an elder. Maybe this can be the ticket out....
• 

  jayhawk1

  For some it's the pressure to do so. "There must be something wrong with you, if you aren't reaching out." This was uttered many times in my old Kingdom Hall.
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  blondie

  I don't think there is any one reason or just one reason for each man. Unlike women, men are judged by the so-called "spiritual progress" they make in the organization which is measured by the "privileges" and "rank" they occupy. They are expected to be "reaching out." A baptized man in the organization is considered suspect if he turns down a privilege, especially that of being an elder. I have known of several men who did turn down such a "privilege" several times and were viewed with suspicion. Men who step down are viewed with the same suspicion.

  Two finally gave in to being appointed and stepped down in less than 5 years.

  It is easy for women to lay low and be ignored since few "privileges" are open to them directly...pioneering is about it. Everything else is related to be married to a brother with status.

  Any baptized man in the organization who goes more than ten years and is not an MS or an elder, is seen as deficient in some way, spiritually weak.

  Blondie