It finally happened!

by Bstndance 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bstndance

    Brief History: My mom found that I have a myspace (forbidden sin) and that I was a member of this group (bigger forbidden sin) so she stopped talking to me for 3 weeks. Today she finally calls all crying and said she spoke with the elders and they feel she should stop talking to me. I told her I'm very happy she's crying because she knows she's making the wrong decision. Of course she insisted she isn't and persisted to cry so I told her I hope she cries everyday for the rest of her life. :-) The deal is, I haven't lived with her for 10 years and in no way have received any financial or material support, and really no emotional support for the tough times (break-ups etc). i told her that she should no longer consider herself a christian because jesus' love is unconditional and hers is. We actually enjoyed a nice relationship the past few years and now she wants to ruin it. I told her I have ever right to be part of this group because I'm 1) GAY and 2) EX JW. DUH!!! To quote cartman: "Whatever! i do what I want!" I still hurts though and I have left a few really pointed messages on her voicemail. That's the nice thing is now I can always state my case on voicemail and don't have to worry about a retort. Has anyone tried to sue JW for emotional damages. My mom of course blames the elders for having her make this decision so therefore it's the organization or at least the congregation that broke the family apart. I'm sure here in California there's a atheist enough attorney that may want to take on the Wild Beast. I do have some allies. My older brother, not a JW, and his son. I'm trying to get my brother to use visitation of her grandson as leverage. He's pissed at her. My dad (mom's ex husband) is already to beat her down. And my step-mother, who has been more of a mother than my mom could ever be is pretty floored. Some witness, eh? Who would want to be a JW when they see what type of f*cked up thinking it causes..... and exhale time for a drink :-)

  • Bstndance

    BTW i originally posted this topic on the myspace gay-exJW group. Sorry about the format.. stupid mac... eerrr

  • jaguarbass

    Has anyone tried to sue JW for emotional damages

    When I left in 83, I would have liked to, I'm sure I considered it. I was to emotionally upset to pursue it. There was little support for someone leaving the organization. There was no internet like there is today. Computers operated with dos programing. Their were no windows 95 browsers. The only support I found a few years after I left were a book here and their from the religious section of the book store and then a news letter "Comments From the Friends, they still have a web site today.

  • sspo

    Can you ask your mother to ask the elders what's on page 103 of their elders book and see what they have to say about that?

    It states that a relative will not get in trouble even if they associate with a DF person.

    If she talked to you for 10 years and did not bother her, why is she going by the elders conscience now?

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis
    My mom of course blames the elders for having her make this decision so therefore it's the organization or at least the congregation that broke the family apart.


    My husband and I talked about this last night.

    It amazes me how often a person might say "the Elders told me to do it".

  • misanthropic

    That sucks you have to deal with this BS and I've said it before, it's really sad when parents can't love their kids "unconditionally".
    Especially when you consider the fact that what they're judging you by is just that you are "trying to be YOURSELF".
    It's weird when you think about it, how they react like it's been revealed that you are some kind of mass murderer or something, when actually your just trying to live your life.
    And for that I'm really sorry you have to go through that. I don't know if I would sue, mainly because I don't think you realize the emotional rollercoaster that could be for you, but that's your choice and if that's what you want then go for it.
    But as far as having your brother use his child as "leverage" I just think that's wrong no matter how you look at it. Unless she is saying damaging things to the child when she gets to see him
    she has a right to see her grandchild and likewise. But if she is saying damaging things then I would consult an attorney on what can be done, mainly because the child shouldn't be caught in the crossfire of any of this.

  • tijkmo

    r.u df

    cos if not wtf

  • Junction-Guy

    Well she needs to blame the society. The Elders are only telling her what has been passed down to them from Crooklyn. They lay the guilt trip on her for sure. I wish you could sue, but it would take a miracle to win on those grounds.

  • Pubsinger

    Presumably she knew you were gay but she still spoke to you.

    But JWD and a MySpace account was a step too far!

  • Bstndance

    tijkmo: no I'm not DF but she said the elders need to talk to me. I said "bring it on". I live over 2 thousand miles away from her, I'd like to run up their phone bill for a bit.

    pubsinger: Yeah, she's known about me for almost 10 years. It was the association with "apostates" that made her rat me out to the elders. I told her that I'm suprised she actually believes she is as weak as they tell her they are. At my age she was a single mom with two kids in school and did it all on her own. I always thought she was strong but I guess she slowly got beat down by the WTS and now she feels she's too weak to deal with her ex-JW son. What makes it funny is that my brother (the one with the child) doesn't get this type of treatment because he left for my dad's before the pressure to get baptized was turned on.

    I do understand about the child should not be put in the middle because he doesn't really understand. But I do know that my sister-in-law is pissed off said she is going to keep a more watchful eye on whether my mom is trying to preach to their son.

    I think the next step is to rat my mom out to her mom (my grandmother). Let her see how it feels. :-)

    Yeah suing really won't get me anywhere. I wonder if one day there could be a class action suit against the Watchtower. They would probably try to get it thrown out on the basis that shunning is an individual decision.

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