I just got one of *those* calls from my son's school

by daystar 37 Replies latest social family

  • daystar

    *sigh* The joys of parenthood.

    I just got a call from my son's school. He gets picked up by his after school care in a van. All the kids who get picked up are lined up outside to get ready for their rides.

    My son decides it's a good idea to pick up a stick and throw it, hitting a car and putting a small dent in it.

    Luckily, the lady in the car doesn't make a big deal of it and didn't say she is going to file a claim. (I am guessing it wasn't a Mercedez or BMW then.) But I just can't believe he did this! I'm fairly certain that he didn't mean to hit the car. But I have no idea what makes him think it's okay to throw a stick like that. *frustration*

    My old JW upbringing is trying to make me get very mad about this and just... I don't know. The school is going to have him sit out of recess tomorrow and write an apology. I told them I didn't think that was enough, so they're going to have him sit out Friday as well and write why doing such a thing is wrong.

    Suggestions? I am thinking I'm going to ground him from some things he likes to do for a few days. But I also need him to understand why it's not okay to do things like that. I don't want to go overboard with it either. Perhaps he is confined to his room tonight as well as grounded from the computer for a few days? Is that too much? Not enough?

  • Swamboozled

    Oh...I so know how you feel! How old is your son? If he is very young (5 or 6) I wouldn't do more than 2-3 days no TV or computer + a stern talking to tonight to make sure that he understands. If he is older, I would add a few days.

  • tetrapod.sapien
    Perhaps he is confined to his room tonight as well as grounded from the computer for a few days?

    how old is he? make him read chapter 16 in walden by henry david thoreau, and he has to have a *real* conversation with you about when he is done.

    lol dude, you know what this is hey? this is karma debt. i'm getting a visectomy soon. but don't worry, i have similar karma to pay. ;) it'll come someday.

    you know it.


  • Nosferatu

    Throw a stick at him.

    J/K :)

  • daystar

    He's five years old.

    I just don't understand the reason for the behavior. He's a nice kid. He shares. He doesn't pick fights. He doesn't normally throw tantrums. But he is a bit energetic.

    And... karma... well, I don't "believe" in karma. But if I did, it would still confuse me. I was a very well-behaved student. I never, ever got into trouble. And when I did, in later years, is was largely due to social ineptitude and/or misunderstanding. (I once had in-school suspension because two bullies tried to gang up on me and I dared to put my hands up to protect my face. The teacher said he only saw that I had my hands up.)

    But largely, I think karma to be one of those "feel-good" philosophies, just to try to reason why bad things happen to otherwise good people. *roll eyes* I suppose I'm paying karma back from a previous life then. (I know, don't poke the tetrapods. )

    Swamboozled, thank you for the suggestion. It gives me some ideas.

  • bebu

    daystar, I think you might have lucked out here.

    A lot of kids really don't "get" that things like throwing rocks or sticks or hard objects can do real damage. It's like their brain checks out. If your son is generally non-violent or doesn't act aggressively, then this might be the lightswitch for him to "get" that the laws of physics really apply to throwing/hitting after all! (D'oh!) He will not forget it too easily, and will likely avoid worse ways of learning it.

    Believe me... it could be a LOT LOT LOT worse.


  • daystar

    When he was only two years, he threw one of his toys in his room and shattered his bedroom window...

    hmm... ... ... Perhaps it's time I enrolled him in baseball?

  • nelly136

    when my daughter and a bunch of kids got playing with a lighter and came close to setting light to someones fence which was right next to his shed, she was the only one of the bunch made to go round and apologise to the offended party.

    she hated it, it was embarrassing, it worked.

    (she was also the only one to get a smackin too but that was more my panic reaction)

  • daystar

    Oh, forgot to mention that if the car is out there tomorrow, they are going to have him deliver the apology letter himself to the mom and say he is sorry for what he's done.

    I noted that the person calling me from the school was very, very timid in speaking with me about it.

  • littlerockguy

    I dont think he did it to cause harm to anything or anyone and looking at a 5 year old's mindset it was just a quick action without much thought going into it. Kids are going to do things without thinking that has consequences like that.

    I remember your son at Chris and Nina's this past May; I could tell he was your son because he looks so much like you :) and he was very polite and very well mannered. I wouldn't be too severe. Just hope he doesn't continue to do it; then you may have a problem.

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