Faders: Would you prefer attention from the elders or not?

ringo5

This question may produce some flaming, but so be it. I've noticed many are freaked out, annoyed, worried, or simply felt harrassed when faced with the prospect of a visit from the elders when trying to fade. Others, or at times the same ones, complain that they recieved no inquiry from them at all or very little. I know I'm happy if they never show up at my door again, and I'll admit there was at time I was worried they would come over and inquire of my beliefs, but not anymore. What would you prefer?

Discuss...

Abandoned

When I first became inactive I hoped that they wouldn't visit me because I was afraid they would find out what was really in my heart. I'm not sure why I was afraid of that though. I guess I still believed they were from god and that I was just defective. Now, I'd love a visit, but back then, I prayed it wouldn't happen.

MinisterAmos

Nobody needs that kind of attention.

Just remember that any love or kindness they show to you is only done because they have to to keep their position. They couldn't care less

Mystla

I felt the same as abandoned. I dreaded their coming, I didn't know what I would say.. mostly because I hadn't really figured out why I didn't want to go back, I just knew I didn't and I knew that wasn't a good answer. But when that call never came I felt that the trust I had placed in the elders to look after me was misplaced, I felt like I had been decieved (which I now know was the case) I was in a pretty fragile state emotionaly at that point and that was very hard to take. I had grown up believing the elders would always be there for me, reality was very harsh.

Looking back now I am very glad they never called or dropped by.. I might have listened to them!! I never would have had the time to sort out the confusion in my head and learn to think for myself if they had continued thinking for me.

So, to sum up, I dreaded their coming and was pissed that they never did.

Misty

Mulan

After all this time, (almost 10 years) I would have serious concerns about their motives. We are not disfellowshipped or disassociated, but we are shunned.

At first I couldn't understand why they NEVER........... EVER came to see us, or ask what happened. The last visit we had was probably about 3 or 4 years ago and they knew at that time, that we were not likely coming back. We didn't answer their direct questions about our beliefs or activites. (We answered their questions with questions, and they didn't seem to notice that we were shifting things)

When they asked us if we considered ourselves to be Jehovah's witnesses, I asked if THEY considered us to be JW's. One elder said yes and the other no. You can't win with them. The question was never answered.

Sassy

I don't worry any more but then again they have no clue where I am and the area I live in, I never attended meetings.

but if they did find me, I'd have much less of an anxiety attack. I'd simply ask them to leave and shut the door or hang up.

I have no time for nonsense.. If I cared about going back I'd be willing to talk but I never will.. thus I have no time for them

averyniceguy

Most of the elders in my hall has my email address, they did not bother to email me to see what it is up. They should be concerned with the lost sheep from the congregation. The society said visit once a year, I did not hear from them for years! They know better than that!

Zico

My fading has been noticed because some of the elders wanted to appoint me as an MS during the CO Visit in October, since I was 'progressing well' earlier on the year, but they couldn't, because since July/August, I've stopped answering, attended less meetings, am only reporting 1 or 2 hours a month, and have given up all my privileges except mike handling. Because of this, I was promised a shepherding visit about mid-October. I've been dreading this, as I don't want to speak to any elders, but I've still not had one.

I wonder if the CO told them to do it, but now that he's gone they're not actually interested?

Abandoned

So, to sum up, I dreaded their coming and was pissed that they never did.

Well said! That was what I was trying to say exactly!!!!

delilah

I prefer not to have any of the elder's attention. My life is nice and quiet.

However, as others have said, at first I was surprised by the lack of concern, as no-one ever visited me. Almost 9 years later, nothing about the witnesses surprises me.

Faders: Would you prefer attention from the elders or not?

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