Passive Aggressive Beliefs and Rationalization

by Gretchen956 4 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Gretchen956

  My youngest brother just called me, and during our conversation he mentioned that he got a letter from our uber-witness sister. You know the type, married out of the cult, professional victim, fanatical believer, lives in constant fear the big J will watch her doing something she shouldn't.

  My brother is out too, and what he found interesting about the letter, was that it wasn't addressed to him, it was addressed to his wife (his wife and our sister are not friends nor have they had any contact in YEARS). The letter was to inform her of something business related (for him not her), and didn't even mention my brother. We figure she rationalized it that talking to the unbelieving spouse of an apostate is ok but talking to a family member. Didn't stop her from gambling while he was visiting a few years ago, though, she must have done a lot of extra praying to fix that up with the big J.

  Do you remember those types of rationalizations? "Well they haven't specifically said this, so its ok" or well I can't do THIS, but if I do THIS it works out the same and I can get around it. WTF?? Doesn't that send up some kind of red flags???

  The other interesting thing about our conversation was about our mother. She fits the above description of my sister with the addition of being an abusive beyotch. Apparently he and his therapist were having a discussion about our parents and the religion. The therapist asked him, "What would you do if your mom said tomorrow, 'You know you're right f*k this religion, I'm out of here'? I told him I thought she would be the same disallusioned angry woman, without an enabler to keep her in her comfort zone. I think I like her better now when she doesn't talk to us!

  But as the conversation went on we got into the passive aggressive part, our mom, our sister, several other family members, and scores of witnesses we personally knew were all smug and self righteous about not having to do anything at armeggedon, all these people would be killed by god and they were/are gleeful about it. Its like they have all this anger and can't vent it so they pass it along to their god who will step in and do the dirty work for them.

  Ok I'm venting, but I wonder how many of you have had similar experiences or thoughts?

  Sherry
• 

  parakeet

  Gretchen, your JW relatives sound pretty typical to me -- manipulative, self-righteous, and very, very angry. They sound like my JW relatives.
  
  My mother spent her teenage years in a war zone -- bombs dropping all around her, schoolmates gunned down in the street, semi-starvation, constant fear. I think that experience scarred her for life and made her susceptible to the JWs. As soon as she heard that promise of eternal life and no more wars, she jumped at it and never looked back.
  
  I once made the mistake of mentioning this theory to her, and she was indignant at the suggestion that her own emotional needs were the basis of her beliefs rather than convincing proof that they were true.
  
  Human beings are often unable to discern their underlying motives; this is even more true for JWs.
• 

  LongHairGal

  Parakeet:
  
  You could get away with saying that to your mother. Try saying that to somebody else and boy will they hate you! But you are probably right. People's emotional needs are mainly at the bottom of why they believe in something. But, I think all religions are alike in this way.
  
  Did you ever wonder why they needed so much positive affirmation from everybody at the hall? They needed constant positive "boosts" from people because I think deep down inside they all had doubts they tried to suppress.
  
  
  LHG
• 

  parakeet

  LHG: "They needed constant positive "boosts" from people because I think deep down inside they all had doubts they tried to suppress."
  
  
  While I was still a JW, my mother on several occasions had doubts so severe she didn't know how she could go on being a JW. But each time, despite the absence of anything to allay her doubts, she suppressed them (with much help from the "friends"). Self-delusion from an act of will! That's the ultimate goal of the WTS -- for the JWs to finally learn to indoctrinate themselves.
• 

  Woodsman

  Those things do send up rd flags but the WTS tells them they're only orange flags so its ok.