What are you doing?
We have a few UBM (unbelieving mates) here on JWD. New ones join up and post here hoping to find out what is going on, what are all these crazy rules? Why has my mate gone back to the WTS?.
JWs, regardless of their status often wind up dating and marrying non-JWs Why? Why do you do this? You break the rules by going oputside the cong. You marry these non-believers with a fantasy hope they will eventually become JWs. You justify going to the outside the JWs by saying there aren't enough JWs in your age bracket.
My mother married a non-JW. I have no idea what she was thinking but I'm so angry at how she has treated this man. He is a nice guy. Gives her everything she wants and then gets walked over by my mother and "her rules to keep and rules to break" attitude.
Early on in their marriage he bought her a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Mother's Day. She had a tantrum and tossed them in the garbage telling him he should know she can't celebrate holidays. She went on and on about this to every one trying to make him look like he was trying to persecute her and trap her into celebrating a holiday.
Then she would turn around and go to the Legion (veterans meeting place) with him. AND take a flask of alcohol with her to sip in the ladies room so no one knew how much she was drinking (appearances you know) She proudly told me about her little flask and thought she was doing the right thing.
She called me one day to tell me she had an affair withone one and wanted to report herself to the elders. I said I would support her but my elder husband made it clear if they DFed her I would not be allowed to talk to her any more. The JC put her on probation. Her husband forgave her and they stayed together.
A few years later she called me to tell me she was moving out of town. By this time I was DFed and out. But I could not believe she was leaving her husband and doing it immediately. She left him and then demanded that he sell the house and give her 1/2 for all the work she had done on it over the years. (Not that she had actualy done the work herself)
After several months he sold the house and moved with her to another province where he knew no one. Then she threw him out. Granted he was an alcoholic (but so was she). This man now had no home, was in a city where he knew no one and by doctor's orders could not live alone due to his health problems. So he moved 2 provinces away to be near his son who could help him. Then I heard that since his son lived out in the country he had moved into the nearest big city to be near a hospital.
Last Sunday I found out he has moved back in with my mother. I'm not sure what is going on. I thought they were divorced. But then again maybe they aren't.
The only reason I can think of why she would have him with her is that she wants his pension and I think there is a widow's pension if he dies while they are together.
She has made this man's life hell. I know he loves her although I'm not sure why. Even her JW sister is angry at her for what she has done to this man.
Years ago she told me she married him for the sex. They did wait until after they were married. But after the wedding she realized his alcoholism pretty much destroyed his ability to perform. - hence the affair
Why? Why do this to someone.
We regulary see people post here who are dating JWs. Invariably every X-JW here says "RUN. Don't marry them".
But they marry the JW and the battle begins. The JW asserts that their beliefs are more important then the UBM's. Married life MUST revolve around the JW rules withouyt consideration for whatever beliefs the UBM has.
If they start a family the battle ground gets larger, each parents fighting for their own beliefs and what the children will learn.
Yup I think the WTS actually has this one belief right. Marry within the Lord